Film review thread

[Jayy]

[RobMorris]

Lion 10/10

I didnt know what to expect from this film but it is beautiful.
It even brought a few tears to a 'manly' biker.

Watch it and your wife will love it also.
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1992 Yamaha XV535 Virago

[stevo as b4]

The Seven Ups 1973: 7/10

Id never watched this before, and wanted to see Roy Schnider in something different. Its another 1970's American cop film, with investigation into Italian mobsters.

I just liked watching the crap hulking great heaps of American pressed tin, not handling for shit on greasy streets.

[M.C]

[Rogerborg]

[MarJay]

The Green Lantern (2011):

Watched this on Prime because I couldn't decide what to watch and the GF quite likes Ryan Reynolds. It's one of those movies that's *almost* so bad it's good. Obviously a lot of effort went into it, but in my estimation it was made by a director who was a stupidly big Lantern fanboi, and couldn't see past his fandom to work out what might appeal to a wider audience. The CGI is worthy of a kids animated movie, but not of a triple A superhero flick.

But the most fundamental problem is the plot (such as it is). It all feels so unearned. Ryan Reynolds plays a complete loser wannabe ladies man who screws everything up and whose entire life was coloured by the fact that his father, a famous test pilot, was killed on takeoff in an experimental jet. Killed in a pretty preposterous and badly handled way, that just comes off as heartless.

"Ok, we need to pay lip service to why Ryan Reynolds is such a loser... I know let's do a flashback of his dad dying!"

Reynolds is actually employed as a hot-shot test pilot for a large aerospace concern... Yet they spend so long hitting home that he's a complete undisciplined loser who can't get anything in his life right. If you manage to qualify as a test pilot in the US or anywhere else, then there is NO WAY you could do it without any standard of personal discipline. It just doesn't fit.

Then, instead of earning the Green Lantern power, the ring just chooses him (despite probably 6 billion more suitable candidates... "The ring never makes mistakes!" Sheesh. ) and he becomes a magical superhero. Then it seems the writers issued him with a personality transplant and he starts to become responsible. Jarringly you then realise he quit the green lantern corps and was still planning to be a loser, but somehow managed to retain ownership of both the ring and the lantern and all the associated powers.

Then again he reverts back to the original personality transplant and becomes this super responsible super hero. It's just b*llocks.

With a few extra 'risk vs reward' and 'hero's journey' scenes, it could have been an acceptable movie. Instead it's the story of how a completely unlikeable misogynist loser with massive daddy issues manages to fluke his way through life to get a hot woman to follow him around with her tongue out, become a super famous test pilot and one of the most powerful heroes in the universe.

1/10, and I'm being charitable.
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British beauty: Triumph Street Triple R; Loony stroker: KR1S; Track fun: GSXR750 L1; Commuter Missile: GSX-S1000F
Remember kids, bikes aren't like lego. You can't easily take a part from one bike and then fit it to another.

[M.C]

[Rogerborg]

[M.C]

CHIPS 4.5/10 - lots of motorcycle scenes which's good, a few funny bits but overall it's a poor film.

[MarJay]

[CBFcarl]

I haven't been on here in a while, and mainly been watching some box sets, but...

LaLaLand (again).

I took the mrs to the cinema to see this when it came out, and my lad wanted to watch it. I think its a great film, looks spectacular, sounds amazing and the acting is spot on. 9/10 The kid didn't like it

Slapshot

I like my ice hockey, and loved Goon (8/10), but haven't been able to find the sequel, so thought I'd give this a try. Really funny film, if not poorly edited. Worth a watch - 7/10

Pirates of The Caribbean : Salazars revenge.

Family cinema day led to this. Jeeesus. I sort of enjoyed the first one, and the second one was alright. Didn't bother after the third... It's like Johnny Depp has become a caricature of a caricature. And for some reason I got insanely angry when Paul McCartney appeared on screen. Awful script, awful acting, don't bother. 2/10

A Cure for Wellness

This was one that the mrs wanted to see at the cinema but we missed it. I didn't like Shutter Island and I didn't expect to like this. Dane Dehaan is a decent actor but seems all wrong for the role. There are a few twists but because of other films having already done them, I saw them a mile off. 'er indoors liked it, but I was disappointed. 4/10.

JFK

Never seen this before, and I have started watching stuff at work on my dinner and so on. I was a bit put off to start off with, seeing the running time of 3 hours and 20 minutes, but cracked on. Also, I'm not a big fan of Kevin Costner. Doesn't matter - this film was great. An interesting story with so many paths and twists,and an amazing cast means that 3 hours will fly by. Joe Pesci is brilliant in this, as is Gary Oldman and Michael Rooker. 8/10

The Damned: Don't You Wish That We Were Dead

The Damned are one of those bands that I listen to occasionally and dig the tunes, but never knew too much about them. I saw the trailer for this a few weeks back and decided to find it out. Erm.... it's an interesting story about a band that by all accounts should have been massive. They were the first punk band to sign to a label, to release a single and album, and the first to go to America. They could play their instruments and had an enigmatic vocalist who could sing... Instead, in-fighting and "characters" meant that the band had a shelf life shorter than a Jimmy Saville girlfriend. They got back together and split again... Worth a watch, 7/10, but it might be for the music fans out there.
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thx1138 wrote: Well if you had a car, I'd bet it would smell like urine had had drunken sex with vomit and made a poo baby.
Polarbear wrote: They are all old now. Probably had more abuse that a Rotherham schoolgirl.
Hellkat wrote: I want to know if Nigella smells of garlic, or just minge.

[Rogerborg]

Terminator Genisys 6/10

Just hit Netflix.

That's all right, that is. Starts as a decent homage / remake / aversion of the original, then continues as a perfectly watchable biff-bang-kersplode action film.

The plot time travels back to over-complicate and dumb itself down a few times, the leads don't have Hamilton and Biehn's presence or range or chemistry, the usual over-reliance on CGI results in fairly unimaginative mid-range cinematography, and the 1980s section was drab and flavourless. At least licence a few choons - actually, the whole score was merely adequate.

But! Emilia Clarke makes an oh-so-cute Sarah Connor, you get explosions, you get motah siekals, you get more explosions, you get the Three Ages of Arnie, and you can't complain about a lack of robuts fighting robuts. Or explosions.

You've seen it all before, often deliberately. It's not original, it's not thought provoking, and it's not a patch on T1 or T2.

But as a couple of hours of escapist nostalgia, it actually worked for me. Don't take it too seriously - it's OK, it doesn't.
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Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[M.C]

Thor: the dark world 6/10 - probably my least favourite superhero in a 'universe' I'm rapidly running out of time or respect for... yet this was rather good. Seemed to take itself less serious (than the previous film) which helps.

Easy A 4.5/10 - Old (but not old old) Spiderman's former flame decides she wants to be a skank, and spreads rumours about herself, which escalates in a completely unrealistic way. Characters are meh, it has a few funny moments but is also a bit OTT at times.

It's the second time I've seen it... sometimes it's easier to watch whatever's on the telly than decide on what to stream

[linuxyeti]

[Rogue_Shadow]

Kingsman 7/10

Finally got around to watching this & was pleasantly surprised.
I thought it would be stereotypical rag to riches, chav to super spy film.
However the plot was pretty decent, great cast a not 100% predictable plot. Glad I didn't write it off.

Hoping to see Baby Driver this week - Edgar Wright

[Rogerborg]

On that...

Ant-Man 5.5/10

There's nothing wrong with it, it's just thoroughly pedestrian and ordinary. I had no idea that Wright and Joe Cornish had conceived and written it until the credits rolled.

It's hard to find things to criticise because I don't remember much of it. The highlight is the miniature fight scenes, but they're over-played.

Paul Rudd is his usual inoffensive self, Michael Douglas earns his salary to the precise cent, Evangeline Lilly retains her crown as the world's most unsexy beautiful woman. I suspect she's been spayed.

The leads had less chemistry than a Turkish science class.

I'd submit that's a better line than you'll hear in the film.
____________________
Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[Going]

War machine - 7/10
Not to bad of a film, time didn't go slow. Wonder how it would of been if done seriously. Will give it bonus points if the book author was killed by - CIA/FBI/NSA/US-A/USMC/USSF/The Press.

[M.C]

Keeping up with the joneses 4/10 - Borats hot wife's married to the beardy guy from hangover, and some stuff happens (saying what would give away what little plot there's). Only worth watching for a bit of a perve

[Going]

Sand Castle - 7/10

A US Army fire team gets to work with some SF, Shit goes to shit that goes to shit. One of the better US war films.

[M.C]

[CBFcarl]

Had a few days off sick, so...

Red Army https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3264102/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Really interesting doc about the Russian Ice Hockey team of the 80s, and how they were beaten by a bunch of inferior American kids. It also covers the Russian way at the time, of Communism and the KGB. 7/10

Night Of The Living Deb https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3602128/?ref_=nv_sr_3

Meh. The premise sounded quite funny, but the actors really chewed the scenery. After a one night stand, an awkward woman is teamed up with the "super-hot" guy that she hooked up with to survive the zombie apocalypse and get back to their respective families. Not great, but gets bonus points for Ray Wise. 5/10

Free Fire https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4158096/?ref_=nv_sr_1

I really fancied watching this at the cinema, but missed it with a limited screen time. Set in the '70s, a meeting between the IRA and some gun runners results in a fire fight between the two factions. It looked gorgeous (bonus point for Brie Larssons arsson), great soundtrack, well directed, great script and some really funny dark moments. Recommended 8/10

Baby Driver https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3890160/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

I've been looking forwards to this for some time. Edgar Wright? Check. Kevin Spacey? Check. Amazing soundtrack? Check. I loved this film. Even Jamie Foxx, Jon Hamm and the girls were brilliant. The perfect match of Style and Substance. 8.5/10

Oh, and I've been watching films on my phone during dinner at work, so really quickly

The Usual Suspects 8/10 - still brilliant
Se7en 8/10 - still brilliant
Rings (sequel to average american remakes of brilliant Japanese horror) 6/10
____________________
thx1138 wrote: Well if you had a car, I'd bet it would smell like urine had had drunken sex with vomit and made a poo baby.
Polarbear wrote: They are all old now. Probably had more abuse that a Rotherham schoolgirl.
Hellkat wrote: I want to know if Nigella smells of garlic, or just minge.

[MarJay]

[andym]

Haven't watched a lot lately since I've been working my nuts off and don't have a lot of free time, but over the weekend I managed to watch a couple.....


Wonder Woman: I thought it was a bit.... meh. Gal just seemed pout in most scenes, that or have a vacant look (still wouldn't kick her out of bed for farting though).... IMO it dragged on a bit and I found myself getting up and doing other things and left it playing. Sorry, but it's a 5/10 from me.

Transformers something something knight: Since they are stringing these out I wasn't expecting much watching it... some funny scenes, but just a rehash of previous plots, but Optimus has obviously been working out as he now looks buff ..... IMO, I could have watched the first movie and still have known what would happen in this one.... on a side note, I actually had to turn my bass speaker down to its lowest setting to watch this.... anyway it was slightly better than Wonder Woman so 5.5/10

[CBFcarl]

I forgot to add...

The Mummy

I went to see this at the cinema, and it was surprisingly quiet. I was expecting bad things and I was surprised. Not massively, but yeah, it wasn't as bad as the critics are saying. Tom Cruise keeps doing whatever it is that he does lately, the dude from New Girl is in there somewhere, and whoever decided to put Russell Crowe in needs shooting. I'd wait until it is on telly for free.

6/10
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thx1138 wrote: Well if you had a car, I'd bet it would smell like urine had had drunken sex with vomit and made a poo baby.
Polarbear wrote: They are all old now. Probably had more abuse that a Rotherham schoolgirl.
Hellkat wrote: I want to know if Nigella smells of garlic, or just minge.

[AshWebster]