Piggy in the Middle

YUN · Traffic Copper Joined: 08 Jan 2008 Karma :

I am very close to 2 girls at work. At the beginning, all three of us were like the musketeers. We did everything together, chatting and laughing, creating mischief everywhere we went.

But for a while now, my 2 friends haven't been the same with eachother. They've got to the stage of getting to know eachother so much, they've realised they don't actually like eachother. They both find eachother really annoying etc etc.

I am still close to both and don't have any problems with either of them but both of them secretly can't stand each other. It has even got to a point where I feel awkward to have lunch with 1 person (the other won't want to join) and all I hear is them bitching about eachother. Evil or Very Mad

This is SO pathetic...reminds me of school days! Tis why I don't have many female friends....I just can't stand the bitching and mind games.
I've spoken to both of them about it, told them to 'man the fuck up' and sort out their problems as I don't want to hear them bitching about eachother.
They both do the whole polite greeting and go on their way but nothing has improved.

Any advice?
____________________
Meet the team that will win, Blade, Razor, Blazer and my personal assistant, Michelle and from Romanovia - Fran Stalinovskovichdavidovitchsky
~ * CBT - 13/01/08 --> Theory 24/05/08 --> Squished by lorries, brand new CBR125(2000miles) write-off 04/06/06 --> DAS booked 02-04/08/08 * --> DAS passed 05/08/08 * --> VFR400 (aka 'Mike') ~

J0Al1 · World Chat Champion Joined: 25 Nov 2006 Karma :

Hey,

This has been my role on many occasions, I am always the one in middle. Mainly because I don't like argunments and I like everyone unless they give me reason not too.

At school, two freinds had a fall out. One of them asked me if what they heard from the other was true, I said, 'yes', she did not speak to me for a year....

Now, I'd not done any shit spreading, just confirmed the truth, yet got punished for it. I'll never foget that.

Even now, in the school grounds there are Mums that disslike eachother and there is little 'unbalanced' me in my flat shoes liking both of them and happy to have both their sons aruond for tea.

My advise is, try and stay neautral, 'listen' but don't cast opinions. It's sad, but if they really disslike eachother you can't trust them with any info you give.

Fawbish · World Chat Champion Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Karma :

Clanger · Stirrer Joined: 27 May 2004 Karma :

Tell them they are both being silly, childish, but you love them both, and if they can't say anything decent about each other to you, then you'd rather than didn't say anything at all.

Maybe by you taking the moral high ground on their behaviour they will stop bitching.

But you have to mean it. You have to stop them, mid sentence, because it is likely to take a while to sink in/stop. Very Happy

____________________
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind - Dr. Seuss

YUN · Traffic Copper Joined: 08 Jan 2008 Karma :

I actually have stopped them mid-sentence to tell them to STFU about bitching.

A swift punch to the tits is probably gonna work better me thinks.
____________________
Meet the team that will win, Blade, Razor, Blazer and my personal assistant, Michelle and from Romanovia - Fran Stalinovskovichdavidovitchsky
~ * CBT - 13/01/08 --> Theory 24/05/08 --> Squished by lorries, brand new CBR125(2000miles) write-off 04/06/06 --> DAS booked 02-04/08/08 * --> DAS passed 05/08/08 * --> VFR400 (aka 'Mike') ~

Devils Advocate · World Chat Champion Joined: 18 Apr 2009 Karma :

Advice?Yes.
Keep work colleagues as work colleagues and never mix business with pleasure. Wink

Your response of 'man the fuck up and leave me out of it' is probably what i would've said too.What more can you say?
It's their problem not yours so leave them to it and just do your job.If they want to re-establish a friendship they will, if they don't, they wont.If you get sick of them bitching and they start dragging you down the easy solution is to tell them both to fuck off. Mr. Green

Friendships at work are seriously over-rated.I never get involved in all that tosh these days because 9/10 it goes pear shaped and compromises the work environment.
Nothing worse than going into work everyday and being forced to work alongside people you've got serious issues with.If you keep things professional instead of personal, its easier to cope with and doesnt get as messy Thumbs Up

Fawbish · World Chat Champion Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Karma :

Devils Advocate · World Chat Champion Joined: 18 Apr 2009 Karma :

Clanger · Stirrer Joined: 27 May 2004 Karma :

I agree with Max...I usually have good 'at work relationships' with people I work with, but keep them as colleagues only. I very rarely/if ever socialise with them. Neutral

But then different folk have different dynamics...not saying what I believe is right or wrong, it just works for me. Thumbs Up

____________________
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind - Dr. Seuss

J0Al1 · World Chat Champion Joined: 25 Nov 2006 Karma :

SlimRick · World Chat Champion Joined: 29 Sep 2008 Karma :

https://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w113/jackb2302/HarryHill_fight-1.jpg

Kal · World Chat Champion Joined: 02 Jan 2007 Karma :

I am surprised and impressed... YUN posts a topic with the title piggy in the middle and doen't get the usual testostrone responses.

Personally I don't require my friends to like eachother, as long as they respect my choicce to be friends with both of them when they fall out.
____________________
Kal...
I Like To Hoon It Hoon It I Like To Hoon It Hoon It I Like To Hoon It Hoon It Ya Like To (HOON IT!).
1984 GB250 Clubman,1983 CB250N Superdream, 1999 GPZ500S