I can't stop Farting.

[Eddie Hitler]

Just went to the loo to brush my teeth, and noticed i farted again. It reeked. Walked back into my room and i swear to god it was like running into a brick wall head first.

Strangly enough i quite like the smell.

fin.

[Fisty]

sounds like you need a buttplug.
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Quietly and consistently taking the piss.
TL1000R | Hayabusa | ZXR400 | TL1000S | Bandit 400 V
Fatter and faster than Fret

[Dischord]

sounds like you need a shit.
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2012 KTM EXC 250

Check out my vids - https://www.youtube.com/user/KTMSparky/videos

[thegubner]

Got in from work at half six the other morning and walked in the bedroom to say hello to my missus.

That was like being punched in the face, the smell of stale farts had me retching and heaving.

I had to sleep in that room all day the dirty cow, she was ill though.

Then I had to go back to work all night sat in a fiesta with my dog farting all night! That is the last time I give him a donner kebab as a treat.

My farts however smell beautiful.

On a serious note I was reading about a woman in the paper who has not been able to stop burping for 2 years, maybe you have a similar condition?

[Ariel Badger]

Your anal emmisions stink because you eat meat, us vegetarians smell like flowers.
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Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[Fisty]

You know if a farts bad when the smell of your own makes you retch.
Still there is something deeply satisfying about a good loud rancid fart.
I once made someone physically sick with a pickled onion induced fart, and at last years rat and survival show i cleared a good area of people with a good air biscuit.

Enjoy it while you can eddie.
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Quietly and consistently taking the piss.
TL1000R | Hayabusa | ZXR400 | TL1000S | Bandit 400 V
Fatter and faster than Fret

[Ariel Badger]

I had an alcoholic builder live next door about 10 years ago.
He once let one go on the other side of the road that laid me flat.
It was very loud and you could hear bubbles of moisture in it, His ring piece sounded slack and I am sure solids were passed. The smell was ungodly and coated my mouth and nose for days.
I am so glad he moved to Devon.
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Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[GhostRider]

When I was chucking protein shakes down my gullet at least 3 or 4 times a day due to weight training, the emissions from my anal cavity were ungodly.

You can tell when something's certainly not right because it has that sulphurous tinge to it that scrapes the back of your nasal passage, and it lingers for ages. I ceratinly gagged many times smelling my own gases. I let off an air biscuit in the pub once and a girl sitting at another table burst into tears calling her clueless boyfriend a bastard for embarrising her in front of friends and stormed off.

I did not feel guilty, I felt pride.

GhostRider
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I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

[Dragonfly]

I can identify with this. Since giving birth I cant stop farting and the smell fills the bedroom like a gas chamber and even the dog has left in disgust. I think my intestines are still unfolding from being squashed up somewhere by a massive baby and there is trapped wind in there. Plus I ate beans, eggs and pure orange the other day and the farts are buring now.


Yes girls do fart.

[Eddie Hitler]

[thegubner]

Quality.

[The Original Muzza]

[Stelmer]

Nothing beats the high-pitched killer fart.


Also, anyone find Italian food gives them beasty wind?

[Skudd]

[MinhDinh]

[Didge]

[Skudd]

Do spiders fart?
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Famous last words of Humpty Dumpty. " Stop pushing me "
Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".

[steppen22]

[warped one]

Ha ha ha, best thread made in long time.

I do love a good fart, especially at work when i'm welding it gets nice and warm as it goes up and round my ovealls then bam right in the kisser, worst ones are the zyclon b farts that a heavy night on he stella brings out. Just love to do them right next to a guy welding then walk off. Or another thing is when you fart run up to the nearest bloke rip open youroveralls and woft it into their face. The retreat rather fast.

Just a side topic what alcoholic beverage do you think creates the most retch inducing eye watering farts?

Also spiders can fart.

Cheers

Warped
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amnesia - Never in the history of usernames has one been more accurate. Warped indeed. You sir are a fecking oddball.

[c_dug]

Guinness is a good one for mega-farts the kind that you feel building up slowly for like half an hour before making an exit to a sound not far off that of a tuba

[Skudd]

[GhostRider]

[steppen22]

[c_dug]

[pyx_e]

I went vegetarian for a day, it was terrible. My "best" farts are when I eat cold KFC. I like a good fart but that is just to much. My wife throws it away if she gets up in the morning and finds some in the fridge. It is either that or cry for two days.
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Shiney!
Kawasaki: ER5, Versys, VN900.