Christmas Cracker Jokes

[EXC-Rider]

if you have pulled any Christmas crackers , tell us the stupid jokes inside, ill go first.

What's orange and sounds like parrot?






A carrot
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owned bikes: DR50, Thumpsta 110 , Honda CR85, Speedfight 100, Yamaha XT125X, Honda CRF450, Honda Hornet '07
current bikes: KTM EXC525 AKA the wheelie machine
A friend in need is a friend indeed but a friend with weed is better!

[Raffles]

(Q) What do Eskimos use as currency?
(A) Iced lolly
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A good loser will always be a loser.

[dransy]

This is gonna be my favourite thread ever

What did the sea say when it met the shore ?


Nothing ! It just waved
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Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles

[EXC-Rider]

Why did the chewing gum cross the road ?





because it was stuck to the chicken
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owned bikes: DR50, Thumpsta 110 , Honda CR85, Speedfight 100, Yamaha XT125X, Honda CRF450, Honda Hornet '07
current bikes: KTM EXC525 AKA the wheelie machine
A friend in need is a friend indeed but a friend with weed is better!

[nowhere.elysium]

What vegetable requires a plumber?
A leek.


Yeah.
I also got one of those tiny nailclippers that's about as much use as tits on a fish.

I really have no clue as to why anyone bothers with crackers. The bang isn't exciting - it's barely convincing, in many cases. They just split open, with a damp farty noise, spilling forth a veritable stream of functionless shit. Portable, sellable entropy generators, that's what they are. You use them, and a portion of your life is lost forever; replaced with nothing of value.

Accursed things.
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'10 SV650SF, '83 GS650GT (it lives!), Questionable DIY dash project, 3D Printer project, Lasercutter project

[kitty kat]

What's ET short for?

'cause he only has little legs


Why can't a bike stand up by itsef?

'cause it's two-tired


Why is your dog called a metal worker?
Because when the doorbell rings he makes a bolt for the door

These are from luxury crackers from ASDA. my fiance got a very sturdy keyring with a silver heart on it (which he gave to me), we have had a bottle opener, a rather nice silver colored pen and a keyring that is also a precision screwdriver. There are still 4 crackers on the tree waiting to be pulled.
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Enjoy everyday, tell those you love everyday you love them
Life is too short to fall out with people

[TheSmiler]

What do you call a toffee train?

A Chew Chew
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CB125>CG125>GN125>ER5>K100RS>R1100RS>K100RS
A2 completed 23/07/15 Ready for the Golden Crisp Packet

[Louise]

What do you call a Chicken in a shell suit!?


An egg

[Moxey]

What do you call two robbers?

A pair of Knickers

Though me and my dad misheard knickers for something else was thinking they hired somebody of sickipedia for the jokes in them.
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Current: 02 FZS 1000 & 51 Moto Guzzi California Some Bike Pics...
'I was too busy paying attention to pay attention'