Odd Jobs

[Ariel Badger]

Not like a bit of plumbing but weird work you have done.
My top three were.....

repairing a high pressure sewage line in Dabuka Zimbabee, we used to get a good bonus for it and plastered in pyss and shyt.

Pimping a whore for a few weeks in Bulawayo Zimbabwe.

Then I ran a couple of male strippers to help a mate out in Brum.
I just collected the money at the club/pub and made sure the show went right. The first part was soft with stripping to music, then the boys had a break and a drag queen went on after that we had a drinks break before the second part of the lad's act which was hard with participation and BJs.
The lads were gay and had trouble getting it up knowing that there were a lot of slappers in the audience that were dying for cock. many is the time I sat in the dressing room whilst they tried firstly a vacuum pump then some fluffing from the queen to get wood. once up they would tie it in place with a leather boot lace.

I thought my three were good until yesterday when my friend George told me that when she was a stable girl she used to have to pick scabs off the horses cocks to stop flys laying eggs on them.
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Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[neil.]

Once did a freelance job for an advertising company that basically involved 10 of us going to different cinemas around the country and setting up a motion detecting camera in each, then the audience would come and watch the film and one of the trailers would be this multiplayer game that they controlled by their movements (leaning left/right to steer a car), so you had 10 audiences in 10 cinemas all playing against each other at the same time for a Volvo ad. I enjoyed it loads as I got to spend a lot of time with the projectionists and play with the gear which was awesome, plus they gave me a 35mm spool of a film trailer as a souvenir.
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CBT February 2008 | A2 June 2008 | Yamaha YBR125 (written off) | Honda CBF125 (current)

[silky666]

[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

Whats that you say silks ...no sex?

Pat
hung like a horse, but scab free
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[growler]

used to paint electricity pylons
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DILLIGAF

[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

Nothing so cool as neil.s.
Or as errr. Different as Mr Badgers.

Digging huge pits by hand and filling them with animal parts on a defunkt farm (Biding my time before running mainframes at ICI)

Telephone sales job and sending rude poems to girls (Got sack...A Father opened mail and was disgusted)

Laying lino for ladies who would save me their dock ends.

Painting old folks home and not lasting long as the old dears would pour paint over themselves whilst i was emulsioning.


Pat
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[steveh]

helped my mate shift a couple of bodys (he works in the morge)
Didnt bother me really.
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Current : 06 Zx10r, 07 Wr450f SM, 74 850 norton commando, 63 bsa b40, 1962 Triton 650, 67 Triumph Tr6r, 1955 Triton 750, 1978 TY250E.

[hellkat]

[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

^^^He won't be happy until he has 3 proper blobs to match the paintjob on his bike...Yeah he is a tart.

Pat
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[Ariel Badger]

[Redoko]

I want a at least one Goldie before I swear again.
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"Let's face it, this is not the worst thing you've caught me doing."
Sudika Sportsman SK50QT > Gilera DNA50 > Honda CBR125 RW7 > Kawasaki Zephyr750 > Suzuki GSXR600 > Honda Hornet CB600F '51

[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

RE: Blob-gate I deserved my pennance, you didn't.

[The999Kid]

I used to go round the local estate putting up flat pack furniture for people... was quite a dab hand at assembling that lot... and was told many i time i massively undercharged for what i did. Still, i enjoyed it and it took up my time when i could have been out causing mischief.

I also used to babysit my neighbours young kids when they go out for the night...

Used to rent myself a few films from blockbuster, and a few bags of sweets and ask them to refund me the cost. Used to be in quite high demand aswell
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NDB 19/10/1989 - 1/11/2010 |Nowhere.Elyseum wrote: I get the distinct feeling that Tim should be our secret weapon for future trolling. I don't know many people that can rip the piss in Iambic pentameter

[Ariel Badger]

I was sucking said nipple at the time in an attempt to get wood, the blackhead did not help.
As for the ballet dancer, I was supposed to be meeting a jazz musician in a bar that the last time I had visited was straight, it seems that in intervening months it had crossed over. As the Royal Ballet were in it gave it a bit of a gay feel but I was interested in a couple of the girls from the core de ballet and they were playing with my nipple piercings when one of the male principles joined in How he actually calculated £160 I do not know but at least I am aware of my market value although it may be subject to depreciation.
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Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[hellkat]

Could you not have sucked the other nipple to get wood, instead of the blackhead one?


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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Ariel Badger]

[Visitor Q]

Most surreal was probably carrying 100kg turtles through a 'people' doctors surgery to get an Xray.

That got some odd looks.

Have turned up for an agency job strimming central reservations at 9 am, and by 9.05 they guy had me rolling his joints for him

And by most peoples books, the whole 7 months working as a Sterile Services Technician was definitely far from normal. I can identify an operation by the unique smell the tray comes back with, and I can promise you the emergency C sections come back looking dire. Picking lumps of bone/marrow out of drill bits was actually pretty fun. Although I found my line at the diseased phlegm left in the laryngeal masks
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China traffic/travel bike vid - When I make a sweeping statement, please add the word 'statistically' in to the sentence before you bitch...
From September 2014 to January/February 2015 I will not be using any English, nor reading any. As such, I won't be on here. PM at will, but I won't be checking/posting unless in emergencies. Certainly not for the first couple of months. Please berate me savagely if I break that rule...

[yen_powell]

I was once sent to a job interview for the position of 'Truss Estimator'.

I didn't get the job. Turns out I needn't have taken my gloves and antibac handwipes, it was something to do with roofs.
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Blackmail is a nasty word........but not as nasty as phlegm!
XT1200Z and a DR350 in bits

[SlimRick]

I had to run a comms link through a 350m sewage system for a covert policing op in Bangor - not too pleasant.

[pa_broon74]

In a moment of desperation...

I responded to one of those dodgy ads you just know aren't going to be up to much. "12 Sales and Marketing Managers required for fast growing international promotions company! £50,000,000,000 OTE plus bonus."

It's actually for those people you see going around small town high streets with large hold-all bags filled with shit items you'd normally find in Poundstretchers. They can't sell on the street straight to punters so they go into shops and try and sell to staff using the shops selling permit or some such thing, I didn't understand it fully.

It was very strange. You were expected to turn up at 7:30am for an hour and a half (yup 1.5 hours) of motivational activities (running around an empty room like a shower of daft twats) then at 9am it was off out to Perth or Bathgate to sell crap to unsuspecting and unresponsive shop staff.

I did it for half a day. I still remember this chinese guy during the completely stupid 'training' in the morning. They had this thing called a 'helicopter sale' some sort of multiplier bonus if you sold 3 pieces of tat in a row. This guy started doing his best impression of a helicopter flying around the room: totally brain washed yet he looked intelligent and normal.

I was also a private investigator for 9 months, but I was young an naive so a bit shit at it.


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Didn't catch anything.

[Mr Hammers]

[pa_broon74]

[Ariel Badger]

I spent a time at the pressure gauge division of Smiths Industries. One very precise low pressure device consisted of a gauge, a rubber bulb hand pump and a bit of tube that you could attach a disposable latex bladder to. The bladder would be inserted into a vagina and pumped up to a given pressure, and at this point the lady would squeeze and a reading was taken. They were of course for the medical market but we referred to them as British standard cynt gauges.
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Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[SoND]

I whitewashed some trees in Albania.
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Go back to bed - You have no rights - "Streetfighters ~ Mainstream motorcycling's crackwhore sister."

[SpicyBlimp]

Trying to sell this (the one on the left) in Hitachinaka

https://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b98/Iain007/P1010705.jpg