Film review thread

[bacon]

The Cured - 7/10

Good low budget Irish movie, takes a different angle with the undead/virus/zombie genre. A story of reintegration after finding a cure.

I very much enjoyed this film, even if it did go a little more traditional towards the end.

[pinkyfloyd]

The Happytime Murders. 5/10

It was funny in the same way the likes of Ted and Team America are funny but its not the sort of movie you could watch again. Basically a murder mystery with puppets and bad language. Gets 5 because it did make me laugh in places out loud
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illuminateTHEmind wrote: I am just more evolved than most of you guys... this allows me to pick of things quickly which would have normally taken the common man years to master
Hockeystorm65:.well there are childish arguments...there are very childish arguments.....there are really stupid childish arguments and now there are......Pinkfloyd arguments!
Teflon-Mike:I think I agree with just about all Pinky has said.

[arry]

Funny Cow - 2/10

I don't know how we ended up watching this dross, I think the wife thought that with the name of it, and the trailer giving some glimpses that it was going to be humerous, it was going to be a comedy of some description but what it was instead was a pile of massive 'Grim Up North' cliches with some properly weird acting, half-trodden character-filling plot lines and just general abject misery.

The premise is that a woman grows up in the grim north, gets battered around by her dad (that's also her brother, well the actor that plays both of them is - cheap or what?) and then her partner who she gets with after a whirlwind romance quite young and he turns into a wife-beating bastard. Why it was her dad beat her, who knows; why it was that her boyfriend that becomes her husband goes from nice and pretty ordinary to a nasty piece of work, who knows. I think the narrative you're supposed to take here is that all Northern men knock women around for fun whilst shouting 'make tea'. To top this off, her mother becomes an alcoholic after her dad dies, for reasons that - guess what - who knows; and her brother gets married with kids and then distances himself from her for reasons of - guess what - who knows.

To cope with all this she befriends an unfunny comedian who does stand up in the local Labour clubs (because all Northern men are working class Unionist Labour supporters with weight problems and limited intelligence, of course) and decides to follow in his footsteps to escape from her batshit life. He feels unwell, she takes to the stage, owns some fat northern heckler and everyone loves her; great times. Her friend the unfunny comedian then immediately commits suicide because, who knows. How does she feel about that? Who knows. Don't see anything of it.

So to summarise, she's a poor little girl getting beaten up who becomes a young woman who gets beaten up who becomes a woman who finds a way out of her horrible life into a new life which is still horrible and she still has no friends or family around her. Yes, it really is as comical and riveting as that sounds.

Utter shite.

[joombo]

Hereditary 6/10
I'm gutted as was so looking forward to this. Not much happens for well over an hour and by then, they'd lost me. Can imagine it was creepy in the cinema when it did kick off but I was laughing at a couple of scenes. The 4 goes entirely to Toni Collete because she's awesome.

[bhinso]

Dismissed 7/10
Watched it this weekend. It's about a teacher that downgrades a pupil who goes full psychotic
Overall worth watching. It's rather too short and many of the characters are wooden except Dylan Sprouse who is really convincing as the pupil

[thx1138]

Dragon Blade

5/10

It's okay in places, I do like the "Roman soldiers meet civilization xyz" type of film, almost as much as I like the Viking versions.

But, the plot is almost non existent, and it's jumping around all over the place. Visually quite good though.

[bhinso]

[MarJay]

Logan Lucky

A movie that finally shows that Kylo Renn is actually a decent actor. A Steven Soderbergh heist movie but sothern fried, it tells the story of a family who attempt a heist at a NASCAR track during one of their largest events. Not what I expected at all. Slightly lacking in genuine conflict, but it's immensely funny and satisfying at the same time. Very impressed by the unknown actor Daniel Craig's turn as a safe cracker (the credits say and introducing: Daniel Craig which is pretty amusing on it's own).

Well worth a saturday night in front of the tellybox. Entertaining, funny, fast paced, satisfying. Only let down by a little lack of conflict towards the end of the second act.

8/10
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British beauty: Triumph Street Triple R; Loony stroker: KR1S; Track fun: GSXR750 L1; Commuter Missile: GSX-S1000F
Remember kids, bikes aren't like lego. You can't easily take a part from one bike and then fit it to another.

[thx1138]

[quote="bhinso"]

[Jayy]

Jurassic Park Fallen Kingdom - 5/10

Total wank. Should have just stopped with the last one as a nostalgic revisit it to park 20 years on. This was regurgitated toss.

[King29]

Final Score

I really wanted to see this on the big screen but there were only a handful of places showing this that A: were too far away and B: The showing times were incompatible with the time I could have got there for.

I was pleased when Blu Ray rips started turning up at the usual places yesterday.

Pierce Brosnan, Dave Bautista and other famous faces. Film wise; think Van Damme's Sudden Death but with a bigger budget, sort of Die Hard in a Football Stadium. Very enjoyable film, I'd say a solid 9/10, the motorbike scenes were worth watching a few times over.

[Polarbear]

Suicide Squad 7/10

Tongue in cheek humour. Switch brain off and enjoy.
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Triumph Trophy Launch Edition

[Lord Percy]

Mission Impossible: Fallout - 7/10

Felt like a 90s spy/espionage/secret agent film, straight from the 90s, with actors from the 90s.

Not bad, but not exciting. A typical international spy film plot, with a few too many twists and shock-reveals that weren't actually that shocking because there was so many of them happening every other minute.

Also, fair enough, he's doing very well indeed for his advancing years, specially the parts where he's running and jumping around like a man 30 years younger than he really is, but it just seemed like I was watching a 55-year-old Tom Cruise trying very, very hard not to be the 55 year old that he is. It's pretty obvious he's done some kind of anti-aging procedure to his face, too.

A way better film involving an 'advanced years' badass would be Taken, where Liam Neeson was also 55.

Overall, 7/10, would probably watch again but not for at least a year. Might be fun to have a Mission Impossible fest and watch them all over a weekend.

[pinkyfloyd]

Beyond

Not even worthy of a score. I just cant find the words to describe how rubbish this movie is. Netflix thing and it should stay there and never see the light of a TV screen.

Sci fi shite. Avoid at all costs.
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illuminateTHEmind wrote: I am just more evolved than most of you guys... this allows me to pick of things quickly which would have normally taken the common man years to master
Hockeystorm65:.well there are childish arguments...there are very childish arguments.....there are really stupid childish arguments and now there are......Pinkfloyd arguments!
Teflon-Mike:I think I agree with just about all Pinky has said.

[diesel dog]

The Krays - Dead man walking

0/10

Utter shit. Don't even waste your time.
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MT10

[bhinso]

Every one of them will be nothing compared to Legend

"I've come here for a good old fashioned fucking shootout!"

[Lord Percy]

50 Shades of Grey: 6/10



Bit late to this one, but what a total joke.

Was that it? Was that the big film all about exploring female sexual empowerment?



Synopsis: Insecure girl meets wealthy controlling man with extremely dominant S&M fantasies, she falls in love with him and his constant attention, obviously because he's a rich fucker instead of a lowlife penniless stalker, then she realises she doesn't really want to be a sex slave and leaves him.

And that's it! !

Genuinely amazed that this film had so much feminist empowerment hype around it! !!! It's about a girl being used for sex by a weird rich man!

There are not enough faces in the world for me to express how much of a joke that film was, and how pathetic the feminist crusade was for jumping on it as an example for women to to be inspired by.

[lukamon]

the Predator (2018) 8 / 10

cheese fest. stupid one liners, lots of ineffective gunfire, seemingly intentionally bad CGI, ridiculous plot, glaring product placement, the works.

i loved it.

i think my favorite moment was when the group needed transport when stranded in an area - 51 style base and there's just a cut to them riding away on new brand new Harleys.
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killa wrote: Im an ass man myself

[bhinso]

The first purge (4/10)

Watched it over the weekend, I've always liked the context but it just turned out into a film version of our "Black lives matter" thread.

[Shaft]

[Pigeon]

Dunkirk - 5/10

Some of the boat sinking was incredible, but there was too much drivel throughout.

Opening scenes in front of UPVC clad houses and an all glass building which looked circa year 2000

The 10 minute gliding Spitfire that managed to chase after another plane, shoot it down and land. Ridiculous.

Kenneth Branagh, what was the point.

Some incredible cinematography mixed with a lot of that'll do.

[King29]

As this is the film tread, albeit a review thread, anyone getting mega exited about this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45-h5F5Iw78

It is just going to be awesome.

[Hong Kong Phooey]

[Shaft]

[pinkyfloyd]