Stories of RAGE!!!! (stories, tales and silliness)

[Knightsy]

About a month ago, I had a bit of a verbal exchange with a gentleman called White Van Rage (I think, he said his name was a cunt or something ), who after almost pulling out to the side of me from the junction felt a need to express his displeasure when I approached his window and asked (in a calm, non threatening manner by the way)"Would you mind actually looking in the future?" (which was at a U turn nearby which I was using anyway)

He felt so aggravated that he walked out of the van, yelling and waving his arms around (It looked so comical that I almost started to laugh), convinced that putting his hand up was more than enough to make up for almost taking me out :/

Little did he know that this chap on a little 250r is 6'6'' 40 inch wide lad...
Once I got off (slightly worried tbh) he went quiet within moments and face he made was absolutely priceless XD

[I know I'm kinda at fault for causing him to burst, but it was worth it in retrospect]


So, what are YOUR stories of funny, epic or just scary road rage moments?
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09' Versys 650 | 07' FJR1300A

[willis1337]

Whilst on my way to work I noticed a lady who pulled out from the side of a road in her car and accidently touched the rear bumper of a taxi (a piece of bird poo would have done more damage). The taxi driver immediately did an emergency stop, blocking the entire road and started ranting at this lady through her car window. I continued watching as I thought the taxi driver was being a bit OTT.

Anyway suddenly this MASSIVE bloke from the car behind, who couldn't get past as the taxi had effectively blocked the whole road, jumped out of his car and started the most loud, abusive, rant at the taxi driver I have ever heard. I thought he was going to jump him and beat the cr@p out of him. I was ready to take pics with the phone, unfortunately the taxi driver took one look at this bloke, jumped back into his car and drove off v quickly. Hilarious.

The lady in the car who caused all this looked totally bemused and just continued on her way.

The massive bloke was defo a road rage nutter who was in a v big hurry.
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Current bike: KTM SD1290GT
Previous bike: BMW K1300S

[stinkwheel]

I can't beat my Mums tale of when a young lad cane careering round a blind bend on a major A-road on the wrong side of the road, forcing her to veer across the oncoming carriageway. They both came to a halt on the verge on opposite sides of the road facing the oncoming traffic.

My Mum went over to give him a piece of her mind and his first comment was "fucking women drivers.". (this was a very bad move if anyone has met my mother).

Having finisher her rant, he gave her more lip so she pulled his keys out of the ignition and threw them into the nearby field.

As she turned round to leave, she saw another bloke stood behind her who said "Are you finished love?". She started to stammer and appologise when he said "No need to appologise love, I was behind you and I'm going to chin the cunt." .

He was being dragged out through the drivers window by his collar when she left and he was still grubbing about in the field looking for his keys when she came back past an hour later.
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“Rule one: Always stick around for one more drink. That's when things happen. That's when you find out everything you want to know.”
I did the 2010 Round Britain Rally on my 350 Bullet. 89 landmarks, 3 months, 9,500 miles.

[DrDonnyBrago]

You know I was just thinking, it's been a while since the tall folk of BCF have decided to remind everyone how imposing tall people are.

[willis1337]

What's the minimum height for imposing? Or is it the difference between imposer and imposee that's important?
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Current bike: KTM SD1290GT
Previous bike: BMW K1300S

[Alpha-9]

[DrDonnyBrago]

[stinkwheel]

[garth]

Some fat twat in a Transit last week went spastic at me because I held my bike on the limiter until he put his phone down.

[effit]

[Al]

I lack the necessary imposing height so don't get involved.
I enjoy spectating though

My favorite is the awkward moment when two respectable middle aged men, who've not had a fight for over 30 years are beebing and gesturing at each other only for the lanes of traffic to slow with them next to each other. They both suddenly have important buttons to fiddle with in their car in order to avoid eye contact with the other guy
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Yamaha FZR400RR 3tj
My Instagram Thingy

[pepperami]

I`ve had my share Of rage moments and put a few in thier place, but hey-ho now I`ve learnt to run/ride/drive away.

One amusing one that comes to mind is : turning right at some lights when the fella coming the opposite way jumps his lights and cuts across the front of my car then stops because he cant go anywhere.
Now I cant go right till someone lets him go because he`s where he should`nt be ie right across the front of me.

I`m so angry that he has stopped me for all of 30 seconds that I`m ready for a fight in the middle of a busy junction ????
I`m in my car shouting and screaming so hard the viens on my face are almost going to burst.

How did he deal with it? he wound his window down, blew me a kiss and told me "he loved me"
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I am the sum total of my own existence, what went before makes me who I am now!

[Eddie Hitler]

Had someone up my arse on that massive thetford single carridgeway, he pulled up under to my left and shouted aggresivly " You need windscreen wipers for your helmet?!". Was raining, hard. I could have easily got angry but just looked to my side and said "You go infront mate".

Think it spooked him out a bit, he must have expected me to get pissed off because of his driving but he sheeped out, looked down and drove infront. He drove like a saint after that, probably worried I knew his plate. I am a biggish bloke and so was he, couldn't be dealing with shit. Not worth it on the roads.

[UrbanRacer]

[27cows]

These days I rarely lose my rag. I've been out there with gobshites for so many years now that I can usually pre-empt idiotic stupidity. But I had the considerable displeasure back in the spring to have a run in with an Audi A3 driving cretin. He cut in ridiculously late having decided that he wasn't going to exit at the lane he'd been in. He missed my front end by about three inches. I was on the RXS so there was no point hitting the horn. I gesticulated madly.

Cretin then has the brass fucking neck to get next to me and shout abuse at me. He looked as if he was off nut on charly - eyes bulging, all set to have a stroke. I just gave him the extended finger (not easy doing 65 on the RXS one handed, trust me ). I think he genuinely considered driving into me and swiping me off and only the approach of a roundabout probably saved me. There was a long queue of cars so I dropped back then eased next to him, intent on calling him a cunt...when he leant out of his window and chucked a bottle of water at me. It missed. I flipped and dealt this wing mirror the mightiest kick I could muster...and the whole thing just exploded up into the air and left a bit hanging off. Big lump of destroyed mirror hit the roof of a car in front but either the driver didn't notice or didn't want to get involved.

Arsehole looked quite shocked. Some cabbie behind me was giving the whole 'leave it mate, he ain't worth it!' but I'm not sure if it was me or the cocksucker he was talking to. Cocksucker then reached for a fucking brolly and tried to clobber me with it Traffic in front had completely stopped. I grabbed brolly off tit, threw it on the verge, got off RXS with it almost touching the driver door, want round the front and booted his wing about six times till the arch was virtually touching the wheel. I almost lost in completely and was on the verge of taking my lid off and just attacking the Audi and until the whole thing was a mass of dents and smashed glass. But some vestige of sanity or self preservation stopped me. I got back on the RXS with the Audi driver screaming hysterically at me (he was actually in tears at this stage, though whether of rage or agony at the damage to his motor, I have no idea).

I then got the fuck out of there as rapidly as 26 year old rattly 100cc stoker motor would allow. I expected to have the cops knock my door with CCTV footage. Or mobile phone footage. Or something. But nothing. And that was three months ago.

Scared me to lose my rag like that and disappointed me. But this arsehole really deserved it. I hope I never see him again
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The RXS100: vehicle of choice for Chuck Norris

[Knightsy]

27Cows, I hope I will never EVER cut you off (either on purpose or by mistake)
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09' Versys 650 | 07' FJR1300A

[bikertomm]

[Nexus Icon]

[Hank21]

[jonna]

Haha. You complete nut [/i]

[_mjs_]

Had a taxi swerve into my lane on the way home from work tonight while typing a postcode into his satnav (my guess is they don't have indicators in Pakistan). At the next set of lights I gave him some abuse that would make Herr Kradmelder blush.

[Marcg868]

Firstly a disclaimer I'm not racist but the following incident involved a pakistani.

Was travelling over the A666 between Bolton and Blackburn in misty conditions travelling at a steady 70 a Mazda comes flying along so i pull over slightly to let him overtake, he does and all normal so far then the not so normal,he slams on after pulling in front down to 20 mph.

So i pull out and overtake and bugger off quick sharp he was gone,slow down to 30 mph through Darwen and see Mazda caining it flashing lights and Horn, i keep my cool and notice he is a pube length from my reg plate. So im getting quite miffed now,he's still having a spaz fit with his lights.

I spot a Traffic cop in a side road so i point at them and point at Mazda behind me,they pull out blue lights and pull us both over. I. explain what went on and have my details checked and thats all fine, turns out tho he has no licence or insurance and im sent on my way .
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JACK, MISS YOU LOADS YOU LEGEND.

[dodgydog]

A while ago on the way home from work, I stopped at a roundabout, two lanes, me in the right hand lane (to turn right oddly enough).
Some bloke in a VW Passat to my left. The traffic cleared and we set off together, only he didn't follow his lane to go straight on, he just crossed right into mine and forced me to anchor on or go over the roundabout.
I was a little miffed, so set off after him, I caught him within 100 yards and was alongside (wide road). As I looked across, he stuck two fingers up and mouthed "fuck off" twice.
OK
So I dropped behind him and a little further on he turned left, down a smaller lane, carried on to the main road, then left again, back up to the roundabout where it happened.
OK
So he went left at the roundabout and we did the same circuit a second time, then a third. On the third trip up to the roundabout, I noticed a woman in the back seat, leaning over and wagging her finger at the bloke, obviously giving him some sort of bollocking. I was going to pack it in after the next circuit, as I was on the Firestorm and the fuel light was on.
On the next trip down the lane, the guy suddenly pulled a right into a driveway....aha...home.
I pulled up on the right, he got out and came to the end of the drive, his missus got our too, standing by the car, making a big play of having her mobile phone out, like she was going to call the cops.
I parked up, switched off, then slowly took my lid and gloves off, put gloves into lid, and lid under my arm as I walked over. He looked like he was bricking it by then.
I don't know to this day why I did it, but I smiled at him and said....
Good afternoon Sir, do you want to know why I followed you? or do you want to tell me?
He had a kind of surprised look on his face and mumbled something about, "not much room on the roundabout"
I said, "ah, I see Sir, so either you didn't see me beside you, which is driving without due care and attention, or you did see me and your actions were deliberate, which is dangerous driving, which would you like it to be Sir?
His chin was on his chest by then, more so when I informed him his near side brake light was defective. I gave him a short talk about lane discipline, and advised him that his verbal abuse and hand gestures weren't likely to help in these situations.
I'd twigged he thought I was a copper by then, but thought I'd better stop short of asking to see his drivers licence.

I left him with instructions to get his brake light fixed, and walked away trying not to piss myself laughing.
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I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realise that what you heard is not exactly what I meant

[Bubbs]

[Ariel Badger]