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Had my first off

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Hazylogic
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Joined: 22 Feb 2009
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PostPosted: 14:56 - 05 Jun 2010    Post subject: Had my first off Reply with quote
I just had my first off, going at least a million miles an hour. I was just coming back from Lidl getting my supersize toilet roll, when a cager, coming in the opposite direction, threw a box of aphids out his window at me and shouted: 'see you in hell cocksucker motherfucker!'

The aphids hit my tinted visor and caused me to spin out... but luckily I got mad skills, so I did a rock star tumble and shouted 'Aerosmith!' - this is my power word - and I was okay.

So I chased that cager down and did a wheelie past him and slapped his car wiv my dick twice and shouted. 'two wheels for the win!' Then I jumped a railway embankment and went home for a poo.
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wizzzard
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Joined: 29 Mar 2008
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PostPosted: 15:17 - 05 Jun 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote
Thats weird the exact same thing happened to me this morning.
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Moo.
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Joined: 11 Jan 2009
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PostPosted: 15:43 - 05 Jun 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote
I think this is a common occurance for people taking their morning dump..
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Faldo
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Joined: 05 Aug 2007
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PostPosted: 16:17 - 05 Jun 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote
Hmmm, think we need the obligatory MS Paint diagram to apportion the blame.
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neil.
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Joined: 24 Feb 2008
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PostPosted: 20:03 - 05 Jun 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote
https://rpnidev.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/1087039-riveting_tale_chap_super1.jpg
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Amelias plaything
Two Stroke Sniffer



Joined: 08 Jun 2010
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PostPosted: 11:06 - 09 Jun 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote
I have to say, I fair near wet myself when I read this Clapping
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Paxovasa
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Joined: 25 Apr 2010
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PostPosted: 11:12 - 09 Jun 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote
Was it a guy in a blue BMW?

As that guy has got it coming Twisted Evil
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locked
Could Be A Chat Bot



Joined: 22 Oct 2009
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PostPosted: 11:19 - 09 Jun 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote
https://cdn1.knowyourmeme.com/i/7422/original/Cool_story_bro.JPG?1249311684
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Motorcycles are perfectly safe as long as you remember they're dangerous.
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MonkeyKnuckle
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Joined: 11 Jan 2009
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PostPosted: 11:44 - 09 Jun 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote
That's strange because 'Aerosmith!' is my safety word.
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mooserx
Nearly there...



Joined: 14 Jul 2007
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PostPosted: 13:07 - 09 Jun 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote
Any chance I could my aphids back???
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Hazylogic
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Joined: 22 Feb 2009
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PostPosted: 19:03 - 09 Jun 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote
MonkeyKnuckle wrote:
That's strange because 'Aerosmith!' is my safety word.


safety word eh? you dirty little toilet.
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MonkeyKnuckle
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Joined: 11 Jan 2009
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PostPosted: 13:38 - 10 Jun 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote
Hazylogic wrote:
MonkeyKnuckle wrote:
That's strange because 'Aerosmith!' is my safety word.


safety word eh? you dirty little toilet.



You're the one covered in aphids. Wink Laughing
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2000 Honda CBR600F - Sold! 2003 Honda CBR600RR - Current!
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8000rpm
Renault 5 Driver



Joined: 23 Mar 2009
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PostPosted: 15:02 - 10 Jun 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote
nothin special, happens to me all the time! Wink
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Bubbs
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Joined: 28 May 2009
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PostPosted: 15:09 - 10 Jun 2010    Post subject: Re: Had my first off Reply with quote
Hazylogic wrote:
I just had my first off, going at least a million miles an hour. I was just coming back from Lidl getting my supersize toilet roll, when a cager, coming in the opposite direction, threw a box of aphids out his window at me and shouted: 'see you in hell cocksucker motherfucker!'

The aphids hit my tinted visor and caused me to spin out... but luckily I got mad skills, so I did a rock star tumble and shouted 'Aerosmith!' - this is my power word - and I was okay.

So I chased that cager down and did a wheelie past him and slapped his car wiv my dick twice and shouted. 'two wheels for the win!' Then I jumped a railway embankment and went home for a poo.


I can't read good, can someone paint me a picture?
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SamJL
Nearly there...



Joined: 14 Aug 2009
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PostPosted: 15:16 - 10 Jun 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote
From my CSI detective skills, I have made an accurate picture of what happened.

https://i557.photobucket.com/albums/ss15/sxsam/crash-1.jpg
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Bubbs
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Joined: 28 May 2009
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PostPosted: 15:21 - 10 Jun 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote
SamJL wrote:
From my CSI detective skills, I have made an accurate picture of what happened.

https://i557.photobucket.com/albums/ss15/sxsam/crash-1.jpg


Van Gough eat you heart out. Very Happy Thumbs Up
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Davo
Davo To The Rescue!



Joined: 04 Apr 2004
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PostPosted: 15:31 - 10 Jun 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote
You should really have a read up on some of Ace Biker's posts, sounds like he could be your long lost brother

https://www.bikechatforums.com/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=27682
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Hazylogic
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Joined: 22 Feb 2009
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PostPosted: 15:48 - 10 Jun 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote
Davo wrote:
You should really have a read up on some of Ace Biker's posts, sounds like he could be your long lost brother

https://www.bikechatforums.com/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=27682


Not quite; it is easy to recognise the fictitious nature of Ace Biker's escapades. Whereas what happened to me has not been embellished, and has happened to a few members on this forum already.
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calyx
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Joined: 11 Dec 2008
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PostPosted: 15:48 - 10 Jun 2010    Post subject: Re: Had my first off Reply with quote
Hazylogic wrote:

slapped his car wiv my dick twice


This is proper imagination. Thumbs Up
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Mr.Everready
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Joined: 28 Mar 2003
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PostPosted: 15:51 - 10 Jun 2010    Post subject: Re: Had my first off Reply with quote
calyx wrote:
Hazylogic wrote:

slapped his car wiv my dick twice


This is proper imagination. Thumbs Up


So you've seen his dick then ?

I have, and I can assure you that it is indeed large enough to reach the distance needed to slap an adjacent car.
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kate t
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Joined: 30 Aug 2009
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PostPosted: 19:17 - 10 Jun 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote
For a (little) moment then, I got all concerned that you'd fallen off.... twat Laughing
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Alexio
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Joined: 27 Aug 2009
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PostPosted: 19:35 - 10 Jun 2010    Post subject: Reply with quote
Maybe he did fall off and he's still just trying to save face.
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G: With my GSXR I do often effectively use it as a scooter with a clutch in town.
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Old Thread Alert!

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