Well I find myself living and working in Cyprus, I love it, 9 months of summer per year, wall to wall sunshine. There is however one giant blot on the landscape, driving.
I’ve seen all the threads regarding the, over zealous, nature of the boys in blue, and logic might dictate that the removal of the majority of officialdom from the roads would make for a more pleasant riding experience. Well, you’d be wrong, the driving over here is fookin’ awful.
So much so, that I wouldn’t even contemplate riding my, “Not For Highway Use”, DRZ400E on the road.
Ok, well, you’ll have spotted something straight away, here there is no MOT testing for bikes, which means I could, should I wish to, ride my, “Not For Highway Use”, complete with full knobblies, on the road. It also means that any pillock with a, trashed, slo-ped can take to the road and wobble their, merry, way through the traffic anytime they please.
Secondly, the police, (they’re the blokes who you see parked up in the shade of a tree asleep), even if they felt like it can’t stop bikes. They can try, usually by standing in the middle of the road and requesting you to pull over, but they’re not allowed to chase you, hence most bikes have tiny number plates, if any.
You are required to wear a helmet here, very few do, hence the high mortality rate. A couple of weeks ago, there was an article in the local rag, saying that daytime running lights were to be made compulsory for bikes, (how they’re going to enforce this without MOT’s is anyone’s guess). Anyway the irony of it was that the accompanying picture in the paper featured rider and pillion, neither of whom thought it was worth bothering with a helmet……DOH!
Ok, hands up I’m a weekend/bank holiday warrior, my biking is, strictly, off road, but I’ve got a lot to choose from less than a minute from my doorstep. Unfortunately I’ve got to work for a living and have a 120mile round trip commute per day. I used to complain about the standard of driving in the UK, 3 years ago, when I lived there, but I take it all back.
My daily trip is 2/3 m-way, the speed limit is 100kph however, you will not get nicked for anything up to 120kph, which is fair enough. The first part of the m-way takes me through Limassol, where dodging pedestrians, trying to cross an 80mph traffic jam keeps your wits about you. Then you get the pet owners, stopping on the hard shoulder and shoving their unwanted, furry, friends out of the door, thereby dodging the vets’ bill for having said animal put down.
We have undertaking, undertaking on the hard shoulder, idiots weaving in an out of lanes, narrowly avoiding collisions with the hard shoulder undertakers.
The vast majority of drivers, (I hesitate to elevate them to that status), are on their mobiles, reading the paper or doing anything as long as it takes their mind of the road. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve seen cars bounce of the Armco, because they weren’t looking where they were going.
One of my more memorable moments, whilst on the motorway, was cresting a hill, only to find a 7.5 tonner doing a u-turn in front of me, thank god for ABS. Apart from the obvious stupidity of the situation, he could have simply reversed back up the slip road he came from, or even more sensibly, driven the 2km to the next exit.
Once off the m-way, the problems increase. All, and I mean all, speed limits are ignored. There is an inability, pertaining to all natives, to drive more than a100m in between two white lines without lurching, violently, into the path of oncoming vehicles.
Overtaking on blind corners is mandatory; all Cypriots have a sixth sense that allows them to see what’s coming the other way, allegedly.
Certain elderly ladies seem to think it’s acceptable to circumnavigate roundabouts in the wrong direction, always raises a chuckle!
Traffic lights are there mainly to provide entertainment, and are routinely ignored. The “creep” is very popular; the vehicle, slowly, creeps forward until the cars crossing its path have to veer around, marvellous.
Indicators, here, are an optional extra, even those who paid the extra don’t seem to know their left from their right.
Parking, double yellows, pah, for wimps only, double parking, triple parking, we got it all. My own personal favourite is the 90 degree, bonnet on the pavement, back end in the road, nice!
I’m keeping a list of items that have bounced of my car, having exited the vehicle in front, the half full can of coke that took my wing mirror out, was a good un, half a Cuban cigar, still alight, a carrier bag full of rubbish, and a 2 meter length of plastic drain pipe are a just a few of them.
Drink driving, is a national pass time, yes, you can be breathalysed, although this is highly unlikely outside one of the larger towns.
Now get yourself comfy, this is going to blow you away. If you’ve been breathalysed, and fail the test, by any amount, you are given a ticket, and taken to the local nick, whereupon you are blood tested and a statement taken. You are then, taken back to your car and told to go on your, merry, way. The reason being, it would be against you human rights to be held overnight in the cells……eh? Unfortunately this, ridiculous, situation lead to, at least, four deaths last year.
As a pedestrian, there are a few things you must never do.
Never, ever, attempt to use a zebra crossing, unless you’re contemplating suicide, your life is but nothing compared to the inconvenience of having to slow down in Daddy’s Merc.
Same applies to pelican crossings, all ignored with impunity.
Did I mention, pulling out in front of you, it’s essential here to make sure you are never more than a meter behind the vehicle in front, a millimetre more is classed as a reasonable gap to pull into. The most common daily occurrence, is the flat out overtake, which is followed by locked wheels and an immediate left turn in front of you, still can’t get my head around that one.
Well there you go, anarchy on the streets of Cyprus, could you cope?
I’ve opted not to bother with it on my bike, I’ll chance my arm with the snakes and lizards off road.
Be careful what you wish for!
Sid |
Help & FAQs
Search BCF
Members
Groups
Events Calendar
rating
rating