Asperger syndrone

[J0Al1]

My son has a friend who is slightly different.

I've always suspected he has a form of Asperger syndrome.

He is obsessed with bugs and sea creatures and will just disappear into the middle of a pond to look for them if your not careful.

Anyway, for the last 18 months my son has played nicely with him and joined in the bug hunting shenanigans. This kid upturns everything in your garden to find what he is looking for and has even rooted through Cow Pats to find something special (not that I have cow pat in my garden). It's hard work!

I was recently informed by the childs Mum that, this kid is being tested for Asperger and ADHD, so I was right.

Now, this is something I know very little about, other that what I've observed from this child.

Today, I took him and my son out for a bike ride and this child was on the wrong side of the road most of the time. I quite clearly and concisely asked/told him to move over and explain why.... Its completely ignored. I felt slightly concerned that he could end up hurt and that would be awful.

Most parents battle manners. You have to keep on and keep on correcting you kids until its drummed in.

I've had a fair few other kids to play, whos parents will tell me are little bleeps, but they are absolute delights when they come around here (as most kids are with other peoples parents).

My question is (an ignorant one I'm sure), should you expect the child to have good manners?

No please, no thank-you, he just 'fucks off' 1/2 way through dinner, tells me he wants a sweet etc......

Is it all part of the lack of empathy/social awareness?

They are 6yrs btw

Just interested to here other peoples thoughts.

[ZRX61]

I wouldn't have any expections from someone with that going on, One of my college instructors suffered from it & was a fucking nightmare to deal with.

[AC]

why not ask his mum to advise what is his "normal" behaviour.

I know a couple of children with ADHD, one (most of the time) is an absolute star - have been away with him and his family for a week, very polite, can keep going for hours though - his parents have him signed up to gymnatistis, boxing, karate - things where they teach discipline and to be fair he is a credit to them. Dont get me wrong he can be a bugger when he hasnt had his meds or is overtired. The other child with adhd the parents just let him get away with murder using his adhd as an excuse.

I also know (through work) some adults with aspergers & others on the autistic spectrum. The range of behaviour, understanding and social skills is so vast you just have to be aware that they are on the spectrum and talk to the family's keyworkers etc to find out what are triggers and what to expect.

[GhostRider]

It's a very dense topic to discuss at length, but the short answer is that you should not expect him to have good manners if indeed he has aspergers syndrome, as there is a good chance he doesn't even understand or can't comprehend the concept of manners. That isn't to say he might not develop these at some point, but you should generally refrain from thinking he's being a little bastard on purpose as it isn't his fault.

I wouldn;t describe the condition as having lack of empathy either, it's more that it's there but is expressed differently as to how you or I would, or is only expressed rarely. The lack of social awareness is certainly there though, at times it's enviable, but probably not in the same manifestation as it occurs in people with AS.

GhostRider
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[Pie-Roe]

My sister has aspergers.

I don't want to get involved in a big discussion because many people are experts on the internet, and all cases are slightly differerent.

As a general rule though, people with the condition are usually a couple of years behind in certain degrees of maturity, and often will have no sense of danger.

Pyro
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[Clanger]

This behaviour is pretty 'normal' for autistic children.

They do not understand emotion, nor the sense of urgency, or sense of danger. They are very much in their own little world, and need constant guidance on everything. No matter how many times you've gone over and over and over.

Running off...is massively common too...so be aware at all times.

Their attention span is usually very short too, unless of course you can find something they are really into, and then you will find they can be seriously obsessive, and overly enthusiastic and will talk about it non-stop.

I think it's great this child has formed a friendship with your boy, autistic kids often are solitary creatures, either that or prefer the company of adults.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind - Dr. Seuss

[J0Al1]

[Clanger]

[J0Al1]

[ZRX61]

[Mac_Black]

[neatbik]

Or give me a shout for hints and tips on how to put up with one

(Love you really liam...)

[J0Al1]

This kid is in Y1 (junior)

Now, fortunatly, the teacher for Reception last year was the 'special needs' teacher and I thought she was smashing!

Now the child is in Y1, the teacher is a normal teacher (thats quite firm), but has recently been replaced with the sweetest little 'would not say boo to a goose' teacher, who seem to have zero control over this childt at all.

Ive always belived that kids should be treated the same. . .

But, one of the other Mums pointed out, that whilst this kid is off on his own playing lego in the corner, when he is supposed ot be sitting listening to the teacher...

Either the teacher is spending a lot of time trying to deal with this kid, therefore neglecting other children that also need attention, or this kid is left to 'be'..

IMHO neither is good.

My QU, should he be at this school which has as normal large classes?

[Mrs Kickstart]

Hi,

I think it would depend on the child how well he can be catered for in a main stream school, the education he would get in special school may not be better for him.

They do have to consider the whole class and the teacher should be having support to manage his behaviour . This can mean they need to pick the battles they need to win. the child cannot be expected to be the same. So maybe playing quitely with lego sometimes is the compromise ?

If you have concerns about the effect on your child speak to the teacher or head.

Regards
C
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[J0Al1]

Thanks C

No, I don't have concerns, my boy is doing fine.

I'm just interested.