Can I have sex with a monkey?

[Whosthedaddy]

Not a Ste idea but one from Darwin.

Watching the Origin of species last night and that was a question posed by the narrator. We may not have evolved from apes but share our ancestry from a certain point where we both went in different evolutionary directions but share so much DNA to this day.

Horses, zebras and donkeys are the same but completely different speces or sub species and have indeed mated and breed successfully, could the same be true with us and an ape?
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[Ol]

Try it.. post pic's, and win a Karma cookie.
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[N cee thirty]

didn't somebody try and then got aids?
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Jewlio Iglesias wrote: I actually did vote BNP once

[c_dug]

Don't think so.

Something to do with mismatched amounts of chromosomes if I remember right.
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I am a bellend, I am a man of constant sorrow, I am a gummy bear, I am a rock.

[Poseidon]

You'd sacrifice a beautiful woman for a moderately attractive ape?

https://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/7200000/Zapp-Brannigan-zapp-brannigan-7208004-650-470.jpg
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1977 Honda CG125
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[c_dug]

That's not to say you cant physically have sex with a monkey, if you can persuade one with enough fluttering of the eye lids.

Just that nothing will come of it, no super monkey or anything.

Also strictly speaking chimps aren't monkeys (main difference is no tail IIRC), pretty sure it's chimps are closer related to.

All this is based on hazy memories of year 11 science, so might be wrong
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I am a bellend, I am a man of constant sorrow, I am a gummy bear, I am a rock.

[Visitor Q]

*Sigh*

Yes, apes. Monkeys are almost all tiny little things with tails that are far removed from us phylogenetically. Seem to recall we're technically closest to Bonobo's, or that may be because they're ridiculously horny. Either way, it's chimps, orangs or bonobo's that share the most recent common ancestor with us.

In theory you'd probably get a sterile halfway beast, like a mule is to horse and donkey. Whether it would be pertinent to any discussions is open to debate, but it's Dawkins pet hobby horse that if we could breed a half human/half ape hybrid, it would open up all kinds of legal challenges and possibly increase rights of animals.

Theoretically sound, but meh.

This is talking in vitro by the way. Logistically we'd probably destroy most apes. Gorillas only have a 3 inch erect cock, and the long ones are pencil thin.

Perhaps we should send in Warped to check it out? He's humped worse...
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From September 2014 to January/February 2015 I will not be using any English, nor reading any. As such, I won't be on here. PM at will, but I won't be checking/posting unless in emergencies. Certainly not for the first couple of months. Please berate me savagely if I break that rule...

[DrDonnyBrago]

I assume you mean Chimpanzee - physically you could but it wouldn't get pregnant.

The majority of our genome is junk DNA that serves no function so whilst we are genetically similar to a high percentage, within the parts of our genome that actually matter (i.e. the parts that encode genes) we are actually pretty diverse from Chimps.

Nazi and soviet scientists did however try to produce super soldiers by 'experimenting' with chimps in such a manner; it sucked to be a Nazi prisoner for many reasons.

[The Shaggy D.A.]

[doggone]

Plenty of people have wondered the same, there are examples of individual human like apes or ape-like humans.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanzee

[Chalky.]

Got a semi just thinking about it.

[doggone]

With GM techniques it is almost certainly possible
https://www.monkeyday.org/2008/04/scientist-warns-of-ape-human-hybrid.html

[Fawbish]

Already been done.


Tarzan, dudes.
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"Oh....it looks like Average Joe's is forfeiting the match!" - "Yeah, its a risky strategy but lets see if it pays off for 'em Cotton."

[silky666]

Stalin tried it and failed.
He ordered one of his top scientists to create a new super-warrior.

And at a special centre (where they were going to raise these 'monkeymen') in Georgia, they carried out experiments using monkey sperm in human volunteers.
He was even sent to Africa with a huge amount of money to conduct 'trials'.

Unfortunately, due to the different number of chromosomes between humans and apes (despite the fact that most people think we are almost identical to apes) ... the thing was a total failure.
Not a single gestation went beyond a matter of hours, and there were certainly no long term pregnancys.

In typical Stalin awesomeness .... the scientist was rewarded for his 'failure' with 5 years hard labour


It is the end of the lesson ... stop throwing paper about you lot at the back... and no! Bonny, that pencil does not belong there.
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[Paxovasa]

No, but if you must you can spank the monkey.
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[Visitor Q]

Technically you can have sex with any mammal...

... Aslong as you wrap it in enough ducktape to stop it exploding
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China traffic/travel bike vid - When I make a sweeping statement, please add the word 'statistically' in to the sentence before you bitch...
From September 2014 to January/February 2015 I will not be using any English, nor reading any. As such, I won't be on here. PM at will, but I won't be checking/posting unless in emergencies. Certainly not for the first couple of months. Please berate me savagely if I break that rule...

[Chalky.]

Is it true that the aids in africe stemmed from people shagging monkeys? Or was that just a playground rumour?

[Paxovasa]

[pinkyfloyd]

[Paxovasa]

[DrDonnyBrago]

[Chalky.]

Did it cause bad aids, good aids or gaids? (gay aids)

According to my playground there were lots of different types. I'm begining to think they lied

[Ste]

[pinkyfloyd]

[robs321]

You catch it from da POO POO!