What a complete tit

[stuartadair]

Middle of Tewkesbury at rush hour, riding at 5 mph, I clipped the kerb with my front wheel and dropped my bike. Seriously embarassed to do something so stupid I picked it up and got out of there as fast as possible

What a pillock

[andym]

https://images.wikia.com/simpsons/images/4/40/Picture0003.jpg

Sorry.... couldn't resist

[soforene]

Dissapointed at the lack of Breasticles !!

[janner_10]

Tewkesbury being quiet - at least there wasn't many about to see you do it!!
____________________
Yamaha FZS600 (Now gone to heaven) > CBR600F4i (SOLD) > '99 YZF-R1

[Teflon-Mike]

I used to have student digs on the Hinkley road out of coventry. Main duel carriageway out to M6-J2, so I had to ride 3/4 mile past the house, do a u-turn at the next roundabout & come back.
Trouble was, the rounabout was barely bigger than a mini one, but was on a hill, so the bottom I had to ride around was a VERY adverse camber, and it had a big brick kurb like a chimney!
Any how; bike had been nicked in the summer & crashed; I got it back a bit worse for wear, mainly the fairings all mashed up... gaffet tape job... carried on riding the thing until the insurance came through. and I was getting quite 'deft' at this 'Hair-pin' on my way home every night. then the insuance money arrived; so I placed an order for a power-bronze 'sports' full fairing, to replace the expensive to replace Kawasaki abortion of panels, they described as a 'split' full fairing, in the advertising. It was, in truth no more than the little handle-bar mounted instrument binicle and belly-pan of the earlier models, with a bigger radiator cowl, remoddeled to look vaguely like the fairings on the then new GPz900R.. only the top bit still moved with the bars, and they 'said' this was an 'advantage' so the headlamp 'steered'...I was not convinced... and I didn't buy the thing because of the fairings anyway... bought it because it was nearly £700 cheaper than a TZR and just as fast! But the Ins-co had written the bike off, a cat D in modern terms, for the horendouse price of these silly bits of Kwakasaki plastic, and to me, £200 for a 'propper' full fairing to replace them and make the bike good again, seemed a bargain!
So, I placed my order for one; and waited.. and EVENTUALLY was told it was ready, and so rode back to my mums, nicked her car, went and got it and spent a weekend fitting the thing... fiffing and faffing with 'universal' brackets and trying to find places to clamp them and get the thing to fit, and sit straight...
I observed a 'problem'... the handlebar mounted mirrors fouled on the fairing.. so I removed them... couldn't see behind me, so trundled to Halfords and bought a pair of universal car wing mirrors and screwed them to the fairing... all seemed good. so sunday night, rode back to Coventry.

MONDAY afternoon, coming back from college....

I went round that off camber roundabout... SOMETHING was NOT right!

Picture Road-Runner cartoon: Wiley-Cyote, running off the cliff, 'moment'... that soft of 'hang-time' when he sort of stops in mid air, looks down... realises there is nothing beneath him, and actually has time to wave at the camera and grin sheepishly before plummeting into the casm....

THAT was what it felt like!

For SOME reason I had stopped moving... and I sort of hung there, trying to work out why, and then I fell over.

The clutch lever, at full locck, needed to get round this tight roundabout, had fouled the new fairing dissengaging drive!

As I fell... there was a screach of tyres behind me, and I had time, to see in my new wing mirror a red fiesta, heading towards me in a cloud of tyre smoke....

Luckily she stopped before she hit me.

As I picked my self up and reached down to pick up the bike....

Did she get out and come to see if I was allright? NO!

She wound down the window and YELLED at me as she drove round...

"If you weren't riding so bludy fast, you WOULDN'T have fallen off!" she screamed, and roared away, in her nurses uniform!

The main hospital was just round the corner.

I was rather gob-smacked! the retort, that she didn't give me chance to offer was:

"My Dear, If I had been MOVING I wouldn't have fallen over! On the other hand if YOU hadn't been SPEEDING, you might not have had to do an e-stop!"

It happens; we all have these 'moments'.... if you cant laugh at yourself, shouldn't have got a bike, really... I mean, helmet hair, saggy arse leathers, all that stuff...

always find that somewhat ironic; every-one has to have a bike thats asthetically pleasing, when we, the riders usually look anything but!
____________________
My Webby'Tef's-tQ, loads of stuff about my bikes, my Land-Rovers, and the stuff I do with them!
Current Bikes:'Honda VF1000F' ;'CB750F2N' ;'CB125TD ( 6 3 of em!)'; 'Montesa Cota 248'. Learner FAQ's:= 'U want to Ride a Motorbike! Where Do U start?'