I'm bursting..

[UrbanRacer]

Burstin fur a shite!!!

[The Shaggy D.A.]

I'm waiting for mine to stop.
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Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5

[OssY]

hold it in, see if you explode.

[UrbanRacer]

right i need to go now

[Dragonfly]

I am on iron tablets and have a massive scar that hurts on my womb and it hurts when I need to pooh. I think I was eating glass or something I cut my bum in the process.

[hellkat]

Dragonfly!

If you are taking iron tablets, you need to take extra vitamin C as it helps to absorb the iron not only into your blood, but also into your digestion system, which will help make poohing easier in that respect (not so gritty!)

Best thing is either at least one of those 1-litre bottles of freshly squeezed orange juice per day, or just a bunch of extra oranges. Or at the very least, take extra Vitamin C tablets.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[stinkwheel]

[Dragonfly]

[hellkat]

They'll try and tell you that you will turn your milk sour by drinking orange juice.

Take no notice: old (mid)wive's tales.

And even if you did, what would you rather? : now that your baby has now had several weeks of good mother's milk, he could easily go on bottles more often, or would you rather that you continued to pooh grit?

I had to give up breastfeeding Anita after about 3 weeks ... but the 3 weeks I did feed her was apparently enough to give her a good start in life.

Don't let them force you to shit black sand.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO!!

P.S. is the milkmans OJ proper fresh squeezed OJ or that homogenised bottled stuff? I'm talking about the ruinously expensive stuff (which I buy from Tesco or Pret a Manger) or maybe perhaps you can't afford that stuff at the moment ... in which case I'd buy the oranges and squeeze them myself.

Or just get some Vitamin C tablets.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[UrbanRacer]

[Tonka]

[hellkat]

Sometimes, though, you have to build up a good head of steam before you actually get to the bathroom.

A little forced waiting time sometimes improves transmission
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Tonka]

[.....]

My two visits to the work bogs today involved me sat there doing a very good impression of a world war one fighter plane starting up.

Too much beer in the pub last night. I was sat there too long surfing the web on my phone and my leg went to sleep. I walked out limping with a numb leg. Anyone watching me come out must have thought I'd given myself a dump related injury. Given the noises that must have been eminating from there it would be a perfectly logical assumption.

[Tonka]

[GhostRider]

I must say I do enjoy waiting until I'm about to breach the helm before unleasing the evil residing into my colon unto the world. It brings a single tear to my eye as the detritus gives my prostate mild stimulation, and a rush of endorphins after chocs away, especially when sometimes it actually feels like it's coming out sideways.

GhostRider
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I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

[Dragonfly]