Advice for a friend who self-harms

[Fifteen15]

Without going into details, I have a friend who is going through a rough patch. He takes drugs/alcohol and self-harms when he's sad or angry. This has been going on for years. He showed me a photo of himself today with 100+ cuts on his stomach and it made me feel sick. My gut reaction would be to go and get help from a professional, but he's now in another country, a Muslim country, where drugs, alcohol and self harm are obviously frowned upon. I don't think it's as easy to get help over there as it is over here.

I'm the only person who knows what's going on, so what can I do/say to get him to stop? I think he needs help but he doesn't think it's THAT bad. He doesn't understand that if he carries on this WILL end up destroying his life.
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[WannaBeDude]

Pics ?
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[Rogerborg]

How is this your problem? Don't give him any chance to suck you into his spiral of self pity. You're not on a rehearsal, he's an adult, and this is his problem, not yours. Shut it down.
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[Pete.]

[-Savage-]

If he's taking pics of it and more so, if he's showing them to you, it seems like attention seeking behaviour.

Most self harm is secret, done in secret, kept in secret, and is a great source of embarrassment and shame when it's discovered.

How bad were the cuts? Did they look like they needed stitches? Chances are that he's just going through a lonely time and needs to reach out, but isn't sure how to do it, or might not even want to admit it to himself.

At least in a Muslim country there's less opportunity and culture of drinking, so if he doesn't get drunk/high for a while, he might "grow out of it" for want of a better term. It can be quite habitual and something that you do without really thinking about.

You can offer support, tell him to talk to you if he has any problems etc but that's probably not going to work out too well as if he's depressed he's likely to be embarrassed about it a not want to talk about it. What would be better is just to call him, face book him, send him letters and generally keep in contact with him regularly if you can.

And to be honest, self harm isn't as bad as people make out. Self harm does not go hand in hand with suicidal tenancies or anything, it's just a stress release mechanism, albeit flawed.

If he's depressed, then CBT(not the bike, but cognitive behavioural therapy) can work very well. The anti depressant drugs can work, but can also leave you as bad with other behavioural problems, e.g. Selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors can leave you zoned out and existing rather than living. Yea you don't be depressed, but you also don't really be anything.


TLDR; = try and keep in contact with him, and don't worry too much as he'll probably sort it out himself. Don't push him into talking about it as he'll probably be embarrassed.
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[johnsmith222]

Ignore any of his self pitying behaviour. I'd suggest the only reason it's not on his arm on display is because he's in a muslim country.

I completely agree with what has been said above. He's trying to make it your problem and you certainly don't need that.

[Asharin]

Advice for a friend who self-harms?


Down the road, not across the street

[johnsmith222]

[Asharin]

[WannaBeDude]

Most suicides are by self harm tbf.
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Jogging on, destination living.

[ThoughtContro...]

[st3v3]

[duhawkz]

Tell him not to beat him self up over it.
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"The guy is a worthless cunt and I honestly believe I would be a slightly happier person if he died." - Chris-Red

[Rogerborg]

[J.M.]

[colin1]

As long as they don't cut too deep, and cuts don't get infected, it's a bit of a wierd passtime, but if they get something out of it, a buzz, attention etc leave them too it.
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