Sad MCW

[MCW]

Excuse me for posting this on here, but it's the only social medium that my daughter doesn't see/know about that I'm on.

Am usually upbeat. Have survived cancer, overcome all sorts of difficulties and generally look on the bright side and all that. Took a big hit when my business closed and am struggling to find full-time work, but not giving up. Has knocked my confidence though.

Have been single parent since 1995. Put everything in bringing up happy, well balanced responsible young person. Mini-MCW went off to University 150 miles away in September and is settling in well. I want her to fly, and I certainly don't want her to worry about me.

The problem is that I miss her too much. Coming home to an empty house kills me, it's like a knife twisting in my stomach. I live in a very rural location and can't afford to move, even if I wanted to. Being so sad isn't like me at all, but I feel like it will never be sunny again.

End of moan. Normal service and posts about blow-jobs & bacon sandwiches will be resumed as soon as possible.

[iMark]

[J4mes]

Get a dog!

Always glad to see you, always wants to be with you, gives you something to do in the morning/evening/weekend, you can sit and talk to it all evening (I'm always talking to my dog, I know she can't talk back and has no idea what I'm on about but meh)

If you can't quite afford one, go to a local rescue centre and see if they do fostering - our local one fosters out dogs to people so that they have more room in the kennels for the ones which can't/take time to rehome)

[TomGT]

A dog is a good idea, but are you speaking to your daughter regularly? Although I imagine she won't be interested considering what she's up to

Maybe start emailing? It's less intrusive for her, and you don't need to worry about ringing each other at a bad time.
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1992 ZXR 400

[waffles]

Empty nest syndrome

You need something to take your mind off your situation. Bacon sammiches will only get you so far! You could get a dog, take up a hobby, make some new bikey friends, get an allotement/grow your own..... Try not to dwell on your situation though
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Theory test - 19/8/09, CBT - 11/10/09, MOD 1 - 16/8/10, MOD 2 - 27/10/10
Past rides Yamaha XT125X, Triumph TT600, Honda XR250
Current rides Suzuki GSXR 600, Honda MSX125

[Spudly]

Thirding (or fourthing?) the idea of getting a dog, my wife was just surprised at how much our little pup has filled up the hole in the house now all our kids are at school.

I wouldn't be too quick to go for a snap diagnosis of depression though. It is a change in your environment, sure, but taking a little while longer to adjust to it doesn't make for depression, it just means your subconcious is working things out still.

Note I'm not denying it could be depression, because of course it can. I personally think the approach should be to allow your human adaptability to have a chance at actually adapting to the changes in your environment.

Another thing to think about - now is the time for you to be you again. You now have the time to follow pursuits which interest you, develop new ones and take existing hobbies to previously inaccessible places. Don't think of the house as being empty, think of it as a place you can occupy.
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The Old Apprentice

[MCW]

Thanks everyone. I do have a dog and a few interests. I do talk to mini-MCW, mostly on messenger, and she does call. I do know how lucky I am. Am just having difficulty being my (ab)normal self. Feel a bit pointless and empty.

[Rogerborg]

Empty? Get a rabbit then.

https://www.hiv-there-is-hope.com/images/rampant-rabbit.jpg
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Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[cromwell]

Having your daughter move away after she's been with you not stop for 18 years is harder than I can ever imagine, but as someone has said she is having the time of her life, maybe arrange to call her once a week or email or something, spend a good half hour/hour just chatting about crap, her week etc. I speak to my mum more now I've moved 100 miles away than I did when I was ten minutes down the road, although this is mainly her calling

Keep your chin up, I look forward to normal service resuming
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"unbelievable"
Current - Suzuki Bandit 600
Ex's - Yamaha YBR 125

[WannaBeDude]

Border terrier FTW.
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Jogging on, destination living.

[Easter Bunny]

Have you read the 50 shades trilogy yet?
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The light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train!

[Alpha-9]

Saying she has depression because she misses her kid, what are you a psychologist?

Ring her, say hello.
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Fzr-600 1999

[Flatbadger]

https://www.antoniocolli.com/imgs/gallery/17924/17924_1882675476501f832078477.jpg


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If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
You're in ISIS

[unitynotsocri...]

dont be to hard on yourself.......its normal and its almost as bad as a bereavement.I found the hardest thing to do was get back on with my life,at the same time as my grown up kids were blagging me emotionally.
I just rememberd all those things i never did because i had to do the family thing which always came first.
when they f*****d off to uni and employment i was gutted,so i quickly reminded myself that i was now kid free!!!!...until my mates reminded me i had a bout 5 years max until i'd be a grandad.now the problems sorted,i've told mykids to stay away and only contact me if its life or death or babies or big money.
BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE........being a single dad with no support and being treated like a fag.
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nearly a normal tax paying tosser.......with ferrileness suzi100,cg125,cb125scb100n,cb175,cd100,cj250t,kh250,c15,125 bantam,super 6,rickman gs750,xt500,250rs,dt175,lifan125,dolomite1850,metro,Morris220ld,morrisfg,leyland princess,range rover,corsa,vw camper .now struggling with legs. MORE ORDER = MORE CHAOS

[MCW]

Thanks Rogerborg, I shall have to see what I get in the BCF Secret Santa...

Cromwell, you're rigiht. And we're actually seeing each other next weekend, so that's something to look forward too.

Covdude. Border Collie FTW.

Eggs Benedict. No. Why would a hungry woman want to read a book about cake?

Alpha-9, I think I might be a bit depressed. I rang her, said hello.

Flatbadger, overconsumption of that is probably why I'm still on my own.

unscatm Please don't give mini-MCW ideas. Won't be old enough to be a grandma for at least another few decades...

[iMark]

[Alpha-9]

[Flatbadger]

[Clanger]

How about taking in a lodger...a mid-week one only, so you get to have your weekends to yourself.

Or how about hosting coffee evenings or a support group or a knitting circle at your place...or similar... depending on your particular interests.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind - Dr. Seuss

[unitynotsocri...]

you 've now time to get on with your personal emotional life,like going out ,shagging,spending money on yourself instead of the kids,etc...etc..........Its hard when they leave,when my eldest lad left years ago the mrs could actually feel pain in her stomach.After a few months of visiting and eating all the bread,being abusive to other siblings etc.....the emotional lovly ness factor wore off and we could clearly see he was just a normal young english adult............spending his wages on lager ,coke and shirts and trainers...whilst thinking he could ponse off the family home.ahhh little darlings.
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nearly a normal tax paying tosser.......with ferrileness suzi100,cg125,cb125scb100n,cb175,cd100,cj250t,kh250,c15,125 bantam,super 6,rickman gs750,xt500,250rs,dt175,lifan125,dolomite1850,metro,Morris220ld,morrisfg,leyland princess,range rover,corsa,vw camper .now struggling with legs. MORE ORDER = MORE CHAOS

[Joenitro]

The time of year doesn't help. Nice to come home to cuddles and conversation when the weather's cold.

Try doing something where you would meet people. Maybe a college course etc

[Paddy Blake]

What ever you do don't go down the road of a few glasses of wine while watching tv at night and it gets to a few bottles of wine.

[Kradmelder]

Hook up with some local bikers, go have drinks, braais, outings, whatever brit bikers do when not eating bacon and throwing their toys at non-PC remarks

We had a group that got together nearly every day after work. Most are married now though. I just got to a stage whether I would rather come home alone than go meet up for a few drinks. Once in a while, like last night, I still go and we had a braai last night.

Your happiness should not come from other people but within yourself. if bikes make you happy: indulge.

Think of it another way: you could come home to an empty house, or come home to a partner who despises you and makes your life hell, so you dont want to come home at all. Many people live like that. So you are better off. You at least have the option to be at home if you want, go ride, go meet friends.....


I'm sure there are also other groups in the UK that are welcoming to british bikers: the EDL, the BNP, the Hell's Angels, some soccer hooligan clubs

And I dont agree with Paddy. Now I can have a few dops in the evening and no one says 'you're drunk'.
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2011 KTM 990 Dakar
2009 BMW 1200 GS

[Joncrete Cungle]

A combination of getting a dog and / or take in a lodger. Worked for the old man a few years ago. He also took up walking / rambling to get him out of the house and meeting folk on a weekend.

[mentalboy]