A bloke goes to the doctor...

The Shaggy D.A. · Super Spammer Joined: 12 Sep 2008 Karma :

...with hearing problems.

"Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor.

"Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair."
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Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5

pinkyfloyd · Super Spammer Joined: 20 Jul 2010 Karma :

https://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:aRNUiijP1iPCdM:https://www.b3tards.com/u/b5b9b95c1ca75a3b2fd4/groaner.gif&t=1
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illuminateTHEmind wrote: I am just more evolved than most of you guys... this allows me to pick of things quickly which would have normally taken the common man years to master
Hockeystorm65:.well there are childish arguments...there are very childish arguments.....there are really stupid childish arguments and now there are......Pinkfloyd arguments!
Teflon-Mike:I think I agree with just about all Pinky has said.

DJH · Trackday Trickster Joined: 09 Jun 2010 Karma :

I don't get it

Phil. · World Chat Champion Joined: 02 Feb 2002 Karma :

DJH · Trackday Trickster Joined: 09 Jun 2010 Karma :

pinkyfloyd · Super Spammer Joined: 20 Jul 2010 Karma :

Bubbs · World Chat Champion Joined: 28 May 2009 Karma :

Man goes to the doctor with a huge hole where his arse has been stretched. The doctor asks him,

"Jesus christ man, what the hell happened."

The man: " I went to the zoo and fell into the pit with the elephants, and they mistook me for a plaything and penetrated me."

Doctor says "Shit man, elephants have long thin dicks, you shouldn't be in this kind of mess"

The man.. " Yeah I know, they fingered me first."
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Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

binge · Emo Kiddy Joined: 03 Jul 2004 Karma :

I was stood outside the hospital last night having a ciggi.
This fella in a wheel chair asked me "Why do you smoke?"
So I replied, "Why do you wear shoes?"

pinkyfloyd · Super Spammer Joined: 20 Jul 2010 Karma :

Man goes to the dr and says. "Dr I keep thinking I'm a moth>"
Dr replies, "its a psychiatrist you need not a dr."
Man says, "I know but I saw your light was on!"
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illuminateTHEmind wrote: I am just more evolved than most of you guys... this allows me to pick of things quickly which would have normally taken the common man years to master
Hockeystorm65:.well there are childish arguments...there are very childish arguments.....there are really stupid childish arguments and now there are......Pinkfloyd arguments!
Teflon-Mike:I think I agree with just about all Pinky has said.

Frost · World Chat Champion Joined: 26 May 2004 Karma :

Man goes to the doctors and says: 'Doctor, i've got a problem with one of my penises..'
Doctor: 'What? you've got more than one?!'
Man: 'Yeah, of course. I thought everyone had five?'
Doctor: 'FIVE! Jesus man! seriously! This i've got to see! I mean seriously, how does your underwear even fit?'
Man: 'Like a glove.'

binge · Emo Kiddy Joined: 03 Jul 2004 Karma :

983fj7t · Borekit Bruiser Joined: 31 Jul 2010 Karma :

A couple of Chinese guys were selling watches on a stall in the market, so I asked my wife if she wanted one.

"I don't know," she said. "They look like they fell off the back of a lorry."

"I know," I said, "But their watches look pretty good."
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Rieju RS2 50cc - Proud Owner !

https://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i233/Fletchera/ant.gif

skyline · Scooby Slapper Joined: 20 May 2004 Karma :

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:

Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension cheque. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?

Sincerely,

Edna

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few
pounds. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter
was opened. It read:

Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was £4 missing. I think it must have been those thieving barstewards at the Post Office.