not quite an ''oh feel sorry for me im so depressed'' post

[MaybeGuy]

just got off the phone to the ex after a bit of an awesome conversation, and feeling generally happy!

broke up about 2 months ago and been re-visiting to unload the testis every now and then. since then, up until about a week ago, she's been begging me to get back with her. been saying no the whole time.

no idea why she phoned, but she was all like ''ive changed, i tell the truth and dont lie now, ask me anything''

so im all like ''you obviously want to tell me something, what is it?''

''no, im being truthful (lie) i dont want to tell you anything in particular (lie) ask me a question''

ohhh the irony.

anyway, i ask a load of shit questions, then i get an awesome one where i actually beleive her!

following on from this thread... https://www.bikechatforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=160668&highlight=

about the back wheel of her RXS seizing up on her, turns out she thinks i sabotaged it! i mean what the fuck! she also told all her friends that i did, BEFORE i fixed it to get her home.

the scabby little slut

luckily for me, she didnt have any brake shoes or hub to fix it, and its dangerous to ride (as i told her, also said DONT ride it to cover my own ass).
i also said if she expects me to fit them for her she can go fuck herself

eenyway, after a bit of verbal assault, it calms down and its like ''ask me something i tell the truth''.

anyone seen moulin rouge? she's like a magical fucking sitar.

so now im definatly thinking she's hiding something, and i pretty much know she wants me to ask what shes been upto since the breakup...

''how many people have you slept with since we broke up?''

''1''

''who?''

turns out its the same guy who she cheated on me with about 6 months ago

i fucking laughed my fucking ass off! thinking about it, i should really be upset but im over the moon!

as a result of my laughter, she tells me i have a small cock, and that he's bigger than me... fuck if i care, im not the one fucking it.

thing is, he's apparantly grown significantly since 6 months ago! which is of course, entirely beleivable by conventional methods.

eenyway... tristan then phoned to tell me about his new phone, and i had to quickly tell him to fuck off so i could get back to my amusement.

the best bit was when she started telling me how she thought it was better that we werent together, and had felt that all along.

its a good thing she wasnt begging for me back then

oh well... only thing that pissed me off was the accusation. the rest has actually put me on a high and i feel brilliant

i need to find a clever girl next, preferably with an IQ above 10.
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Blue_SV650S wrote: it was a sh1te wheelie, but it proves that he can get it up in 3rd and can do angles. In summery, mattsprattuk is a gobby little sh1tebag, dopehead tw4t, but sadly for all of us, he probably isn't THAT full of sh1te!!
Kickstart wrote: Hi I tend to agree with Matt. All the best Keith

[m0l0t0v]

I know what you mean!

My ex said something along those lines (except she didn't cheat on me as in having sex, just kissing) but another guy. Oh how I laughed cause I didn't care. She bitched about me and told everyone at work and friends. Pretty much no one believed her and were like "wtf, clearly she's hurting"

Silly females.

Don't get with another girl. Just some good NSA.

Thinking about it, I need to get rid of my current girl (far far too clingy )
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'99 Hornet 600 , VFR 400 NC30 '92 , Kasawamasaki GT 550 , '98 Hornet 600
**\Tarmacsurfer/** said: It's that immaculately manly coiffure of yours isn't it. One glimpse of your virile locks and the punters can't wait to buy whatever it is you suggest, as it might let them be just a little bit like the Adonis that is our very own Molly Doovydoo said: Its not my fault I can't get it up properly, I just wasn't blessed

[rotax81]

why didnt you shorten the post to -

dear auntie bcf, i have a small penis?
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ZX636C6F road. ZX636C1H track. ZX7R redundant. ZX0.5R minimoto as ornament.
Audi A4 Avant 1.9TDi and VW Transporter 2.5TDi 888 Special (no mot and tax lol)

[MaybeGuy]

[m0l0t0v]

Small pricks are annoying though
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'99 Hornet 600 , VFR 400 NC30 '92 , Kasawamasaki GT 550 , '98 Hornet 600
**\Tarmacsurfer/** said: It's that immaculately manly coiffure of yours isn't it. One glimpse of your virile locks and the punters can't wait to buy whatever it is you suggest, as it might let them be just a little bit like the Adonis that is our very own Molly Doovydoo said: Its not my fault I can't get it up properly, I just wasn't blessed

[MaybeGuy]

anyway, less of the cocks, and more of the ''how the fuck could i have sabotaged a bike so the brake shoes disintegrated''.
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Blue_SV650S wrote: it was a sh1te wheelie, but it proves that he can get it up in 3rd and can do angles. In summery, mattsprattuk is a gobby little sh1tebag, dopehead tw4t, but sadly for all of us, he probably isn't THAT full of sh1te!!
Kickstart wrote: Hi I tend to agree with Matt. All the best Keith

[m0l0t0v]

No I think the question is:

Why didn't you sabotage the bike?
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'99 Hornet 600 , VFR 400 NC30 '92 , Kasawamasaki GT 550 , '98 Hornet 600
**\Tarmacsurfer/** said: It's that immaculately manly coiffure of yours isn't it. One glimpse of your virile locks and the punters can't wait to buy whatever it is you suggest, as it might let them be just a little bit like the Adonis that is our very own Molly Doovydoo said: Its not my fault I can't get it up properly, I just wasn't blessed

[bEN_]

Post any naked pics of her around the net so they can be turned into posters.

ie.

https://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f155/ben125uk/13767GAMERSLUT_She_does_not_approve.jpg
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2010 Ducati 848 Dark

Lamp Post Enthusiast

[MaybeGuy]

[killa]

[Charlie]

[J0Al1]

Haha, this thread is good, makes me feel better about messing a complete ass about recently. Gord, I beat myself up about nothing!

How petty - 'his cock is bigger than yours'. Who cares, we all know the bigger isn't nesc better.

[bEN_]

They say that when they have nothing else left, the 'small cock' line is the last resort they use because they've run out of crap.
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2010 Ducati 848 Dark

Lamp Post Enthusiast

[killa]

Come back with "Let me stick it up your ass and we'll see what's small"
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Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Bike:- Yamaha TRX850 | Killas Biking History | Killas Gaming History | Killas autmotive history

[MaybeGuy]

[Visitor Q]

That gamer slut is actually pretty hot

Oh and I like the fact that I've never had a 'you've got a small cock' line from any girl I've ever wound up post shag. Always good
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China traffic/travel bike vid - When I make a sweeping statement, please add the word 'statistically' in to the sentence before you bitch...
From September 2014 to January/February 2015 I will not be using any English, nor reading any. As such, I won't be on here. PM at will, but I won't be checking/posting unless in emergencies. Certainly not for the first couple of months. Please berate me savagely if I break that rule...