Help winding my mate up

[Zero]

A friend of mine might be buying his first bike on Thursday, a 125cc Varadero.

I've already told him they were designed by famous cry-baby Charlie Borman

Any more ways to wind him up?

"sub frame looks bent" etc
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'01 Suzuki GZ125 - scrapped
'91 Kawasaki GT550 - given away
'95 Honda VRX400 / '08 Yamaha XT660R - current bikes

[Rogue_Shadow]

I don't know if the Val has under seat storage ...
If not
Tell him it does, that you open up the seat storage by squeezing the sides of the seat together

Enjoy

[Quornholio]

Has to press horn and starter at same time to start it.

Or, has to be in first gear to start, with no clutch.*




* I am not responsible for any damage sustained by the idiocy to try this.

[Marmalade]

Wire horn to brake light switch so horn sounds every time he brakes
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Nobby the Bastard: How yo tell the difference between the actual japanese and her just screaming because she's had live fish stuck up her arse? [url=https://www.nicks-shop.co.uk/bcf-goodies-15-c.aspGet BCF stickers and things here[/url] Reflective helmet stickers - Legal requirement in france - Clicky

[V2]

Rewiring his first bike for him sounds a bit extreme

Got to flick the kill switch off when hes not looking though!

[The Shaggy D.A.]

Leave a bolt under the bike in a small puddle of used oil.
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Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5

[CaNsA]

Varadero.....,
Aint those the ones that randomly seize, causing the rear to lock up, in 3rd gear?

[Skudd]

They do a swap scheme for Varaderos only, after 1 week he needs to register with the VUK forum and they will put him on the free upgrade list for when he passes his test. He will get a Varadero 1000 if he is willing to swap his bike.

Power bands, The Varadero has a power coil.
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Famous last words of Humpty Dumpty. " Stop pushing me "
Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".

[Zero]

You are an evil bunch

Should keep me going for a few weeks at least
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'01 Suzuki GZ125 - scrapped
'91 Kawasaki GT550 - given away
'95 Honda VRX400 / '08 Yamaha XT660R - current bikes

[Nick 50]

Tell him its only got 3 gears. See how long it takes for him to figure out it hasn't.
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Current Bikes: ZX7r 97 (Black Beauty), VFR400 NC24 (The banana)
Previous Bikes: Aprilia Tuono 03 (The Beast), CBR600f (97)
First bike: A GZ125 Lemon.......

[MCW]

[illuminateTHE...]

Tell him yamaha dealerships offer straight swaps with yamaha yzf r125... i wana see his lips water..

[map]

[janner_10]

If the reverse gear doesn't work, which is 1 click down from first, its a sure sign the gear box is on its way out. Surely he checked this when buying it?
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Yamaha FZS600 (Now gone to heaven) > CBR600F4i (SOLD) > '99 YZF-R1

[Itxi]

Aren't these the bikes with the rev limiters? People complained because if you open the throttle too much the engine cuts out.
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Hastings Direct, Scum you say?

[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

Tell him you like it.
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[nowhere.elysium]

[JP7]

Tell him that "Varadero" is actually "Little Bicycle" in African.

[Skudd]

[BG5067]

needs dehydrated water to cool the engine
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Current. Kawasaki ZX9R.

Theory passed 17/01/2014. Mod 1 Passed 03/02/2014 (0 faults) Mod 2 10/02/2014 Passed (0 faults)

[BG5067]

We left a condom partially filled with hand lotion on a friends bike one time. He freaked right out!
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Current. Kawasaki ZX9R.

Theory passed 17/01/2014. Mod 1 Passed 03/02/2014 (0 faults) Mod 2 10/02/2014 Passed (0 faults)

[Teflon-Mike]

You could tell him of 'imminent changes' to the L-Plate rules, and or test process.

They are muggering so much around for REAL, that you could milk that one almost endlessly.

Some suggestions:

1/ Picking a Bike Up
As motorcycles have become increasingly bigger and more bulky, DSA have decided to introduce the 'pick-your-bike-up' exercise, as used in the Japanese 'registration' process.
There will be some soft mats laid on the floor, and during the machine handling part of Mod 1, you will be asked to lay the bike on its side 'safely' and then demonstrate that you can pick it up, as if you had fallen at the side of the road.
Minors are likely to be awarded for forgetting to check the petrol tap and 'kill-switch' or propper observations for oncoming traffic.

2/ Motorcycle 'Safe Loading'
Due to the number of accidents with insecure loads falling from motorcycles, they have decided to introduce a 'safe loading' excersize to the Mod 1 test. Candidates will have to bring bungees, cargo-nets and straps suitable for attaching a variety of luggage to their motorcycle. Items to be 'loaded' include a spare crash helmet, a pair of size 10 riding boots; a small duffle bag, and a fishing rod (broken down and in its case). The candidate will have to sucessfully load these items, then prove that they are securely fastened repeating the 30mph 'loop' and swerve tests.

3/ Pillion Carrying
Following on from the 'Independent Navigation' element of the practical, they have decided that a few questions about carrying a pillion is not really sufficient assurance of a riders competence to so carry one. Hence after the independent riding, the examiner will ask you to demonstrate that you can carry a pillion along 30mpg roads, providing himself as test passenger.

4/ Identity Verification
due to increased incidents of candidate impersonation; new identity verification measures will require candidates to present not only both parts of their driving licence, but birth certificate, and second 'photo' identification, eg citizenship card, collage or works photo-ID, or Passport, as well as two pieces of address evidence; eg. Utility bills. & candidates will be 'interviewed' to ensure that they provided evidence IS their own. Ie they will ask what your father's occupation is on your birth certificate or similar.

5/ Enhanced Machine Control
Mod 1 test 'extended' to include a more complex variety of cone maneuvers, other than just slalom & figure of 8. Test will be extended to a full 45 minute session costing £75 as the Mod 2, and the new Mod 1 course will incluse a number of simulated road-layouts including left & right junctions, uncontrolled cross-road, & roundabout. The examiner will provide a verbal instruction as to the route through the simulated road-layout, which the candidate must repeat and follow, EXACTLY, remembering all signals and observations.

During the excersise, the examiner will perform a 'distraction' or 'shock' test, to evaluate candidates 'panic' reactions. (Say they are providing examiners with starting pistols and magnesium flares!)

6/ Filtering & Over-Taking
Part of 'Making Progress'; but considered to be unsatisfactorily considered in current test, they have decided that the Mod 2 test will demand at least three examples of 'filtering' through stationary or slow moving traffic, and at least one example of 'over-taking' on a national-speed limit road with unseparated oncoming traffic; ie NOT a duel carriageway.

OOOh.... dress code!

French lobbying to get mandatory Hi-Vis? You could imply that the new laws coming in in January mean that Learners HAVE to wear Hi-Visavbility pink, yellow or orange, with at least 3,000cm2 of hi-reflective stripes.....

And helmets have to have Crash-Test Dummy 'roundels'!

Sure you could come up with an endless stream of bogus, but believable 'legislation' to be heaped on Learners from January!

Brussels seemingly can!
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My Webby'Tef's-tQ, loads of stuff about my bikes, my Land-Rovers, and the stuff I do with them!
Current Bikes:'Honda VF1000F' ;'CB750F2N' ;'CB125TD ( 6 3 of em!)'; 'Montesa Cota 248'. Learner FAQ's:= 'U want to Ride a Motorbike! Where Do U start?'

[Hyaon]

Varadero, voted worldwide number one girls choice of motorbike.
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Mod2 Passed 30/03/2011!
CBF125>GSF650 Bandit K8>B-King 2008+R1 2002

[MCW]

[GreyFox]

Finally found this thread "Zero" said he had started re: the 'Dero.
Thank you all for the sparkling advice, especially the ones about the rev limiter and reverse gear (the big b1tch could bloody use one!).

Anyway, HIYA and I look forward to bothering you all with my ridiculous n00b questions!

M.
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2005 Honda XL125 V5 Varadero - Current bike