Rescue me from East German Farm Machinery! FUNNY!!!

[Gavit]

After a break of 22 years I have decided to get back into the fine activity of motorcycling. I had, hiding in the back of my mother's, (yes, my mother's garage) a fine MZ ES150/1 of 1975 vintage. You may know the one, it’s the one that looks like it was made from left over parts from the construction of Panzer tanks and used for ploughing fields. When you turn the handlebars the headlight refuses to follow the direction of the front wheel. (Some lunatic in East Germany thought that it was a good idea on a dark night to see what you are about to hit after you’ve hit it! This fine motorcycle boasts 11.5bhp and a scintillating top speed of 62.5mph (Providing the rider follows the precise instructions in the owner’s manual and ‘wears a racing suit and adopts a totally prone position’; [and removes the plough!])

It also has the peculiar property of being the worlds first petrol driven spirit level. Without a single theodolite in sight my beloved MZ will instantly tell the rider it is either travelling up or downhill. Roughly, each degree of incline removes or adds 2mph. So, my quick witted reader, 10 degree incline wipes 20mph off the speedo. Overtaking is an activity which will have to wait until the government allow mobility scooters onto the public highway.

Now the younger members of BCF will think that this bike is quite clearly faulty while the older members will know that back in the day; this passed for 'cutting edge' East German technology. West Germany produces the M3, East Germany produced the MZ. 20mm away on a keyboard but 200 years away in technology. I very nearly considered spending hundreds of my hard earned pounds and thousands of my precious hours bringing the piece of crap back to its former glory. But then the effects of the alcohol began to fade and I realsied that all this would achieve is transforming rusty crap into shiny crap.

Anyway, I have decided that I need a more modern motorcycle.

I want, I think, a four cylinder, fuel injection ‘naked’ style bike with an ‘upright’ riding position and preferably ABS. ( I’m too old to be looking at the horizon flying toward me through my eyebrows.) A friend of mine who owns a fine Triumph Daytona 600, suggested a Honda Hornet (2007 onward) Hmmm?

I am not too interested in top speed but I want acceleration that rips your arms off! I want low down and mid range power and lots of it. I want the turning of my right wrist to have a direct positive effect on the width of my smile. I want to get off the bike and be able to do an impression of the joker with minimal makeup. I want arms like Stretch Armstrong! Twist the throttle and have my hands on the grips and my arse hovering above the on the highway 50m behind like Wile E. Coyote!!

All suggestions gratefully received.

(Oh, and the guy who suggested an MZ250, that’s so not funny!)

[Clanger]

Those are the style of bikes I'm looking at as my next bike...the ones I have narrowed it down to are: Hornet 600/900, Fazer 1000, KTM 990, XT660, Triumph Tiger (newer version), TDM 850/900, or the Triumph Street Triple.

Best advice is, go back through all the Which Bike? threads, there have been LOADS over the years believe me (use the search button at the top of the page under the 'we buy any bike' ad), list the bikes you think you like the idea of, google search under image...and then pick your favourites that way.

Then toddle off down the bike shop and do some test riding.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind - Dr. Seuss

[Willson]

+1!


That Sir, was entertaining!

I've got a Kawasaki ER5 sat on my drive that my license does not yet permit me to ride on the public highway, but when I test rode it (on private land of course) It felt like I was about to pull a wheelie after being confined to my wonderful 125cc bike that does about the same speed as a shopping cart when you try and take it up a moderate incline.

Have a look at the Kawasaki ER6 (they do a faired and not so faired version) if you want something that's not going to drink too much petrol all in one go, or something along those lines. Or dare I mention a Ducati Streetfighter...?
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Benson: Wouldn't life be easier if we were all turtles?
Me: Pig on bread = The way forward.
Riding: '00 Suzuki SV650S. Previous: '99 Kawasaki ER5 - sold, '02 Suzuki GZ125 Marauder - sold

[Polarbear]

I just test rode a Street Triple R and I can safely saw that had me grinning. It might not have the grunt of my busa but it was pure joy to ride something that you could wring the neck of without ending up in the A&E department.

Did my first wheelie in years on it, brakes were awesome. I was seriously tempted to downsize to it.

But if I did I know SWMBO would nick it and I'd be left with her crap so I'll have to keep the old bus.
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Triumph Trophy Launch Edition

[P.]

Can I suggest a Triumph Daytona 600, moderately/heavily thrashed, redlined alot in first 3 gears, forks slammed down a few times from wheelies that were really naff and ridden by the worlds unluckiest rider?

If not.. shame

I still think a Suzuki Gladius, Hornet 600/900, Honda CB1000, Triumph Speed Four or a Kawasaki Z750...

I think you will enjoy any bike over 600cc anyway, purely down to the...well current insane amount of bhp you are making use of

The CB1000/R may be a bit of a jump...maybe too far in your head/wrist but you might always feel you want to upgrade later on after your "weekend blasts" become "samey"

Still.. you could just remove the Daytona fairings

[G]

If you want easy power anywhere and everywhere, then a bigger capacity is the way to go.
Though of course, if you're not used to modern bikes, then a 600 naked bike will feel really fast.

After some research etc I got my GSXR for easy to use power anywhere and it does the job pretty well. Seen some for sale with upright bars. However, the reality is this sort of bike probably isn't ideal for a return to biking as they CAN go REALLY fast really easily.
(I have an aforementioned M3, the bike gets to 100 in first gear in a similar time to the car getting to 60 in second!)

[DrDonnyBrago]

If your last bike was a 1975 MZ then anything 600cc wise will feel insanely fast. Test ride a 600 hornet/fazer/street triple etc and if that doesnt make you grin get some anti-depressants and buy a naked thou .

[Irezumi aka Reuben]

I have recently ridden most of the bikes within this category of bike. None imo have what I'd call acceleration that rips your arms off compared to larger bikes. The Triumph Street Triple has the most tractable engine from any revs. I was able to go through town (down to 20mph) using 5th & 6th gear only. You'd struggle to do this on any 4-cylinder bike, bar perhaps the Z750. Although it doesnt have ABS I'd say the Street Triple is the best bike overall by a noticeable margin from an average rider (me). It's also the most enjoyable. Hence why I bought one. See below for a long winded review I did.

[loply]

One word: Triumph Street Tripple.
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