I've really got to stop getting myself into these situation!

[Feasty]

I enjoy a good 'ruck' now and again and this morning when I set off for work I was just in the mood for it - no idea why.

I was approaching a roundabout to turn right onto a dual carriageway and stuck behind a car dead on the 40mph speed limit. I didn't mind, that is the speed limit after all! I followed with a reasonable gap in front of me when this Renault people carrier came flying up behind me and literally sat 2 feet away from my back wheel up to the roundabout where he then proceeded to undertake me and the car in front of me (we're both turning right) on the roundabout before whizzing off down the dual carriageway. That pissed me off a little so after the car in front had pulled into the left hand lane I zipped up to this people carrier to find the driver on his mobile!
Wanting to point out his idiocy I held my hand out in the phone manner (hand clenched with thumb and little finger sticking out) and then did the wanker sign (I'm sure we all know which one that is), before surging ahead thinking I'd just leave him behind. However he catches up on the next roundabout, straight up to my back wheel again and starts beeping his horn and indicating for me to pull over so we could have a good 1-2-1. Well I'm not really interested in 1-2-1's as my time is better spent enjoying riding my bike and getting to work in time. So I indicate that I think he's a bit mental by pointing to my own head and waving my finger round in a circular motion. This seems to get to him even more and after this roundabout he starts to undertake me, at this point I'm a little uncertain just how safe a driver he is so I decide to zip up the power, cut in front of him, and leave him for dust doing a bit of a slalom through the reasonably heavy traffic.
Cue him doing the same, which is quite scary because the gaps I'm going through are wide enough for one mand and his bike but a car... no!
Anyway, eventually we hit standing traffic and so with a victory salute from me and flashing, beeping and ear steam from him, I filter into the sunrise.

10mins later... and I'm on a NSL dual carriageway in the right hand lane with 2 slow cars in front of me, nothing in the left hand lane and no sign of these cars pulling over. With my exit in sight I check my mirrors, start indicating left and pulling towards the left hand lane when the Transit that was behind me suddenly decides to throw caution to the wind and zooms down the left lane nearly taking me out, luckily I did a 2nd mirror check before crossing the lane dividing white lines and see this.
Well as you can imagine I'm not a very happy chappy, so I follow the van before zipping back out into the fast lane and overtaking him making sure he knows what I think of his recent manouvre and then quickly taking my exit. He follows with a few (compulsory it seems) flashes of his high beam before taking a different exit.

I get to work feeling very much happier, refreshed and alive and glad to have been able to put my points across to the world and shown them the error of their ways. Somewhere inside though I suspect I've been a bit of a prick and realistically not behaved all that well!
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Previous: Aprilia Habana Retro 50cc (beauty), Yamaha SR125 (fell apart), Honda XR125 (nippy little commuter), Honda SLR650 (Geewhizz), Yamaha Diversion 900S (Smoooooth) written off courtesy of a stupid escaped horse.
(7 year gap), BMW F650 (Relaxing ride). Aprilia Caponord ETV1000 (Big and bold). Yamaha FZS600 (got me in trouble too quick!).
Current: Yamaha TDM 900 (Comfy, light but big, power when needed).

[the grim reaper]

The problem, when you're angry, is that your objectivity goes out of the window. Take the second incident, I hate lane hoggers as much as anyone but overtaking them on the left is not the best way to go, especially as you seem to have not noticed the Transit until the last second. I have been known to overtake on the left but I make sure that no-one is behind me (especially a copper) and do it in a calm and safe manner, as far over to the left as possible.

If you calm down a bit on the road you'll probably find that you just ignore these idiots, they're everywhere these days, let them wind you up and you'll be forever getting wound up.

Cheers

Grim
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Adverts don't always work: Remember that advert, where the army are running across the desert and they have a wounded man on a stretcher. They get to a ravine, the bridge is down and a caption pops up that says, 'What are you thinking?'. I don't know about you but I was thinking, 'Christ, I'm glad I'm not in the f***ing army'.

[Feasty]

Ah, you misunderstand me the grim reaper, I followed the van undertaking the 2 cars before I then went into the right hand lane overtaking the van then cutting across ahead of him into my exit, leaving plenty of room between us though - I don't do cutting up at those sorts of speeds!

Thing is, yes I get annoyed, but I feel very calm at the time and I like to believe I do think through exactly how I'm going to do these things very quickly. I take into account for example the age/sex of the drivers around me, the types of cars they have what speeds I'm likely to achieve, the road conditions etc, etc. There have been lots more occasions where I've been in these situations and refused to be drawn in because the dangers would outweigh the effect. Just sometimes it's almost as if I achieve a slightly higher state of conciousness... sometimes due to just being happy rather than sad or angry.

And no I don't do drugs...
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Previous: Aprilia Habana Retro 50cc (beauty), Yamaha SR125 (fell apart), Honda XR125 (nippy little commuter), Honda SLR650 (Geewhizz), Yamaha Diversion 900S (Smoooooth) written off courtesy of a stupid escaped horse.
(7 year gap), BMW F650 (Relaxing ride). Aprilia Caponord ETV1000 (Big and bold). Yamaha FZS600 (got me in trouble too quick!).
Current: Yamaha TDM 900 (Comfy, light but big, power when needed).

[Bishbash]

Why didn't you pull over when the guy in the people carrier flashed and indicated you to do so, I would have jumped at the chance of having it out with the guy who sat up my arse and was also on the phone. Its all well giving the guy the wanker sign when you travelling next to him then riding off. But it just does not get through to them, it really doesn't. Was he massive or something?
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My current bikes are - YZF-R1 & GS 500 E

Trackday videos - https://www.youtube.com/user/bishbash13

[Feasty]

And you think stopping and getting into an argument, possibly more, might work!?
Rubbish, I doubt those kind of drivers will ever change in a million years. I just get satisfaction from the fact I've made him aware of what he was doing wrong, he got pissed at me and in all probability went on his way in a very bad mood from it. I've done this before (not regularly at all though) and drivers have either ignored me or just stuck a finger up, fine I don't take it any further - I can only hope that even just ONCE I've done this to someone and later on they've picked their mobiles up whilst driving and suddenly remembered and had 2nd thoughts...

I'm not the kind of bloke to get physical, I just don't see the point in it - I like to think I'm beyond the nethandreal era even if others aren't! The bloke in the people carrier was a baldy thickset oldish guy, couldn't really say how tall but I suspect he may have been in a few brawls before now. I'm 6'2, 19st and can hold my own if necessary...
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Previous: Aprilia Habana Retro 50cc (beauty), Yamaha SR125 (fell apart), Honda XR125 (nippy little commuter), Honda SLR650 (Geewhizz), Yamaha Diversion 900S (Smoooooth) written off courtesy of a stupid escaped horse.
(7 year gap), BMW F650 (Relaxing ride). Aprilia Caponord ETV1000 (Big and bold). Yamaha FZS600 (got me in trouble too quick!).
Current: Yamaha TDM 900 (Comfy, light but big, power when needed).

[Hetzer]

I'll accomodate a max of two people getting out of their car to me, more than that and I'm off unless I'm in a really psycopathic mood and have a weapon to hand. Most I've actually had was two, and they both backed down and fucked off with my flea in their ear. More single blokes than I can remember. And yes, just as Beanfeast says, it does leave one feeling on top of t' world.
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"There's the horizon! Ride hard, ride fast and cut down all who stand in your way!"

[TheDonUK]

Someone nearly took me off years back, really close the way he cut infront of me, so i followed him down a side road, went to put the side stand down, neutral, then i saw him getting out with a claw hammer...

I made off quite sharpish lol
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[Current Bikes - GSXR-750 K5 & C90-97 ] [Previous Bikes: Runner 125, YBR 125, GS500, Bandit 600, Hornet 600, ZX6R-99, C90-99, R1-99, XT600E-04, GSXR-750 K4, CRF250L '16]

[Finglonga]

Easiest way is to accept there are cocks on the road and ignore them. If you don't then you can end up in the situations above . . . . . What is the point?
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Andy Sez....
F.Y.Y.F.F.

[Bishbash]

Oh, I quite agree there are tonnes of idiots on the roads, but I would have just loved to know what HE was going to argue about. You giving him the w@nker sign...Well that would be a long argument...
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My current bikes are - YZF-R1 & GS 500 E

Trackday videos - https://www.youtube.com/user/bishbash13

[Feasty]

Oh I can see it now... I'd be saying "Using your mobile whilst driving is not only illegal but downright fucking dangerous, especially to people like me who ride bikes".
He'd be saying "Mind your own fucking business, who made you phone police and if bikes are that dangerous don't ride one".

We'd then shake hands, agree to disagree but be more careful in future and be on our merry ways...
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Previous: Aprilia Habana Retro 50cc (beauty), Yamaha SR125 (fell apart), Honda XR125 (nippy little commuter), Honda SLR650 (Geewhizz), Yamaha Diversion 900S (Smoooooth) written off courtesy of a stupid escaped horse.
(7 year gap), BMW F650 (Relaxing ride). Aprilia Caponord ETV1000 (Big and bold). Yamaha FZS600 (got me in trouble too quick!).
Current: Yamaha TDM 900 (Comfy, light but big, power when needed).

[ajb]

I seriously recommend fitting a camera (or 2) to your bike.

That way you can record them breaking the law / endagering your life AND get their number plate.
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CBR125R '05 > CB500 '00 > CBR600F '99

[Feasty]

[ajb]

[Smooth]

The driver sounds like the worst kind of idiot, but what did the episode achieve?

I too find the whole,
'somebody does something wrong, then takes great offence and wants retribution when somebody objects to their wrong act' really annoying , but with the practicalities of calling in an air-strike being tricky, what can you do?

Just leave it.

[Feasty]

Yeah I know, and that's exactly why I have to stop doing these things and I (nearly ) always end up feeling like a prick afterwards... . Ah well, at least these things don't happen often!
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Previous: Aprilia Habana Retro 50cc (beauty), Yamaha SR125 (fell apart), Honda XR125 (nippy little commuter), Honda SLR650 (Geewhizz), Yamaha Diversion 900S (Smoooooth) written off courtesy of a stupid escaped horse.
(7 year gap), BMW F650 (Relaxing ride). Aprilia Caponord ETV1000 (Big and bold). Yamaha FZS600 (got me in trouble too quick!).
Current: Yamaha TDM 900 (Comfy, light but big, power when needed).

[metalangel]

I'd love to headbutt (while wearing my helmet) all the twats who follow right up a bike's arse... especially at night, as you can feel the glow of their headlights. Do you really think your shitty Corsa is going to stop as quickly as a modern sports bike if I suddenly have to?
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Previous: 2002 Honda CB500 (sold), 2007 Suzuki SV650SK6 (crashed), 2005 Yamaha FZ6 Fazer (sold). Currently bikeless
"A faired bike will get you 10x more clunge than a unfaired one." -Marlboro Matt

[Kal]

[wristjob]

[Flip]

I don't really suffer from road rage on the bike. In the car is a different story though.

Chased people, stopped on small roundabouts to get out and have a word etc. Missus hates it when I drive

Only got off the bike once to have ago at someone that I remember. Got chased by a small van once by a fella twice my size. Thank f*ck for filtering.

[warped one]

I hate these tw@ts to, but the most satisfaction the i've had with them was on my way to college, some dozy bint in her nice shiny WHITE merc on the phone to probly some other air head decided that my bike was just holding open a spot for her so queue me jumping on the brakes to get out of her way, and nearly getting arse ended by one of my college mate who was behind me. When she took my turn on to a NSL I built up a litle distance between is then floored it, came up behind her doing about 90mph she saw it and jumped on the brakes, just as I thought she would so it was Steelie out and run the bare toe cap right down the drivers side and took the mirror off with my knee, then just calmly caried on with my journey.

Now this is where it gets amusing, my colege mate who was behind me got to college about 1/2 hour after me because this retard got out of her car and stopped all of the traffic on the road and started asking who had done that to her car, and then was quizzing my mate for about 15minutes until the driver behind him said to her "Bikers ay you just don't fvck with them, especially with what was a nice car like yours" The whole of my class were pissing ourselves over his comment. Absolute class but true.

Cheers

Warped
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amnesia - Never in the history of usernames has one been more accurate. Warped indeed. You sir are a fecking oddball.