Drinking after 6 months...

[johnsmith222]

Hi guys.

6 months ago I was in a situation where I was drinking every day, normally the cheapest whiskey I could buy. I guess I was depressed and had previously had an issue with smoking grass daily.

I'll direct you to this thread (although my first post was edited for a specific reason, but should give you an idea).

https://www.bikechatforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=211900&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

Now I am proud to say that I haven't smoked grass or tobacco for a year, and I haven't had a single drink since new year (it was not a resolution, it was a case of I had already decided I needed to stop and wanted one last new year bevvy).

Now, all my friends have been really cool with it. I feel like they respect what I have accomplished, and how that I can have a good time without a bevvy. I'm totally happy going to parties and being sober although i mainly hang out with people I know just because of lack of confidence. I would say that is my only issue and disadvantage.

Now, my 21st is coming up and my friends think that I should have a few drinks, and while I totally see their point that I shouldn't remember my 21st to be completely sober, I find it quite a daunting prospect of me drinking booze because it has been so long. I don't want to fuck up what I have worked so hard for.

I wouldn't say the reason I am considering drinking to be peer pressure though. I shook on it to a mate that I would drink, and then later he told me that it didn't mean anything and that whatever I choose it is up to me and they will support that completely. I'm finding it quite hard to get across why it is such a big decision for me. It has got me worried.

I went from almost getting kicked out of uni, to getting an A in Chemistry, a subject which I never studied at school and struggle with.

Now, I admittadly have issues with doing anything in moderation. When it was grass, I would push myself past comfortable stoned. When it was booze, well for new year I had a 70cl of whiskey and two or three pints.

Now I have thought about drinking on my 21st, and I believe I should only have 4% beer, and stagger soft drinks with alcoholic if I do drink. My friends are very understanding and I'll get them to keep me to that. I don't want to drink again after my 21st. I want it to be a one off. Now, I guess I stopped completely after regular drinking. I just don't want to find myself falling into a trap of (well I drank last night) or whatever.

Can you understand my concerns after being completely teetotal for so long. Also, this is my summer holidays, and there is a lot of free time to fill up. I don't want to get bored and turn to regular drinking.

One way to look at it is that my life could have ended a few days ago when I was confronted with a coach going round a bend on my side of the road so I might as well get a few drinks at my 21st, then man the fuck up and nip it in the bud.

The reason why I am asking you guys is because I pretty much consider the help that you gave the reason why I managed to stay off booze for so long.

Thank you for your advice.

[Wafer_Thin_Ham]

If you don't feel comfortable about it then don't do it. You have already admitted you struggle to drink in moderation, therefore IMO stay well away.
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[Pete.]

Search your soul and if you don't want to drink then don't. Especially if you think that a 21st-birthday blow-out could lead you back down the path you've worked so hard to get away from.
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[Jodie]

You said yourself what might happen, I wouldn't want to risk that. The drink then soft drink never works.
You have done brilliantly so far man and you're obviously proud of what you've achieved since, plus you said you have a good time without it.
Could you stop again after this blowout?, that's what you have to think about, if there's doubt in your mind, don't go there.

[c_dug]

I'm with the above, you have abstained for so long, you will only be giving yourself an excuse to drink again after this occasion. Until you can say to yourself with confidence that you can control it I wouldn't take the risk.
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[fiveus]

As above. there's plenty more ways to remember your 21st than getting pissed .

[chris-red]

FYI if you do drink don't have a blow out, build up to it. My new years resolution was to quit drinking and smoking for 3 months. Come April first I went out had 6 pints. I threw up then went to bed, I spent the next 2 days in bed with the worst thits I have ever had.

Normally I will quite happily drink 12 pints and be fine, half that nearly killed me.
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21 and sober?...
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[Phoenix]

Depends really, you've stayed off booze since January, it's a while but in the grand scheme of things it's not a long time at all. Could be useful to you to allow yourself to have one or two drinks on your birthday and then stop, before it has any effect.

If you fail to stop despite promising yourself you would only have a couple then at least you know you cannot control your drink when drinking so it's probably best not to drink at all if that's how you want things to be. If you do manage to stop at 2 drinks then maybe it's fine to stay off the booze generally but have a couple on the odd occasion as you'll know you can trust yourself. The fact you're stressing over it though suggests you will have a problem stopping at one or two and you know it, or maybe you think you are weaker willed than you really are.

[Chris750]

[defblade]

Book a striper instead. And not a cheap ugly one, either. In fact, book two. You may just be glad you were sober and can remember everything

No-one will consider your lack of alcohol; the night will be legend
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[cromwell]

Sounds like you've done amazingly so far mate, and you seem to have a pretty sound group of friends supporting you.

If you do end up drinking only do it because you want to and not because you feel you have to as it's your 21st, when you're out with a group of mates on your birthday the dynamic is just going to be just one more drink etc. until you're exactly where you didn't want to be at the start of the night. As you said you're on your summer holidays and you don't want to take 10 steps back when you have come so far.

Do what you're comfortable with, and have a good time
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[Clanger]

Well, for a start there are no hard and fast rules about drinking just because it's your birthday!!!

But if you want to have a drink to celebrate then, you shouldn't be made to feel guilty or worry about it too much. Similarly, if you decide two drinks is enough, then apply brain-power and make the decision.
If any of your mates insist you get drunk, then maybe you should re-evaluate that particular friendship!

Have a chat to one of your closest mates (trusted) and explain what the plan is, and see if he will back you up, make the others stop buying you unwanted beer.
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[Paivi]

Congrats on making it this far!

I'm not sure you're ready to try the 'two drinks' route yet, especially with immature and drunk friends around you. I doubt you could really rely on any of them to make sure you don't drink too much, and if you do, it'll be that much harder to stop again, as you'll start to think you failed, so you might as well continue and try again in the autumn.

Bearing in mind that the 21st birthday doesn't actually mean anything any longer, you get no extra rights or obligations, is it really worth celebrating that much anyway? And, does any celebration have to involve drinking to excess? How about organising something that requires everybody to be sober, such as an off-road biking day or one of those Ferrari/tank driving days? Or climb a mountain, leaving any excess weight, i.e., beer, out of the backpacks.
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[johnsmith222]

thank you guys for all your help.

Here's a quick update on my situation in terms of what I have done. After a year without grass and tobacco, I decided to try and smoke a small amount of grass in a single skin. There was no tobacco, as that was a big part of the problem back when I was smoking. I can honestly say that I wasn't too impressed about the effects in terms of what it did for me. I can take it or leave it, and personally I'd rather leave it. I was a different person back when I was smoking regularly a year ago.

Now, after a lot of thinking, I made the decision to drink on my birthday. I started off with a few glasses of wine with the birthday lunch, and surprisingly I didn't really feel any effects. I found it to be a sociably acceptable level of drinking.

Afterwards, me and my mates went out and drank a few pints and had a good sociable time. We had a lot of fun and while I did get "drunk" I feel I stayed quite sensible with the drinking. Again, it's a bit of a similar story as the grass, I remembered it to be a bit better than it was, and that I can take it or leave it in terms of the effects. Did I have more than two drinks? yes. But for some reason I don't feel like I have failed.

I have changed a lot over the past year, and while to some the past few days may have seemed a bit like a setback, I consider it more to be a realisation as to why I have chosen not to drink in the first place. I think the problem is that a lot of my friends would drink out of boredom or just for the sake of drinking, normally getting ridiculously drunk on cheap booze.

I think that I have learned a lot in the past few days. It's a reminder of what I am missing being teetotal, whether that's grass or booze. And if I'm being completely honest with myself, I don't feel like I'm missing much at all.

[Wilson12345]

Did going past the comfortable levels of stoned fuck your head up in the end? You have cool friends, mine would be like "do it you pussy!"
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[Furrybiker]

Being 21 used to be the milestone to adulthood but as has been said it no longer really is. However in your case it is

Wish I could have had that much sense at your age, as I suspect do many others.

Good luck

[johnsmith222]

[Furrybiker]

A friend of mine was a lightweight cannabis smoker for many years, now he has little short term memory, he can tell you the same thing several times in a few days, and you can repeat your self to him. his brother on the other hand never touched the stuff and has an excellent memory.

He held down a quite high powered job, but towards the end of his smoking his colleagues would avoid him if possible due to his unpredictable mood swings.

Now obviously this is not scientific but since he has given up the mood swings have disappeared, memory is still cr@p though..

[Chris750]