Dealing with a death

[P.addy]

Shit start to the day, call from my parents letting me know my brother had been killed overnight whilst working.

I felt ok, a little shaken up at first but hopped on the bike and heading to see my dad. He is totally lost... completely unlike him.

After seeing him like this... i felt so bad, upset and cannot stop thinking about my brother. Headed to work, but was totally off and work decided to send me home.

I can't seem to even think of anything else and tears just come to my eyes, it sucks so bad

No idea what to do...

[killa]

Shit Paddy, not good.
I'm not sure what to say, it's good to get family together at this time. Talk it over. Then, get some space yourself and repeat.

Don't ride in anger and if you need a place to escape for a bit, we've got a bed in Chelt you can crash on.
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Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Bike:- Yamaha TRX850 | Killas Biking History | Killas Gaming History | Killas autmotive history

[nowhere.elysium]

Um, I can't really offer a huge amount of help over t'interwebs, but if you want to meet up for endless chicken wings and a pint or twelve, give me a shout - I'm not far.

You've had something of a crap 18 months, mate. Things will improve.
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'10 SV650SF, '83 GS650GT (it lives!), Questionable DIY dash project, 3D Printer project, Lasercutter project

[Alpha-9]

Ohhh shit, sorry to hear that Paddy seriously.
I feel bad for baiting you about kitty now, was only messing with you

There's no advice I or really anyone can give you to help, time is the greatest healer and for now you're in grief.

Speak to your parents, be together, let it bring you closer

R.I.P
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Fzr-600 1999

[Islander]

That's awful news, Paddy

My sincerest condolences to you and your family. Killa's advice is as good as it gets at such a difficult time.

[P.addy]

I just have no idea what to do, what to say, where to go...everything is totally upside down...

[Spudly]

Paddy, that's crap news. Not much to say on the net and I don't know you personally, but you and your family have my condolances.

Alan
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The Old Apprentice

[shereen]

Dude - Im really sorry for your loss I wouldnt be able to talk let alone type if I was in your shoes so I can offer you no advice.

I will be thinking of you xx

[Knightsy]

Shit sorry to hear that.

Sounds like a part of grieving man.
You'll have to get through this but do know that time heals.
Take it easy for the time being.

My condolences.
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09' Versys 650 | 07' FJR1300A

[pinkyfloyd]

Death is one of the hardest things to deal with, especially if its sudden. Only way to deal with it is one day at a time.

Condolences to you and the family and you have my number if you need a mate.
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illuminateTHEmind wrote: I am just more evolved than most of you guys... this allows me to pick of things quickly which would have normally taken the common man years to master
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Teflon-Mike:I think I agree with just about all Pinky has said.

[map]

My condolences to you and your family.

Sorry if this sounds condescending, it's not meant to be as it's from experience. Grief will take time. It will get better, only you can judge that.

You will find it is an emotional rollercoster. If you accept that then you will be able to cope. Expect there may be times when you hear some music or such and tears appear as memories surface. Likewise you may find yourself laughing at/with other memories.

Take your time, everyone's different. Try not to judge others if they're not showing the same emotions as yourself.

Take care
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...and the whirlwind is in the thorn trees, it's hard for thee to kick against the pricks...
Gibbs, what did Duckie look like when he was younger?

[anthony_r6]

Damn Paddy, I'm sorry to hear that. Unfortunately there's not too much you can do but try get on with things. Won't be easy mind.
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Ted : "Maybe he's agoraphobic."
Dougal : "Jack scared of fighting? I don't think so, Ted."

[cornish]

Paddy that's awful. I'm so sorry. Condolances to you and your family.

The above advice about doing one day at a time is good. Be with your family, friends or on your own as and when you need to be and don't pressure yourself to be feeling or doing anything. You must be all over the place so just do whatever feels best at each twist and turn.

As Killa said above, be careful when you're riding. Pull over and sit by the side of the road if you have to. x x x
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smile and be happy. . . .it gets right on everyone's tits!

[yaigi]

So so sorry to hear that Paddy, what awful news. All I can think to say is don't worry about what you say, or what you do - whatever comes naturally, let it happen. Everyone has their own way of dealing with these things, and nobody will be judging. Be close to your family, talk about your brother, don't bottle anything up, and don't ride whilst upset.

Work did the good thing by sending you home - your mind won't be on the job. That said, personally, when I have suffered a loss, I prefer to keep busy - maybe you could help with funeral arrangements / write a memoir, help around the house?
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What would you do in life, if you knew you could not fail?
Currently own - Fazer 600, 2000, Red. (But no riding as baby on board atm)

[truslack]

Very sorry to hear about your brother, Paddy. It will take a long time to get your head sorted out, I lost mine last year, if you need to talk to someone who kind of knows what you're going through feel free to send me a PM, talking helps a lot.
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Current: Suzuki RG 125 Gamma, Honda H100, Triumph Tiger 800XC, Suzuki SV650 (minitwin)

[Rogerborg]

Sack this bullshit off, be with your family. We'll be thinking of you.
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Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[mistergixer]

My condolences.

As others have said, dealing with it is a one-day-at-a-time process.
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Space Monkey #7
Don Eladio is dead. His capos are dead. You have no one left to fight for. Fill your pockets and leave in peace. Or fight me and die!
Mistergixer's videos on YouTube

[AL-]

Terrible news buddy

[goto10]

That's awful news, condolences to you & your family.
You need to grieve, it's a tired expression but time really is the best healer.
A combination of family time & alone time is all you can do.
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'12 NC700S & '12 CB600F Hornet [Stolen by some dickless twat] Suzuki GT500 shed

[angryjonny]

Can't really add to what everyone else has said. It's an awful thing to happen to a family - best you can do is close ranks and ride it out. It will get better with time.

FWIW it's still ok to laugh - because for a while it'll probably make you feel guilty.

[Bubbs]

I can only imagine what you must be going through. Horrible news. Sounds like your in absolute shock right now. My only advice is to use every avenue available to you for support. Makes things a little easier when you have friends and family around you.

So sorry for your loss mate, you obviously have a lot of friends on here that you can lean on.


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Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

[MCW]

So sorry to hear this. Condolences to you and your family. xx

[waffles]

Sincerely sorry to hear that Paddy, I don't even know what to say

Losing a loved one is tough, it's important that you are there for your mum and dad and they will help you through it too. Hopefully your work has given you a little bit of compassionate leave so spend that time with your folks and friends. The whole grieving process is tough and will take time, just don't push yourself into thinking its all OK and putting on a facade. Randomly breaking down and crying is all part of it.

If there's anything I can do to help out just give me a bell, k?
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Theory test - 19/8/09, CBT - 11/10/09, MOD 1 - 16/8/10, MOD 2 - 27/10/10
Past rides Yamaha XT125X, Triumph TT600, Honda XR250
Current rides Suzuki GSXR 600, Honda MSX125

[Pol Anorl]

Was he a road worker *hopes he wasnt*

Sorry to hear this man
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[TheSmiler]

Cant really offer much advice, all i will say is don't ride around if your head isn't in the game, could lead to something nasty. Also take care and take it one day at a time.

Times like this there isn't much to really say that will comfort you, as everyone reacts differently to the grieving process. Might not be what you want to do at the moment but I would also go to see him if I was you.

If not it could play tricks on you for the rest of your life from experience.
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CB125>CG125>GN125>ER5>K100RS>R1100RS>K100RS
A2 completed 23/07/15 Ready for the Golden Crisp Packet