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slightly better pheasant story than allymoss

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Poseidon
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PostPosted: 14:47 - 17 Dec 2009    Post subject: slightly better pheasant story than allymoss Reply with quote
So after having a set to with the stresshead I have to work with, I was driving home in a somewhat aggressive manner. I came round a blind bend near my house, nsl road and not a sharp bend, just poor vis round it... I'm doing 60(ish) and just as I stick my foot down to attack the straight that follows the bend "WHAM"...

A pheasant had chosen that very moment to fly out of the trees at about 2 foot off the ground and it hits right on the curve of my bonnet! Ok... I will admit that It startled me and my bum cheeks clenched a little. I looked in the rear view mirror to see what had become of said pheasant, but he wasn't there! after about what felt like 6 seconds (probably only 3) I saw a spinning mass in the rear view mirror hit the ground. It was going at some serious rpm and looked like it spread itself out over a wide area on touchdown.

I would've been really pissed off as I knew it had caused some damage to the car, but it was so comical to see! I thought things only span like that in cartoons!

Here's the crappy paint pics as per bcf tradition... Will get pics of the smashed grill and pheasant arse shaped dent in my bonnet and post them up in a bit

Drew

https://i701.photobucket.com/albums/ww11/drewie3000/pheasant1.jpg
https://i701.photobucket.com/albums/ww11/drewie3000/pheasant2.jpg
pics not to scale!
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Poseidon
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PostPosted: 15:22 - 17 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Pics of the damage:

Damage to the bonnet and grill
https://i701.photobucket.com/albums/ww11/drewie3000/IMG_3189.jpg
https://i701.photobucket.com/albums/ww11/drewie3000/IMG_3188.jpg

From underneath you can see how out of shape the left side side is compared to the right
https://i701.photobucket.com/albums/ww11/drewie3000/IMG_3190.jpg
https://i701.photobucket.com/albums/ww11/drewie3000/IMG_3191.jpg
https://i701.photobucket.com/albums/ww11/drewie3000/IMG_3192.jpg
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Skudd
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PostPosted: 15:29 - 17 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
No feathers?
Sounds like it was all made up in true BCF style.
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Poseidon
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PostPosted: 15:32 - 17 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
why on earth would I make that up?
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ms51ves3
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PostPosted: 15:42 - 17 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Mister Drewie wrote:
why on earth would I make that up?


Because in reality, you hit a child picking up a football, then drove off and cleaned the blood off your car.

You sicko.
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Poseidon
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PostPosted: 16:07 - 17 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
ms51ves3 wrote:
Because in reality, you hit a child picking up a football, then drove off and cleaned the blood off your car.

You sicko.

Laughing
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pa_broon74
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PostPosted: 16:07 - 17 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
This is really very strange.

I was sitting on a wall enjoying a slimline cigar before getting into my nice Mercedes car, (I prefer not to smog it up, some say it's small but I think it has class.) I had also just done some shopping after playing the part of Compo for the local amdram society. I was still in costume which may have explained the strange look I got from a young effeminate man I saw going into the local shop.

Anyway, I pulled away and noticed the same young man following me, I must admit, being involved in the amdram society I can spot a fruit, I was going to pull over at a well known lay-by to see if he'd follow when all of a sudden a golden eagle hit the side of my car!

Well, I can tell you, I don't think I've ever had a fright so large, at least not since I discovered the thrill of Cheshires' finer public conveniences. I veered across the road and came to rest on the opposite side.

No sooner had I extricated myself from my mercedes but the nice young man had stopped to enquire after my health. When I spoke, he seemed surprised, I put this down to him possibly having similar feelings for me as I had for him. Unfortunately, before I could take advantage (ahem) of the situation the emergency services arrived.

Still, I can always get his number from the Police... And the Golden Eagle was simply delish!

Wink
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The Artist
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PostPosted: 16:14 - 17 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
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Poseidon
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PostPosted: 16:15 - 17 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Anyways... back to my car...

I can't decide between getting a panel beater to knock the dent out (if thats possible given the location of the dent and the curvature of the bonnet) and replacing the grill, which will be £15 for the grill plus the cost of a dint doc... or just buying a new bonnet with grills from a breakers for about £100
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Skudd
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PostPosted: 16:54 - 17 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Pheasant, todays news paper and your G/F nude in the picture, or it didn't happen.
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Poseidon
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PostPosted: 17:02 - 17 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Skudd wrote:
Pheasant, todays news paper and your G/F nude in the picture, or it didn't happen.

bollocks to that... I aint going out there again tonight! it's bloody freezing! and i'm not going to stand in the middle of a nsl B-road in the dark, on a blind bend taking pics of a dead bird!

I can do a pic of this thread next to the dent and a pic of my dog if you want!
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Dragonfly
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PostPosted: 17:07 - 17 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
I am getting worried about these recent pheasant attacks, I hope it doesnt catch on. Thinking I still think my ending to the story was better,"The pheasant massacre". Well the pheasants where ok people where impaled.
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GhostRider
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PostPosted: 17:49 - 17 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Mister Drewie wrote:
Skudd wrote:
Pheasant, todays news paper and your G/F nude in the picture, or it didn't happen.


bollocks to that... I aint going out there again tonight! it's bloody freezing! and i'm not going to stand in the middle of a nsl B-road in the dark, on a blind bend taking pics of a dead bird!


No need to kill your missus, just a bit of bappage is all skudd was after I'm sure.....

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Poseidon
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PostPosted: 18:22 - 17 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
dragonfly wrote:
I am getting worried about these recent pheasant attacks, I hope it doesnt catch on. Thinking I still think my ending to the story was better,"The pheasant massacre". Well the pheasants where ok people where impaled.

To be fair I live on a shooting estate. Every year they release thousands of the little bastards and I've flattened 3 so far, although this was the first one to cause any damage to my car.

GhostRider wrote:
No need to kill your missus, just a bit of bappage is all skudd was after I'm sure.....

GhostRider

I'm sure skudd can get his own bappage!
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Skudd
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PostPosted: 19:13 - 17 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Mister Drewie wrote:

I'm sure skudd can get his own bappage!


No I can't Embarassed
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MaybeGuy
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PostPosted: 19:54 - 17 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
get a claim in.
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Blue_SV650S wrote: it was a sh1te wheelie, but it proves that he can get it up in 3rd and can do angles. In summery, mattsprattuk is a gobby little sh1tebag, dopehead tw4t, but sadly for all of us, he probably isn't THAT full of sh1te!! Mr. Green
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Shreddie
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PostPosted: 12:22 - 18 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Skudd wrote:
Mister Drewie wrote:

I'm sure skudd can get his own bappage!


No I can't Embarassed

mattsprattuk wrote:
get a claim in.

Where can you claim bappage from?! I'd quite like some too!
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Poseidon
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PostPosted: 14:40 - 18 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
mattsprattuk wrote:
get a claim in.


Whats the point? Insurance is £100 excess (plus loaded premiums from then on) whereas a new bonnet (grills included) with delivery in the same colour (codes match) is £115. I can't claim on the pheasants insurance as he didn't have any (already checked ask MID). Unless you mean claim from the estate who are the people who release the plague of feathery things every year... Which happens to be the same estate who are my landlords, so I don't think thats a great idea either!
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dextersaurus
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PostPosted: 16:14 - 18 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
I had the same thing a couple months ago when i was coming home on the bike. a pheasant flew out towards me and hit my left shoulder.

Nothing happened, i was fine, pheasant was killed by the lorry behind me.

It's all good.

If it wasn't squashed i would have taken it home.

Dunc
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pa_broon74
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PostPosted: 16:29 - 18 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
mattsprattuk wrote:
get a claim in.


Indeed.

Phone one of those no win no fee places, when they start asking questions just wing it, if it means being able to claw back some money to feather your nest; why not.

Make sure and not lie outright though, you'll end up in front of the Beak... That'll put you into a tailspin...

Ummm... With the money you might get some 'bappage' from all the chick's you'd be able to pull, well, if you're going to make an omelette, you need to crack a few eggs right?

Eh...

Nope, thats all I've got.

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Poseidon
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PostPosted: 19:40 - 18 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
pa_broon74 wrote:

Indeed.

Phone one of those no win no fee places, when they start asking questions just wing it, if it means being able to claw back some money to feather your nest; why not.

Make sure and not lie outright though, you'll end up in front of the Beak... That'll put you into a tailspin...

Ummm... With the money you might get some 'bappage' from all the chick's you'd be able to pull, well, if you're going to make an omelette, you need to crack a few eggs right?

Eh...

Nope, thats all I've got.

Thumbs Up

The other post was funnier
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Paivi
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PostPosted: 20:09 - 18 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
I take it you stopped the car and returned to the pheasant to (a) see if it was in need of euthanasia and (b) move it to the verge from the middle of the road where it could be a hazard for, say, a biker?

Or were you more concerned about a dent in your car, and you drove home aggressively again, in case the said dent got any worse?
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Poseidon
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PostPosted: 15:13 - 19 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
Paivi wrote:
I take it you stopped the car and returned to the pheasant to (a) see if it was in need of euthanasia and (b) move it to the verge from the middle of the road where it could be a hazard for, say, a biker?

Or were you more concerned about a dent in your car, and you drove home aggressively again, in case the said dent got any worse?


The pheasant was definately dead... so no need for a mercy killing. Also considering it was just after a blind bend, on a road with no verges (barely enough room for cars to pass side by side) and a 60mph limit... I think a megane abandoned in the middle of the road whilst it's owner is inspecting a dead bird might just pose a slightly higher risk to bikers (and possibly other road users come to think of it) than a flat bit of road-kill.

I certainly wasn't more worried about another dent on a 10year old car... hence why I'm considering the cheaper option of getting the dent knocked out when a new bonnet is a mere ton! Oh and I'm assuming your not a car owner. If you were you'd know that dents tend not to get too much worse over time, unless of course another impact occurs.

Thanks for your condescension concern though Thumbs Up

Just as an aside... I've hit many a bit of roadkill whilst on the bike and not had any problems so far. And given the fact it's a shooting estate there's enough live ones around to pose more of a threat to bikers than the dead ones. The bikers around these parts know the problems pheasants cause (not that there's that many bikers... if any at all this time of year) and so consequently take exrteme care when going around the many blind bends on the road in question. Not that you'd have to be a local to know that you should always take extreme care going around blind bends on a bike anyways beacause lets face it... It's just good road sense!
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Skudd
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PostPosted: 16:26 - 19 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
So you are telling us, but I still haven't seen any feathers or tits.
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Poseidon
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PostPosted: 16:36 - 19 Dec 2009    Post subject: Reply with quote
I actually thought of you this morning skudd! I was topping up the screen wash at work and found a feather in the little hole that the bonnet prop goes into! Was gonna take a picture but couldn't be arsed. And I'm not showing you my wife's tits! Are you sure I can't tempt you into a picture of my dog?
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Old Thread Alert!

The last post was made 16 years, 14 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful?
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