Im sure someone said once that kids keep you young!

[scorps]

My youngest daughters toddlers are now in my life more now they are local but Id forgotten what it was like having toddlers in the house.

Just discovered my guitar full of hula hoops.
The hidey hole on the cat scratch climbing frame is full of my CDs
took me four hours to find my computer mouse the other day.
Both little ones are potty training and anything that resembles a bowl or potty is fair game.

The parrot has found a new source of entertainment and has realised the louder he shouts and sings, the louder the kids join in with him.

Cats have taken up residence in the kitchen and Ive realised that the older you are the more knackered you feel after looking after toddlers for a day.
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Do not presume that I am male.

[pinkyfloyd]

[Kradmelder]

Not sure. I would think it is the opposite. Things I once did, my kids now do for me. Like my son dug up old veggie garden, forked it all up, turned in compost and bone meal etc. They make me coffee. Makes me feel old rather. No more me running after them.

Used to be when I had my security shifts, I would get a woman to come sleep over while I was gone all night. Now I see my son will do a better job looking after himself and his sister than any woman, so I leave them alone. He can handle a firearm, call the control room, cook meals, etc. A baby sitter would be a burden on him and i am not sure who will look after who in an emergency

And i dread the day when he says 'dad you worked all day and are tired, I will do the shifts and you stay home and rest'.

Even my daughter pitches in and says they would rather stay alone than with a woman. They would rather go sleep over at a man mate of mine.

I guess you must sooner or later realise your kids don't need you in the same way anymore and are perfectly capable, except for maybe life choices. One weekend my daughter went camping with a friend's family. She said nothing to me about anything strange. Later that weeke her friend's father came over and said he wants to thank me. I asked why. he said he got sick and was bed ridden. His wife cant cook or make a fire and was in a panic. My daugther made a fire, braaied, made a salad and everything. He asked her where she learnt all this and she said 'my dad'. He said she took care of his family and would be welcome anytime.

Makes you realise you are becoming a useless appendage and your kids can sort things out without you. So you are no loneger required as a care giver, more as a money provider, a role model, and to sort out problems.

as my daughter says ' daddy we are not kids any more'
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2011 KTM 990 Dakar
2009 BMW 1200 GS

[cornish]

I shudder at the thought It's not that long ago Himself was that age, i already feel too old to go through it ever again

I foolishly went for a wee and left him unattended playing in the lounge while i did. I heard little maniac feet pattering out to the kitchen followed by a smash. i whipped everything up and tore out there, he'd opened the washing machine door and slammed it hard enough to bust the catch. While i was staring at it going 'nooooooooooo!' he ran into the bathroom (i had stupidly left the door open when i pegged it out to the kitchen). I heard another crash while i was mid 'noooooooooooo', he'd slammed the toilet lid down and broke it

It was a few days before xmas, so i ordered a new washing machine door catch but didn't have enough cash to buy a toilet seat as well. We spent xmas week with no washing machine and sitting on the toilet without shooting off or falling down it was a game of skill.

His other favourite was - on hearing the phone ring and signalling a period of less than total vigilance - to post shoes down the toilet. Expensive kids shoes will fit round the u-bend in case anyone was wondering. Grown-up shoes get stuck so you can fish them out and sob over them He'd take the opportunity to try to get to the cat's bowl while i was fishing for footwear.

He also did guerilla weeing (my handbag and boots being particularly suitable apparently).

When he first walked i was on the phone to my friend (her daughter was 4 by then) all tearful and chuffed. She said in a completely deadpan tone "move everything that don't bounce up 4 feet"
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smile and be happy. . . .it gets right on everyone's tits!

[yen_powell]

When a baby/toddler who eats a lot of Farleys rusks is not paid attention to near a tv remote control he may place most of it in his gob.

If not noticed for a few hours and left to dry you get a remote control you can sand wood or remove skin with. This was not my child I hasten to add, but a visitor's.

My own son (when small) took his clothes off and coloured most of himself brown with grease paint because and I quote, "I want to be Chewbacca".
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Blackmail is a nasty word........but not as nasty as phlegm!
XT1200Z and a DR350 in bits

[Skudd]

Tubes of tooth paste rubbed into a dark blue carpet, crayons left on radiators, drawing on walls,
Oh and don't let little fingers help wash motorbikes, kitchen scouring pad on paint work, tools put in places that you would never find them unless you were riding down the motorway.
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Famous last words of Humpty Dumpty. " Stop pushing me "
Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".

[RealNinja]

[Kradmelder]

[cornish]

[Kradmelder]

[cornish]

Lol! I've learned my lesson with tools. He was eyeing up my socket set after i did the wheel on the car (i'd foolishly left it out)


"mum, what's this?"

"NO!" *whisks socket set away to safety*


If it's not in your hand or out of reach it's as good as gone
____________________
smile and be happy. . . .it gets right on everyone's tits!

[Kradmelder]

[scorps]

Im way past the kids doing things for themselves Krad they are 30 and 26, the grand children of which i have four are what reminds me that my house is not child proof.

One of them just found out why i told them not to put their fingers in the parrots cage, he didnt bite but like the cats who now know better he got a warning rap which im hoping has stopped him. The parrot did tell him to go away first lol.
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Do not presume that I am male.

[Kradmelder]

[pepperami]

Kid-proofing a house is almost impossible!
When my other half`s grandkids come round, the entire house looks like it`s been put in a washing machine by the time they leave .
The best one was when one of them got hold of our camera and took SEVERAL pictures of the dog`s and cat`s bum-holes .
Thing is I did`nt discover this until about three days later!
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I am the sum total of my own existence, what went before makes me who I am now!

[colin1]

[Ellerker9]

Whenever my little brother (two years, 7 months) comes into my room I'm constantly saying "no.....no.....no" as he makes his way around trying to take everything he can

[Kradmelder]

[thegubner]

Short sharp no is just the ticket, works 95% of the time with my boy and he's a few days off twelve months old. Kids can be stressful running or crawlung round but if you watch them then they can't do things like stuffing forks into sockets as you're there.

In an ideal world of course

[MCW]

At the age of 18 months, Mini MCW fed a whole pot of yoghurt into the VCR. I think it was her cunning plan to get one of those new-fangled DVD thingies. It worked.

[Rogerborg]

Les Dawson said kids keep you young, when he had one at 61. Then he died the next year.
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Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[Kradmelder]

[MCW]