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B10Hazard
World Chat Champion



Joined: 29 Jan 2009
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PostPosted: 22:28 - 16 May 2009    Post subject: Do you think this is okay Reply with quote
I have filled an aplication form out for a job and i messed it up a little so i emailed them this. Think it looks professional and reckon it shows i am very eger etc.

Hi, my name is Daniel Riley. I went into the Conextions office in Crewe and got an aplication form sent to me about the job your offering. I have made some small mistakes on the form. Would it be okay if i come in at some point and get another off you ?
I was wondering what time you are open till ?

Thank you.

Or another option is if i email all the details on the from to you. May save postal time and things.
My adress is . .


If we are not able to do the above.

Dan.

Adress blocked out so you dont send gay times Thumbs Up
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Last edited by B10Hazard on 22:45 - 16 May 2009; edited 1 time in total
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colin1
Captain Safety



Joined: 17 Feb 2005
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PostPosted: 22:34 - 16 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
actually, your address is still visible, i'd take that down if i were u

im not going to repeat all of it but 7NP is the end of your postcode
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silky666
Captain Rulebook



Joined: 28 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: 22:36 - 16 May 2009    Post subject: Re: Do you think this is okay Reply with quote
BioHazard wrote:

My adress is . .
1* M** l** E**
Blakenhall, Nantwich
Cheshire
CW* 7N*

If we are not able to do the above.

Dan.

Adress blocked out so you dont send gay times Thumbs Up


Gay Times and Arse Felchers Weekly on its way Thumbs Up
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tutton
World Chat Champion



Joined: 04 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: 22:41 - 16 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Id be surprised if you got the job now,
dosnt look at all professional.
The professional way of doing a application is drafting it out on a peice of paper to make sure its all right before doing the neat copy onto the real form Laughing
Edit: if youve already sent that youve utter failed its a business letter Needs a Dear sir/madam,
and a yours faithfully at the bottom. Not a "thank you"
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Last edited by tutton on 22:44 - 16 May 2009; edited 1 time in total
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MarJay
But it's British!



Joined: 15 Sep 2003
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PostPosted: 22:41 - 16 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
A till is a thing that holds money in a shop.

Seriously... sort it out. That is the worst formal letter I've seen in a long time.
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MarJay
But it's British!



Joined: 15 Sep 2003
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PostPosted: 22:45 - 16 May 2009    Post subject: Re: Do you think this is okay Reply with quote
BioHazard wrote:
I have filled an aplication form out for a job and i messed it up a little so i emailed them this. Think it looks professional and reckon it shows i am very eger etc.


Yes, very eger (!).

Dear sir or madam,

I am writing to you in reference to a job application I submitted to you which I obtained from the Crewe office of Connexions. I have since discovered that some of the information on the form requires some amendment. Would it be possible for me to come to your offices to make the necessary changes?

Regards,

Some bloke who can't write or spell whose application is going to go straight in the bin anyway.

How hard was that? Rolling Eyes

If I were the person sifting applications, I'd throw the letter and the application straight in the bin. If you can't get an application form right first time, what chance have you got in the working environment? I don't care if it is an application for a shelf stacker or McDonalds employee - an uncooked McChicken Sandwich is still a lawsuit for my company even if it is a 'low grade' job.

I really fail to understand how people can leave education today without being able to write something like this. Especially when I have seen better posts with better spelling and grammar by the same person.

I truly am astounded by that.
____________________
British beauty: Triumph Street Triple R; Loony stroker: KR1S; Track fun: GSXR750 L1; Commuter Missile: GSX-S1000F; Cheap project: CBR900RR FireBlade
Remember kids, bikes aren't like lego. You can't easily take a part from one bike and then fit it to another.

Last edited by MarJay on 22:49 - 16 May 2009; edited 1 time in total
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The Shaggy D.A.
Super Spammer



Joined: 12 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: 22:51 - 16 May 2009    Post subject: Re: Do you think this is okay Reply with quote
BioHazard wrote:
Hi, my name is Daniel Riley. I went into the Conextions office in Crewe and got an aplication form sent to me about the job your offering. I have made some small mistakes on the form. Would it be okay if i come in at some point and get another off you ?
I was wondering what time you are open till ?

Thank you.

Or another option is if i email all the details on the from to you. May save postal time and things.
My adress is . .
10 Mill lane End
Blakenhall, Nantwich
Cheshire
CW5 7NP

If we are not able to do the above.

Dan.


Straight in the round file. Isn't this something the Connexions office provide help with?
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silky666
Captain Rulebook



Joined: 28 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: 22:56 - 16 May 2009    Post subject: Re: Do you think this is okay Reply with quote
BioHazard wrote:

Hi (too informal), my name is Daniel Riley. I went into the Conextions office in Crewe and got (sounds childish) an aplication form sent to me about the job your offering. I have made some small mistakes on the form. Would it be okay if i come in at some point and get another off you ? (again, childish speak)
I was wondering what time you are open till ?

Thank you.

Or another option is if i email all the details on the from to you. May save postal time and things. (and things ?)
My adress is . .
blah blah

If we are not able to do the above.

Dan.

Adress blocked out so you dont send gay times Thumbs Up


Try:

FAO: Recruitment - Conextions Office, Crewe.

I recently collected an application form for the (insert job name) role.
Unfortunately I have entered some of the details incorrectly and wish to complete my application using a new form.
Would it be acceptable to pick this up from your offices and could you please confirm your opening times?

Alternatively, the form could be posted to:
(your address )

Thankyou in advance,
(your name)
____________________
There's nothing that shouts "Poor Workmanship" more than wrinkles in the Gaffa tape.

Gaffa tape is like "the force" - it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
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dgo1212
Brolly Dolly



Joined: 06 Dec 2008
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PostPosted: 22:58 - 16 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Is it just me,or do certain words make formal letters look very unprofesional,words like "went" and "got"?
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silky666
Captain Rulebook



Joined: 28 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: 22:59 - 16 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
I missed the fact that he has already sent it Shocked Doh!
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There's nothing that shouts "Poor Workmanship" more than wrinkles in the Gaffa tape.

Gaffa tape is like "the force" - it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
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B10Hazard
World Chat Champion



Joined: 29 Jan 2009
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PostPosted: 23:01 - 16 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Well now i feel much better Thumbs Up
Hopefully it will be some silly blonde behind the desk that just sends me a new form Wink

Its the first time i have ever had to do something of that nature and didnt think asking for an aplication for had to be so dam literate.
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Current bike .. The police stole it
No longer any socks
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B10Hazard
World Chat Champion



Joined: 29 Jan 2009
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PostPosted: 23:20 - 16 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
awwwwwwww
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mistergixer
World Chat Champion



Joined: 15 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: 09:28 - 17 May 2009    Post subject: Re: Do you think this is okay Reply with quote
MarJay wrote:


I am writing to you in reference to a job application I submitted to you


I believe it is poor form to begin a letter with 'I am writing to you.......'.
Essentially, the fact that you have written means the 'i am writing' part is superfluous - if you hadn't written, they wouldn't be reading, therefore they know you are writing.
Simply putting 'With Reference to' or 'With regard to' is, i believe, a better use of language.

[/pedantic semantic]

Wink
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MarJay
But it's British!



Joined: 15 Sep 2003
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PostPosted: 11:21 - 17 May 2009    Post subject: Re: Do you think this is okay Reply with quote
mistergixer wrote:
MarJay wrote:


I am writing to you in reference to a job application I submitted to you


I believe it is poor form to begin a letter with 'I am writing to you.......'.
Essentially, the fact that you have written means the 'i am writing' part is superfluous - if you hadn't written, they wouldn't be reading, therefore they know you are writing.
Simply putting 'With Reference to' or 'With regard to' is, i believe, a better use of language.

[/pedantic semantic]

Wink


Believe what you want, its still about 9000000% better than what he actually wrote.
____________________
British beauty: Triumph Street Triple R; Loony stroker: KR1S; Track fun: GSXR750 L1; Commuter Missile: GSX-S1000F; Cheap project: CBR900RR FireBlade
Remember kids, bikes aren't like lego. You can't easily take a part from one bike and then fit it to another.
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mistergixer
World Chat Champion



Joined: 15 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: 11:31 - 17 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
TBH, my 2 year old could have drafted a better reply than the OP.
Doesn't detract from your poor form though.

Wink
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JonB
Afraid of Mileage



Joined: 03 Jun 2004
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PostPosted: 12:39 - 17 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
No wonder some people are unemployed really is it?
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pa_broon74
World Chat Champion



Joined: 28 Mar 2006
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PostPosted: 13:15 - 17 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
I don't know...

I might want someone who'll just stand and wash vegetables all day as opposed to pulling people up on points of spelling and grammar...

"Hi, give us a Cheeseburger with fries and small coke ta."

"Ah yes, I think you will find sir, the proper way to table such a request is thus: hello, please may I have a Cheeseburger, French Fries and a small Coca Cola, thank you kindly."

"Oi Einstein, just wash the fucking veg!"

Wink
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Pickledswede
Traffic Copper



Joined: 15 Jul 2008
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PostPosted: 13:32 - 17 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
BioHazard wrote:
Think it looks professional and reckon it shows i am very eger etc.


Really?

Come on, so many grammar and spelling mistakes. Get the form right in the first place, failing that, use a spellchecker at least! Try to use full sentences aswell, rather than writing as if you are taking notes, 'May save postal time and things. '

Seems pretty harsh, but how much time does it actually take to check it over? You may not need to be the most literate person for whatever job you are applying for, but if you are and nobody else is you have the edge. On the other hand, if you are not and everyone else is...
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Hetzer
Super Spammer



Joined: 19 Feb 2007
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PostPosted: 14:00 - 17 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
pa_broon74 wrote:
I don't know...

I might want someone who'll just stand and wash vegetables all day as opposed to pulling people up on points of spelling and grammar...

"Hi, give us a Cheeseburger with fries and small coke ta."

"Ah yes, I think you will find sir, the proper way to table such a request is thus: hello, please may I have a Cheeseburger, French Fries and a small Coca Cola, thank you kindly."

"Oi Einstein, just wash the fucking veg!"

Wink


Actually, the correct form would be more something like this:

"I hope you will excuse my impertinence sir, but I believe you will find the correct way to table such a request is thus: 'Good evening my fine fellow. I was passing by and noticed your rather excellent establishment and it's array of tempting vittles and was moved by a certain hunger that I suddenly noticed was upon me to enter and partake of their undoubtedly exemplarary nutritional quality. So if it would not be of too much trouble to you my good man I would be most grateful if you would prepare and provide for me a cheeseburger, fries of the French persuasion and a bottle of your freshest orange juice. I would have prefered Coca-Cola of course, in latter times, but I understand a deranged cad, and probable sodomite, in service of the government decreed that cocaine should no longer be permitted as an ingredient, so that now odious beverage may be inserted into some orifice or other where the light of the sun is never welcomed or known as a natural form of illumination. Here is my card, please have me informed post-haste upon the conclusion of your preparatory endeavours whereupon my meal will be ready to collect. My eternal gratitude to you sir, I bid you good evening and toodle pip.'"
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pa_broon74
World Chat Champion



Joined: 28 Mar 2006
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PostPosted: 14:18 - 17 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Heh!

I wonder what the reaction would be if you did ask for your food in such a fashion.

"Do want to go large with that?"

Wink
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Hetzer
Super Spammer



Joined: 19 Feb 2007
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PostPosted: 15:14 - 17 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
pa_broon74 wrote:
Heh!

I wonder what the reaction would be if you did ask for your food in such a fashion.

"Do want to go large with that?"



"I have ordered an elegant sufficiency thankyou, anything additional would be superfluous."
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The Disapproving Brit
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Joined: 10 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: 15:20 - 17 May 2009    Post subject: Re: Do you think this is okay Reply with quote
https://img29.imageshack.us/img29/5585/postmark.jpg
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Harold_Shand
World Chat Champion



Joined: 07 Jun 2004
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PostPosted: 15:40 - 17 May 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Hetzer wrote:
pa_broon74 wrote:
I don't know...

I might want someone who'll just stand and wash vegetables all day as opposed to pulling people up on points of spelling and grammar...

"Hi, give us a Cheeseburger with fries and small coke ta."

"Ah yes, I think you will find sir, the proper way to table such a request is thus: hello, please may I have a Cheeseburger, French Fries and a small Coca Cola, thank you kindly."

"Oi Einstein, just wash the fucking veg!"

Wink


Actually, the correct form would be more something like this:

"I hope you will excuse my impertinence sir, but I believe you will find the correct way to table such a request is thus: 'Good evening my fine fellow. I was passing by and noticed your rather excellent establishment and it's array of tempting vittles and was moved by a certain hunger that I suddenly noticed was upon me to enter and partake of their undoubtedly exemplarary nutritional quality. So if it would not be of too much trouble to you my good man I would be most grateful if you would prepare and provide for me a cheeseburger, fries of the French persuasion and a bottle of your freshest orange juice. I would have prefered Coca-Cola of course, in latter times, but I understand a deranged cad, and probable sodomite, in service of the government decreed that cocaine should no longer be permitted as an ingredient, so that now odious beverage may be inserted into some orifice or other where the light of the sun is never welcomed or known as a natural form of illumination. Here is my card, please have me informed post-haste upon the conclusion of your preparatory endeavours whereupon my meal will be ready to collect. My eternal gratitude to you sir, I bid you good evening and toodle pip.'"


Hetzer has obviously been to Mcdonalds with Mr James.
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