My missus is poisoning me

pepperami · Super Spammer Joined: 17 Jan 2010 Karma :

I was out all day yesterday and came home late.
My missus already had tea waiting for me when I got home, which was nice.
However, I think she now trying to get rid of me for upsetting her once to often Sad

I had a loverly tea of roast duck with all the trimmings Smile

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Oh boy! did I pay a price for being late home, as I spent most of last night with one or the other end of me on the bog Shocked

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The dinner tasted fine and i did`nt notice anything wrong with it, but it was back out within twenty minutes of being eaten Shocked

!

The whole incident made me think of that thread on here that had the pictures of some-one in the bath pooing and weeing at the same time (little stick man drawings).

I was quite pleased with myself as i managed to keep all nasties in the toilet or sink and did`nt hit the floor once Smile

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I hav`nt had food poisoning for years and years so this has been a big shock to me, as I had forgotten just how unpleasant it is.

Any body else had an unlucky time with their food just lately?
there must be some tales to tell ? Smile

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MonkeyKnuckle · World Chat Champion Joined: 11 Jan 2009 Karma :

There is a fish and chip shop near us which we used to have all the time. Then one day we had it I woke up in the night feeling a bit odd, I just ignored it. Had fish and chips the following week although this time I was sick and everything. They'd changed the batter or something and I guess I'm allergic to it, I don't eat fish and chips at all anymore. Crying or Very sad

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Fisty · Super Spammer Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Karma :

It's not your missus trying to poison you.

It's the bloke she has round while you're out, he is dropping arsnic in your beer.
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Howling TerrorOutOfOffice · Super Spammer Joined: 05 Dec 2008 Karma :

Have it again...You'll soon be in those Speedos.
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pepperami · Super Spammer Joined: 17 Jan 2010 Karma :

The Artist · Super Spammer Joined: 06 Jan 2008 Karma :

...

https://www.bikechatforums.com/files/1281783556146.jpg

hellkat · Super Spammer Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :

No matter how many times I see that cartoon, it makes me chuckle.
https://i40.tinypic.com/2nh2br8.jpg https://i40.tinypic.com/2nh2br8.jpg https://i40.tinypic.com/2nh2br8.jpg
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TUG · World Chat Champion Joined: 12 May 2007 Karma :

Pics or it didnt happen.
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Skudd · Super Spammer Joined: 01 Oct 2006 Karma :

TUG · World Chat Champion Joined: 12 May 2007 Karma :

Skudd · Super Spammer Joined: 01 Oct 2006 Karma :

Frost · World Chat Champion Joined: 26 May 2004 Karma :

That piss-shit thing is just too funny.
I had something similar happen once when feeling ill. I decided to go to bed as i felt terrible and figured i'd sleep it off. I woke in the night feeling like i was about to explode. I ran to the toilet holding back diarrhea and puke and was then left with the conundrum of which first. I think i solved it by alternating between the two. The incident was not entirely mess free Laughing

Frost · World Chat Champion Joined: 26 May 2004 Karma :

https://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f257/briansrt4/Theworstdateever.gif

Pickledswede · Traffic Copper Joined: 15 Jul 2008 Karma :

I've also had a situation where I had to shit and puke at the same time after a party... Luckily the sink was within arms reach from the loo so I could puke into it while I was shitting. The fun bit was cleaning the chunks of ham out of the plug sieve after...

One of my mates also had the same issue but without a sink and ended up just puking all over his dick Laughing

Clanger · Stirrer Joined: 27 May 2004 Karma :

Actually I think if the laws of food poisoning are correct, the attack from the poison duck will happen sometime tomorrow... your bumhole is being raped from the inside out... not a nice thought (especially if you are you... Shocked

)

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Frost · World Chat Champion Joined: 26 May 2004 Karma :

Sometimes the body can take a dislike to something (Mild allergy?) and just decide it wants rid of it. Food poisoning on the other hand comes from bacteria being introduced by the food. These bacteria take a while to multiply enough to make you i'll, so as said above food poisoning usually hits the next day and tends to effect the lower digestive system.

hellkat · Super Spammer Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :

Or sometimes when you think "Oh, I'll just have some yoghurt with a handful of muesli for breakfast, it looks well nice with all those berries and things..."

... and your bottom later says "That wasn't a handful, Mrs. THIS is a handful."

Crying or Very sad

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Clanger · Stirrer Joined: 27 May 2004 Karma :

pepperami · Super Spammer Joined: 17 Jan 2010 Karma :

Duck is not on my regular diet... and even less so after this episode Smile

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All ducks within 5 mile of where Pepperami lives ,give a sigh of relief as Pepperami puts his gun back in the cupboard Smile

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Faldo · World Chat Champion Joined: 05 Aug 2007 Karma :

I've had my fair share of illnesses and operations, but full on 'puke 'n' poo at the same time' food poisoning is by far the worst thing I've ever had, you have my sincere sympathies.