How to flog a dog.

[Blau Zedong]

Inspired by an article in an old PB I thought I'd put together some basic tips for disguising faults when selling a heap of shit, although you can also interpret it as a guide to what sellers will try and get away with.

1) Twisted front end - slacken off all pinch bolts, align front wheel and re tighten. It'll work twisted again in a few miles but it'll pass muster when the buyer is looking at the bike.

2) Knackered Charging system - If battery is half decent then charge it to within an inch of it's life before the prospective buyer comes to see it. Bike will start ok and probably survive a test ride without incident.

3) Knackered monoshock linkages. Remove battery and fuel tank. Lay bike on side and soak everything in Plusgas overnight. The linkages will still be shagged but they won't advertise the fact.

4) Noisy top end - A worn valve train on a bike with screw and locknut type tappets can be made less "tappy" by setting the valve clearances on the tight side. Worn cam carriers can be encouraged to STFU for a few miles by being packed with tinfoil.

5) Change the oil so it looks clean (any old shit will do) and clean the battery and oil filter. People think clean bits must be new and it makes the bike look like it's been owned by someone who gives a shit and actually bothers servicing it.

That's all for now. I'll try to remember some more later.
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18:54:48 Rob Fzs: jews don't give away stuff for free

18:54:59 Rob Fzs: unless its their clothes/ hair/ golden teeth

[lllN30lll]

so it's a " How to be a c*nt thread" ?

[Blau Zedong]

[penis020]

[Blau Zedong]

[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

My Rev counter works thanks to a folded piece of Rizla packet.
I change it every 6months or so....depends if it gets soggy.
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[Teflon-Mike]

[penis020]

Are blues post for real here is your answer. many thanks Jamie

[anthony_r6]

[nowhere.elysium]

[Teflon-Mike]

[penis020]

Sorry for the late reply but I have been out dealing with real life away from the chat forum . Thanks for advice I will take it on broad and be applying this in my every day life . You are all forgetting where this stemed from any idiot voicing his belittling opinion . In my opinion his words and opinion are worthless as I have seen his type may times before bitter twested and very sad ......[/i]

[Teflon-Mike]

[Nope.]

[Wafer_Thin_Ham]

[penis020]

[N cee thirty]

less of this 'blue's a noughty person',moar sh!t house tricks!
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'00 Aprilia RS50 > '92 Honda CG > '99 Yamaha Fazer > '91 Yamaha RXS > '79 Suzuki X5 > 01' Honda Cg > 07' Honda Cg > 82' Kawasaki Z200 > suzuki gsxr 400 gk73a > honda vfr 400 NC30 Mod 2 Passed 09/06/2011

Jewlio Iglesias wrote: I actually did vote BNP once

[anthony_r6]

[spyuggy]

I can see this thread ending up in the fight and flame wars.
Must be careful people.
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Treat each day as if it was your last, because one day you will be right.

[Johnser]

back on topic for a brief moment. bodges I've found/had to undo:

- leaking forks; rag jammed between seal and dust cover
- wobbly levers/pedals; coke can shims
- tinfoil fuses
- tyres with no tread; groves deepened with grinder/dremmel?
- broken engine mount; chemical metaled back in place
- holes in exhaust; gun gum or jammed full of tin foil if an inconspicuous area
- worn/tight throttle cables; remove return cable

[Blau Zedong]

[Skudd]