Christmas presents...

[JonB]

What is the last thing a Scottish epileptic is going to want for Christmas?
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A Wii Fit.
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Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it?s worth.

[Ariel Badger]

What is the last thing a boy scout wants as a present from his scout master?














itouch.
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Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[lostboy]

what sort of present is waxy looking and doesn't fit?
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A dead epileptic
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Never invite a vampire into your house you silly boy!

[Ste]

BCF politically correct Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Twelve pakis smelling
Eleven rapists raping
Ten kids a-missing
Nine muslims bombing
Eight yanks a-munching
Seven dwarves a-shrinking
Six coons a-stealing
Five ruined rings
Four reposts
Three beaten wives
Two towers down
And a paedo in a playground

[lostboy]

"T'was the night before christmas,
And all through the house,
Nothing dare move,
Not even a mouse,
No cos If you do I blow you all to pieces in the name of Allah"

Dashing through the snow
On a bender the whole day
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Bells on which we drink
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to laugh and sing
A fucked up song tonight

Oh, drinking bells, drinking bells
drinking all the day
Oh, what fun it is to be pissed
On a one lane carriage way-ay
Drinking bells, drinking bells
drinking all the day
Who, gives a shit if you kill a kid
On a one lane carriage way

A day or two ago
I thought I'd take a ride
And soon Miss Fanny Bright
Was seated by my backside
the bike had a full tank
Misfortune seemed my lot
We got into a drifted bank
And then off the bike we shot

Oh, drinking bells, drinking bells
Drinking the whole day
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one lane carriage way-ay
Drinking bells, drinking bells
Drinking the whole day
Oh, what fun it is to ride
then crash an walk away

Drinking bells, drinking bells
Drinking the whole day
Then go home give the wife the ride
From night time 'til its day-ay
Drinking bells, drinking bells
I don't know what I did
There's a bloke in my head with a jack ham-mer
And I woke in my own shit!
I__ woke___ in_ my_ own_ shit_______!
____________________
Never invite a vampire into your house you silly boy!