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What Coffin?

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Scouse
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PostPosted: 19:00 - 21 Jul 2009    Post subject: What Coffin? Reply with quote
How would will/your coffin look if it's down to your wishes?
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The999Kid
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PostPosted: 19:10 - 21 Jul 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
my coffin would be an urn... which would end up empty because i want my ashes scattered...
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Scouse
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PostPosted: 19:13 - 21 Jul 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
ProvectusIncurro wrote:
my coffin would be an urn... which would end up empty because i want my ashes scattered...


Where?
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Hetzer
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PostPosted: 19:16 - 21 Jul 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
A cardboard box would do for me. But those funereal fuckers won't provide them, there's too little profit in it for the greedy cunts. £2500 was the cheapest possible price my mate's family could get for his send-off, money they could ill-afford. And for what...a cheap box worth about £25 and a lift to the crematoria. And I bet they don't burn the box either, they take the body out and chuck it into the oven and take the box away with them.

Funeral directors should be subject to legislation. And why not, everything else is. Guess they must have a powerful parliamentary lobby, just like insurance companies and banks. And Tescos.
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Scouse
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PostPosted: 19:21 - 21 Jul 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Hetzer wrote:
A cardboard box would do for me. But those funereal fuckers won't provide them, there's too little profit in it for the greedy cunts. £2500 was the cheapest possible price my mate's family could get for his send-off, money they could ill-afford. And for what...a cheap box worth about £25 and a lift to the crematoria. And I bet they don't burn the box either, they take the body out and chuck it into the oven and take the box away with them.

Funeral directors should be subject to legislation. And why not, everything else is. Guess they must have a powerful parliamentary lobby, just like insurance companies and banks. And Tescos.


Noooo they have to burn the box or there would be no ashes left as they remove the bodies to strip them of their finest suits.
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Hetzer
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PostPosted: 19:25 - 21 Jul 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Scouse wrote:
Hetzer wrote:
A cardboard box would do for me. But those funereal fuckers won't provide them, there's too little profit in it for the greedy cunts. £2500 was the cheapest possible price my mate's family could get for his send-off, money they could ill-afford. And for what...a cheap box worth about £25 and a lift to the crematoria. And I bet they don't burn the box either, they take the body out and chuck it into the oven and take the box away with them.

Funeral directors should be subject to legislation. And why not, everything else is. Guess they must have a powerful parliamentary lobby, just like insurance companies and banks. And Tescos.


Noooo they have to burn the box or there would be no ashes left as they remove the bodies to strip them of their finest suits.


What do they do with the bodies then, if all they burn is the box?

Hmm...don't think I'll be ordering anymore chinese takeaways. Neutral
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The Shaggy D.A.
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PostPosted: 19:25 - 21 Jul 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Bin day is Monday here.
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Howling TerrorOutOfOffice
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PostPosted: 19:29 - 21 Jul 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
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Scouse
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PostPosted: 19:30 - 21 Jul 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Hetzer wrote:
What do they do with the bodies then, if all they burn is the box?

Hmm...don't think I'll be ordering anymore chinese takeaways. Neutral


Do you never sit and wonder why anybody has never declared what goes in to doner meat? They say 'doner' but is that a typo on 'donor' that stuck.
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Hetzer
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PostPosted: 19:34 - 21 Jul 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Scouse wrote:
Hetzer wrote:
What do they do with the bodies then, if all they burn is the box?

Hmm...don't think I'll be ordering anymore chinese takeaways. Neutral


Do you never sit and wonder why anybody has never declared what goes in to doner meat? They say 'doner' but is that a typo on 'donor' that stuck.


I think you're right. Yay, chinese is back on the menu! Thumbs Up Very Happy
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tatters
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PostPosted: 19:35 - 21 Jul 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Scouse wrote:
Hetzer wrote:
A cardboard box would do for me. But those funereal fuckers won't provide them, there's too little profit in it for the greedy cunts. £2500 was the cheapest possible price my mate's family could get for his send-off, money they could ill-afford. And for what...a cheap box worth about £25 and a lift to the crematoria. And I bet they don't burn the box either, they take the body out and chuck it into the oven and take the box away with them.

Funeral directors should be subject to legislation. And why not, everything else is. Guess they must have a powerful parliamentary lobby, just like insurance companies and banks. And Tescos.


Noooo they have to burn the box or there would be no ashes left as they remove the bodies to strip them of their finest suits.



From what l,ve heard, they are placed in a cheap pine wood or simular wood box with is then placed in the display coffen you see, that is burnt and the display coffin is re-used.

At lest with being buried you get a desent coffin.
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The Shaggy D.A.
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PostPosted: 19:37 - 21 Jul 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
tatters wrote:
At lest with being buried you get a desent coffin.


Like it matters.
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Scouse
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PostPosted: 19:45 - 21 Jul 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
The Shaggy D.A. wrote:
tatters wrote:
At lest with being buried you get a desent coffin.


Like it matters.


Gives the worms some aims in life/a decent fill.
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kitty kat
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PostPosted: 19:46 - 21 Jul 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
I want the cheapest one possible, why waste money on something that will get burned?
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Hetzer
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PostPosted: 19:47 - 21 Jul 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
tatters wrote:



From what l,ve heard, they are placed in a cheap pine wood or simular wood box with is then placed in the display coffen you see, that is burnt and the display coffin is re-used.

At lest with being buried you get a desent coffin.


And how much do they charge for the cheapest 'display' coffin? And does the customer know it's not going to be burnt? Sorry, not meaning to imply you're a funereal expert. Laughing
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Clanger
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PostPosted: 19:47 - 21 Jul 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
A cardboard box for me (after the docs have taken anything they need), then cremation, then scrape up the remains, and fling me into the heathers along a nice deserted Scottish road. Thumbs Up
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GhostRider
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PostPosted: 20:21 - 21 Jul 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Hetzer wrote:
A cardboard box would do for me. But those funereal fuckers won't provide them, there's too little profit in it for the greedy cunts. £2500 was the cheapest possible price my mate's family could get for his send-off, money they could ill-afford. And for what...a cheap box worth about £25 and a lift to the crematoria. And I bet they don't burn the box either, they take the body out and chuck it into the oven and take the box away with them.


I remember watching an episode of Penn and Tellers "Bullshit" where they covered this kind of thing. The blood sucking arseholes also use names such as the "eternal love" package as a means of psychologically guilting the family into buying the more expensive stuff.

Is there any actual law to say that my useless corpse can not be collected by my family and thrown into a MDF box of their construction. This can then be strapped to the roof rack of a car and my family can drive me there and do all the hoo haa.

In fact, bollocks, to cut to the chase just hire the furnace for a few hours and bung me straight in there. I won't give a shit cuz I'll be dead.

Quote:

Guess they must have a powerful parliamentary lobby, just like insurance companies and banks. And Tescos.


It'd make sense wouldn't it, people die all day every day, so it's not like business is ever slow, and at £2500 for the cheapest (and no doubt some people end up paying far more than that) they must be absolutely rolling in it.

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Scouse
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PostPosted: 20:27 - 21 Jul 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
GhostRider wrote:
stuff


Nice sig Laughing
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Dragonfly
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PostPosted: 22:33 - 21 Jul 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Hetzer wrote:
A cardboard box would do for me. But those funereal fuckers won't provide them, there's too little profit in it for the greedy cunts. £2500 was the cheapest possible price my mate's family could get for his send-off, money they could ill-afford. And for what...a cheap box worth about £25 and a lift to the crematoria. And I bet they don't burn the box either, they take the body out and chuck it into the oven and take the box away with them.

Funeral directors should be subject to legislation. And why not, everything else is. Guess they must have a powerful parliamentary lobby, just like insurance companies and banks. And Tescos.


I was going to ask for a box I resent someone having to pay a stupid amount to burn it or bury someone in it , its just stupid. Imagine paying 2k for a box thats going to be burnt, and as you say i bet they dont burn the box.

I just want someone to make sure I am dead as I dont want to be buried alive.
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Stelmer
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PostPosted: 22:36 - 21 Jul 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
I'd like a transparent box for everyone to say goodbye personally
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dgo1212
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PostPosted: 23:51 - 21 Jul 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
So what would happen if when i die,after the post mortem and all that my family say "wtf do we want with a dead body,you can keep it".Surely they wont keep me forever,and if nobody is willing to pay for a funeral what would they do?
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damz
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PostPosted: 01:56 - 22 Jul 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
dgo1212 wrote:
So what would happen if when i die,after the post mortem and all that my family say "wtf do we want with a dead body,you can keep it".Surely they wont keep me forever,and if nobody is willing to pay for a funeral what would they do?


they use your body for science lessons and medicine at uni to disect.
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