My girlfriend lets me into the zoo after it's closed......

[Hockeystorm65]

.....she's definitely a keeper!
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Good judgement comes from experience.....experience comes from bad judgement!

[Fisty]

Funny that..... I heard she was one of the exhibits
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Quietly and consistently taking the piss.
TL1000R | Hayabusa | ZXR400 | TL1000S | Bandit 400 V
Fatter and faster than Fret

[Hockeystorm65]

LOL!...not sure which is the worse joke....yours or mine!
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Good judgement comes from experience.....experience comes from bad judgement!

[Dr. Quack]

Never walk into a zoo with idiots, but then I was born so what choice did I have?

[Raffles]

Zoo keeper says to Paddy, "The gorilla is on heat and we need someone to have sex with it. Would you consider shagging it for 500 pounds?" Paddy replies, "I will on 3 conditions:-

1st) I'm not going to kiss it.

2nd) My family must never know.

3rd) I'll need a couple of weeks to get the cash together."
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A good loser will always be a loser.

[Biker]

My friend got married in Edinburgh zoo. Was odd turning up in smart wedding stuff with other people there in jeans etc looking at the animals. Function room was nice though.

[angryjonny]

I was in a zoo last week. No animals there at all, apart from one dog.

It was a shitzu.

[R6 Wilson]

Starting his new job at the zoo, the eager young zoo keeper asked the Head keeper what he should do for his first task. "Go and clean out the aquarium" he was told.
Arriving at the aquarium, he discovered that all the fish were dead. He rushed back to the head keeper and asked what he should do. "Throw them to the lions" said the head keeper, "the lions will eat anything". So the young keeper returned to the aquarium, picked up all the dead fish and threw them into the lion's cage. That done, he returned and asked what he should do now.
He was instructed to go and clean out the ape house. Off he went and started cleaning. He was shocked to discover dead chimpanzees in the cage, and rushed back for instructions. "Dont worry" said the head keeper, "just throw them to the lions, the lions will eat anything". So the young man returns to the ape house and throws the dead animals into the lions cage.
Returning again for instructions, he is told to go along and help clean up the insect house. Busy cleaning out one off the exotic hives, he notices that all the bees have died.
"I know what to do", he thinks to himself "I'll throw them all to the lions, as the lions will eat anything", whereupon he brushes them all up and throws them into the lion cage. The next day, the zoo obtains a new lioness. The lioness is walking around the new cage for the first time, and starts asking the other lions what things are like here. "Hows the accommodation?", she asks. "Fine" comes the reply from one lion. "And whats the food like?" she asks.
"Not bad" replies another, "yesterday, we had fish, chimps and mushy bees".



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♥ YZF-R6 '05 ♥
Time is money so I stay late

[Raffles]

Two poofters are having a day out at the zoo.
As they pass the gorillas' cage, one of them notices that the silverback has a huge erection.
"Do you think he would mind if I touched it?" he says.
"Try it," says his mate.
So he puts his hand through the bars and is promptly grabbed by the gorilla, who pulls him into the cage, throws him to the ground and shags the living daylights out of him.
A week later he gets a hospital visit from his fellow uphill gardener.
"Does it hurt?" asks his mate.
"Of course it bloody well hurts. He hasn't visited, he hasn't called me , he hasn't written............"
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A good loser will always be a loser.

[the grim reaper]

Roofles @ Raffles, liked that one

Cheers

Grim
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Adverts don't always work: Remember that advert, where the army are running across the desert and they have a wounded man on a stretcher. They get to a ravine, the bridge is down and a caption pops up that says, 'What are you thinking?'. I don't know about you but I was thinking, 'Christ, I'm glad I'm not in the f***ing army'.