School Run Mums in 4*4s

[gorillaonabik...]

Mother of God. I've been in some scary places in my time. Crashing at Cadwell at 70s around Charlie's was one. Getting hit head on by an idiot around the Outer Circle of Regents Park who suddenly decided he was on the continent and decided to drive on the wrong side of the road.

A knife fight in a Mexican bar (I was heading for the exit at mach 3 at the time).

But nothing compares to riding past a school at dropping off time near Fulham (posh area of London). Jesus wept. I've just started doing this because my new other half lives near there and I have to ride past this school some mornings. While the mummies are very yummy indeed, I am rapidly getting through some of my nine lives.

So in case any yummy mummies are reading this, I would be most grateful if you would kindly pay attention to the following:

- When you drop off little Johnny, would you please encourage Johnny to get out onto the pavement not suddenly launch the door open into the path of an oncoming motorcyclist causing said motorcyclist to perform an emergency manouver.

- 8 year olds on out-of-control scooters. Seriously? Do you want your children to make it to 9? Can you get them not to suddenly swerve off the pavement into my path forcing me to do an emergency manouver. I would prefer not to run over your 8 year old, if possible.

- Using those little flashy, flashy things on the side of your four wheel drive would be handy. In fact, any kind of indication before you pull out, nearly killing me / forcing me to perform an emergency manouver.

- Driving on the wrong side of the road while shouting at young infant in the car at the same time as doing your makeup. There's nothing I like better than an X5 coming at me head on, especially when you are driving on the wrong side of the road looking at your kid on the back seat. Looking out of the big glass thing in front of you would be nice.

- My motorcycle does not have a reverse gear or a 'levitate' button. Sure, you can pull out in front of me and gesticulate all you like but there's nothing I can do about it as I can't actually get my bike to go in reverse or simply cause it to take off and somehow fly over your vehicle which is now in my path. And please note if this is the case, you are probably on the wrong f@cking side of the road.

If my posts suddenly stop, you'll all know why. I'll be lying under an X5 or Cayenne muttering 'kill little Johnny...'

Amyhow, do any of you share this particularly wonderful experience?
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FZR400 (blown engine), ZXR750 (blown engine), ZX6R (accident), CBR600 which had engine issues after which I learned to change gear..., CBR900, CBR924 (stolen), CB600, CB1300 (everything blew up), BMW K1300GT (written off, hit from rear while stationary), Bandit 1250 for a couple of months, Triumph Sprint ST 1050 (nicked) and somewhere in there, I wrote off a Ducati 748 at Cadwell.

[carlosthejack...]

[1cyl]

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Chase my Witch up, Catch my Snitch up.
The SMC | The Pit | Stable

[janner_10]

Add very old people to that list!
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Yamaha FZS600 (Now gone to heaven) > CBR600F4i (SOLD) > '99 YZF-R1

[Alex_B]

I know Private/Public Schools very well.

OMG, you are so right. Yes, they are very Yummy Mummies Infact, you may not even realise, some of em are actually the Au pair and what a pair some of em are

BUT, the driving is freaking atrocious, they cannot park to save their lives. I watch and I am astounded at the sheer bollox they try to pull, they try 10 times to reverse into a Bus sized space and give up and go round the block to find a field or summat.

They are truly the worst. Keep a very wide berth mate
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My Lane Position is always AWESOME!!

[BG5067]

I hate the Urban tanks with a vengeance. I don't see the point of them on public roads. I think it's because they sit so high up they're looking down on everyone and in turn makes them think they are better then everyone and can drive like utter twats.



Grrrr I'm getting mad just thinking about it

[WannaBeDude]

Aisian and imigrant communitys, full of drivers who are illegal, or if legal, should be made illegal.
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Jogging on, destination living.

[dodgydog]

[bazza]

[carlosthejack...]

[gorillaonabik...]

[gorillaonabik...]

Nice rant, sweetheart. Now...

Slow.

The Fuck.

Down.[/quote]

Gosh, thank you for your pearls of wisdom which I would never have considered. You see I ride at 150mph through school playgrounds in London rush hour traffic on my nitrous Ninjablade. In fact, I have little pictures of young children with crosses through them on my tank.

With my 20 years of riding experience (365 days per year, rain, or shine), clean license and advanced riding training I must erm, what was it you said...? Slow down? Yes, gosh, you've saved me from a fate worse than death cos I was going to increase my current snails pace which I use around schools to mach 3 while simultaneously firing a machine gun and lobbing hand grenades at passers by.

Yes, I've been saved, saved by a noob's pearls of wisdom I tell you!!!! Yes, hooray!

Coming next from channel nobber... 'turn your lights on at night' and 'keep the black rubbery things on the road.'
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FZR400 (blown engine), ZXR750 (blown engine), ZX6R (accident), CBR600 which had engine issues after which I learned to change gear..., CBR900, CBR924 (stolen), CB600, CB1300 (everything blew up), BMW K1300GT (written off, hit from rear while stationary), Bandit 1250 for a couple of months, Triumph Sprint ST 1050 (nicked) and somewhere in there, I wrote off a Ducati 748 at Cadwell.

[carlosthejack...]

[janner_10]

I predict a playground-esque slanging match rather than interesting!
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Yamaha FZS600 (Now gone to heaven) > CBR600F4i (SOLD) > '99 YZF-R1

[Barnaby]

On the basis that there might be at least a few menfolk on here who are old enuff to have kids that their missus takes to skool.

Be late for work one day, park up a few streets away & stand & watch the quality of driving, parking or road sense of the pedestrians of these young mums as they drop YOUR kids off at skool.

Go to work & have a long, hard think about the safety of YOUR kids !

Excuse yourself & escape from work early, park up a few streets away & gaze in awe that what you witnessed this morning wasn't just a bad dream. Also try to spot how many are drunk.

[stonesie]

School run mums are one of the reasons my old SV sprouted a baffle free exhaust and nautilus horn, they really are frightening on the road

Air horns help but I try to avoid schools at those times of day.




Barnaby, It's School

[Ariel Badger]

As a person who spends most of his time in a school, lives and works in an Asian community and drives a 4X4 I feel I should comment. Kids have no road sense and the yummier the mum the worse they drive, make allowances , slow down and give a wide berth. You know what problems you will encounter so change your style of riding to suit or take a route that avoids schools. The Asian way of driving is more relaxed than in Gorra areas, join in if you see a friend driving towards you stop along side him and shake hands. If you see an old lady with shopping stop get out and help her across the road, always give way to hotties and they teach you how to reverse around a corner on the test so do it as often as you can.. It is Allah's will if you crash or not so enjoy the day.
Oh, and my car is bigger than you.
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Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[Rogerborg]

May I suggest searching on eBay for "12V alarm siren" and then pondering if you've got a "high beam flash" switch and what you currently use it for.
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Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[bazza]

[Old Git Racing]

[quote=

With my 20 years of riding experience (365 days per year, rain, or shine), clean license and advanced riding training '[/quote]

Don't they teach you anticipation in your 'Advanced Rider Training', Thought that was what it was all about.
If you get mad when when some brain dead chav in an X5 is dropping thier kids off at school then you'd probably be better getting a car cos unfortunately that's life. Don't you think you're better than that?
Just look at thier tits (or bulge), smile, give them a wave and go on to the next episode in life which hopefully will be far more interesting and personally fulfilling.

OGR
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2022 Tiger Sport 660 2019 Street Twin 2003 K3 gixxer 1000 1998 Srad 600 track hack

[carlosthejack...]

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Responsibility. It's a difficult reality for some. I'm running the 2014 Sheffield Half Marathon on behalf of Bluebell Wood Childrens Hospice. Please sponsor me, even if it's just a quid.
DonnyBrago: "I think you may be confusing rain and napalm..." Paulington: "It's not what you ride, it's how you ride it."
Current rides: '05 VFR800 VTEC, '57 Mondeo 1.8 TDCi #58LEGEND

[Srengam]

The wife drives a 4x4 and we've got three kids.

So i'm gonna have to side with the mums i'm afraid (sorry, but I see it for myself and experience it for myself if I'm off work).

If their's a different route you should probably use it and help the situation out a bit because the school run is damn difficult tbh.

[Shinigami]

[carlosthejack...]

[Kradmelder]

We also have these moms in SUVs. They are a menace. Alwasy looking back at kids, fixing their face, playing with the music, cellphone, or smoking.

Schools have parking bays to pulll in and drop off. Not these ladies. They can't be bothered parking because they are too lazy or to incompetent to pull in and reverse their tanks again. So everyone else must wait.

They either stop right on the road and back up traffic while chatting to the kid getting out, they stop longways across 3 bays so they can drive straight out. But if someone pulls in properly into the bay in front of them blocking them, then you hear them scream, give hand signs etc. They can block or inconvenience anyone, but don't dare ever delay them.

One time I lane split past one. I did not thing to her. At the next traffic light she came past me and cut her tank disagonally across me to prevent me filtering. WTF?? Maybe her husband doesnt do her enough.

I am a father and did the school drop off thing many many times. Never would I block other people. I always pull in to a bay. If none available right in front, i dont stop on the road and wait and block everyone. I just drive a bit further to get one and walk a bit with the kids. Society has become no one gives a damn except for themseleves. these SUV moms are a perfect example.
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2011 KTM 990 Dakar
2009 BMW 1200 GS