April Fools

[CptBlack]

Seen the first of the day so far, from my insurers, Swinton, sent me an email about insurance for close encounters from aliens. Links to here

Waiting for the BBC's to come up - thought it might be the sorcerer in Saudi Arabia, but that seems a little too serious. Then possibly the pet shop owner who got done for selling a goldfish to an underage boy, but that was yesterday.

What have you seen/heard/done today?

[MonkeyKnuckle]

[killa]

What can i do over a text?
Im stuck in work all this morning.
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Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Bike:- Yamaha TRX850 | Killas Biking History | Killas Gaming History | Killas autmotive history

[CptBlack]

[GhostRider]

I'm supposed to be in scotland this weekend with 2 mates. I woke up to find a text message on my phone this morning from one of them saying they would have to drop out because their washing machine had flooded theirs and downstairs flat, so all the money they have spare needs to go towards that.

I have no idea if this is a joke or not yet, but just to be sure I told them that luckily I managed to cancel our hotel booking in time without being charged, so that if they then turn round and say it was a joke, then I've got the upper hand.

If however they are serious, well, fuck.

GhostRider
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I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

[Stelmer]

Neighbour got himself this morning.

Last night I noticed he had driven home on a flat tyre, neighbour notices this morning, looks and kicks tyre but drives away anyhow.

15 mins later neighbour comes back with a rather flat and partly shredded front tyre. PWNED.

30 mins later AA come to change tyre...on a scooter. His spare is flat too LMAO.


Some people.......if he drove to Kwik Fit and got money out, this would not have happened. He is a rich doctor and drives a P reg Volvo, wife has Merc SLK.

[chris-red]

https://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2010/apr/01/labour-gordon-brown-hard-man


This is brilliant

'One tactic being discussed involves provoking a physical confrontation at one of the three ground-breaking TV debates between the candidates. In this scenario, Brown, instead of responding to a point made by Cameron, would walk over from his microphone with an exaggerated silent display of self-control, bring his face to within an inch of the Tory leader's, and in a subdued voice, ask "what did you just say?", before delivering a single well-aimed blow to his opponent's face, followed by a headlock if required.

The bloodied and bruised Cameron could then be whisked to a nearby hospital, where a previously briefed team of doctors and nurses would demonstrate the efficiency and compassion of the NHS under a Labour government.'
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Well, you know what they say. If you want to save the world, you have to push a few old ladies down the stairs.
Skudd:- Perhaps she just thinks you are a window licker and is being nice just in case she becomes another Jill Dando.
WANTED:- Fujinon (Fuji) M42 (Screw on) lenses, let me know if you have anything.

[Visitor Q]

[MarkJ]

Sally Beaver Loverjoy

[CptBlack]

[Mrs Kickstart]

Hi
I quite like this one in the independant

Regards
C
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Help fight the safety camera partnerships -- www.pepipoo.com

[CptBlack]

I love this one:

[Ste]

Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he's from the future