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Ariel Badger
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Joined: 02 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: 21:14 - 04 May 2010    Post subject: Porn Reply with quote

Porno vids are only there for one thing, they are not to educate, inform, inspire thought or provoke, they are not to challenge the way we perceive the world and they are not to put us into emotional turmoil, they are made to toss off to.
Now that we have firmly established the reason d'etre of the oeuvre what for you makes the perfect porn film?
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.....
Quote Me Happy



Joined: 15 Jan 2005
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PostPosted: 21:17 - 04 May 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote

Midgets and poo.

Here comes Ste....
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Mudskipper
World Chat Champion



Joined: 22 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: 21:25 - 04 May 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cum shots and real ale.
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silky666
Captain Rulebook



Joined: 28 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: 21:27 - 04 May 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lactation and vacuum pumps ... I will fill in for Ste while he is away.
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neil.
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PostPosted: 21:28 - 04 May 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote

Participants must be over the age of 85.
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B10Hazard
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Joined: 29 Jan 2009
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PostPosted: 21:51 - 04 May 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote

FAT PEOPLE.
PAT PEOPLE AND MANY SPROUTS.

NAh errrmm
Fucks knows.
I said up there what i think i may have said stoned if that qestion were to come my way.

Cusim high now Cool
But serious now, i like to see girls clothed before hand. I dont know why. Its like you see how you see girls in real life, its not like your cruising down the road and see a girl bent over begging for cum is it. You see an nice arse in some tight jeans, now when you see this all you then want to see is them bent over begging for cum Laughing
Or reality amature stuff Thumbs Up
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Raffles
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Joined: 14 Apr 2009
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PostPosted: 21:51 - 04 May 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote

When watching porn vids. there's nothing that I like to see more than posh birds behaving like whores. It reminds me of all of the upper class totty that have writhed in ecstasy whilst enjoying my manly affections Razz
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Ste
Not Work Safe



Joined: 01 Sep 2002
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PostPosted: 21:55 - 04 May 2010    Post subject: Re: Porn Reply with quote

It would follow this story line...

https://www.stedotcom.com/stuff/gifs/p-story/3.gif
https://www.stedotcom.com/stuff/gifs/p-story/5.jpg
https://www.stedotcom.com/stuff/gifs/p-story/6.gif
https://www.stedotcom.com/stuff/gifs/p-story/7.jpg
https://www.stedotcom.com/stuff/gifs/p-story/8.jpg
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That_Hornet
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Joined: 23 Apr 2009
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PostPosted: 21:57 - 04 May 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote

Anyone else been really disappointed with the quality of porn recently.

Folded arms
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Ariel Badger
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Joined: 02 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: 22:14 - 04 May 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote

After Ste's contribution I feel that I should flag this thread as NSFW but in all honesty if you are in the office and click on a thread on a forum called "Porn" you deserve all that happens to you.
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Last edited by Ariel Badger on 22:15 - 04 May 2010; edited 1 time in total
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B10Hazard
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Joined: 29 Jan 2009
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PostPosted: 22:14 - 04 May 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes Laughing
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DrDonnyBrago
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Joined: 03 Jan 2010
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PostPosted: 22:54 - 04 May 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7187027/Polish-newspaper-claims-Pedobear-is-2010-Vancouver-Olympic-mascot.html

Pedobear the olympic mascot
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gary.glitter
Nova Slayer



Joined: 29 Aug 2008
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PostPosted: 05:37 - 05 May 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote

All participants must be over the age of 18 and use only the missionary position for the act of procreation.
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Bubbs
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Joined: 28 May 2009
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PostPosted: 07:36 - 05 May 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is floating my boat ATM: https://www.youjizz.com/videos/molly-cavalli-and-meilani-197580.html
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killa
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Joined: 18 Oct 2004
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PostPosted: 08:30 - 05 May 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote

The perfect porn film
For me it has to be as real as it can be without being bland.
Lesbian scenes don’t do it for me, two girls paid a bucket load to pretend to like strap-ons and licking ass is not my thing.
It’s got to be man on girl action, I don’t take much notice of what the blokes doing but it he has to be adequate for the job i.e. not 20 stone with a beard.
They’ve got to look like they’re making love not making money. All those fake rolling eyes and increasing levels of noise during each clip is just a turn off.
Classic believable scenes are good like
‘Oh my car broke down, oh you fixed it?...here…taste this’
Or…
‘Officer I was late for work, maybe we could forget the fine if you forget your wife’ Laughing

I don’t find the skinny girls attractive, naked they look like young boys. It’s all about the healthy looking ladies.
Finally, NO MUSIC. God what Americans deem good porn soundtrack is fucking hilarious.
Ones to watch, Velicity Von, Alexis Texas, Katya Kassin, Olivia O’lovely, Rita Foltanyno
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GhostRider
World Chat Champion



Joined: 31 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: 13:28 - 05 May 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote

killa wrote:

They’ve got to look like they’re making love


What kind of grot flicks are you watching? Then again, nothing says "I love you" quite like 3 hung black men exploding jizz into some young girls face.

Lmao, making love, christ you might as well spy on your parents Wink

GhostRider
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killa
Won't Shut Up



Joined: 18 Oct 2004
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PostPosted: 13:52 - 05 May 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote

Amateur porn all the way then.
I don't know what you’d call it….’good acting?’
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dextersaurus
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PostPosted: 16:30 - 05 May 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't find the time to watch porn anymore, as i spend more or less all my free time with the girlfriend.

Failing that, youporn is always a good bet for amateur stuff.

Dunc
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lllN30lll
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Joined: 12 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: 16:34 - 05 May 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ass to mouth.
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SoND
World Chat Champion



Joined: 10 Jul 2005
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PostPosted: 17:07 - 05 May 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v612/SoND/sarah-palin.jpg?t=1273079159

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v612/SoND/portal-cake.jpg

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v612/SoND/ron-jeremy.jpg

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v612/SoND/4c09f21a-ee55-4932-8be1-ffb6a5daca1.jpg

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v612/SoND/SPAS_12_Fixed_Stock_and_Folding_Sto.jpg

https://www.bikechatforums.com/files/013_726.jpg

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v612/SoND/wank4az.gif
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Ariel Badger
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Joined: 02 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: 17:10 - 05 May 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote

killa wrote:
The perfect porn film
For me it has to be as real as it can be without being bland.
Lesbian scenes don’t do it for me, two girls paid a bucket load to pretend to like strap-ons and licking ass is not my thing.
It’s got to be man on girl action, I don’t take much notice of what the blokes doing but it he has to be adequate for the job i.e. not 20 stone with a beard.
They’ve got to look like they’re making love not making money. All those fake rolling eyes and increasing levels of noise during each clip is just a turn off.
Classic believable scenes are good like
‘Oh my car broke down, oh you fixed it?...here…taste this’
Or…
‘Officer I was late for work, maybe we could forget the fine if you forget your wife’ Laughing

I don’t find the skinny girls attractive, naked they look like young boys. It’s all about the healthy looking ladies.
Finally, NO MUSIC. God what Americans deem good porn soundtrack is fucking hilarious.
Ones to watch, Velicity Von, Alexis Texas, Katya Kassin, Olivia O’lovely, Rita Foltanyno


I agree with most of the above but I do like a bit of girl on girl action but once the dildos come out I change channels.
As for porn music, in the 90s when I was in the business of promoting a modern jazz club we used to play porn films just to identify the soundtracks. They used some good tunes from the Brecker Brothers to Miles Davies.
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Ed Case
World Chat Champion



Joined: 01 Mar 2009
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PostPosted: 18:34 - 05 May 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote

It involves amputees and transexuals, there I've said it.
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