Delhi belly

Hazylogic · World Chat Champion Joined: 22 Feb 2009 Karma :

I thought I would do my bit for the Commonwealth yesterday and visited the mosque kitchen in Edinburgh. I've been there before and had a superb chicken curry. As I was masticating I noticed that the chicken was of a pink hue. Aghast, I pushed all the chicken to one side, left the table immediately and called myself a taxi.

Upon arriving at my quarters I poured myself a large brandy, put the wireless on, sat in my favourite armchair and read the afternoon papers. A couple of hours passed and a strange rumbling sensation resonated throughout my gut, which was immediately replaced with an intense cramp. My anus started to flicker uncontrollably. 'Dash it all!' I cried, as I lept from my favourite armchair and moved in a hurried fashion towards the bathroom.

What followed can only be described as a test of my character and will. With great alacrity my bowels leapt forth and acted upon their own accord, putting the screws to the vileness that had inhabited mine own body and forcing what can only be described as a turgid stench of corruption and disease out of my anus.

12 hours have since passed and I am still suffering the after effects. I picked up the receiver on my telephone and called a learned doctor friend of mine. He listened intently to what I had to say, telling me to carry on when the pace of the conversation required it.

Alas, I must now venture out of my abode and I pray that the urge does not come over me again.

Goodbye my sweet roses goodbye!

SlimRick · World Chat Champion Joined: 29 Sep 2008 Karma :

https://www.infobarrel.com/media/image/2210.jpg

Skinned · Renault 5 Driver Joined: 17 May 2010 Karma :

Ahh yes, this is were the old saying of 'Every Fart is a Gamble' becomes true.
I recently suffered the same plight while trying to complete a five mile postie walk, if there were Guiness Book speed records on a five mile walk with your arse clenched, rumbling guts and theres no bogs then surely Norris McSquirter would be giving me a medal right now. Roy Castle wouldn't need to play the trumpet my guts could have easily filled in.

Ariel Badger · Super Spammer Joined: 02 Dec 2006 Karma :

Why would a Mosque have food available during the day in the month of Ramadan?
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R6jonny · Nearly there... Joined: 28 Jan 2005 Karma :

The Mosque Kitchen is a takeaway...
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