Dealing with depressed girlfriend

[EazyDuz]

Needing some advice here. I get waves of depression myself sometimes, luckily ive been off any kind of meds for about 5 weeks now and i feel great, problem is my gf suffers from depression quite badly, she has 2 prozac a day.
Her depression is (as far as i can tell) completely in the mind, as in nothing in her life would make her depressed, its purely a chemically triggered depression, as opposed to a family member dying etc etc.

She just rang me, after having text me most of the day complaining that she hasnt been paid for her work. I tell her she will get paid, its just a bit inconvenient that she will get it a bit later.
She rings me saying she cant be bothered to move, she hopes she wont wake up in the morning, her life is shit.
She goes, 'you dont want to help me' so i say, 'well what is wrong exactly, apart from the money' 'i dont even know'.

How do i help her if she doesnt know herself what is wrong? Oh and she refuses to go to councelling or talk to a professional. She also drinks at least once a week, so thats not helping her money problems either.

Thing is, i was on a high earlier, in a really good mood, then she texts me and rings me and now im starting to feel down, i feel like shes guilt tripping me and its all over the phone as well, when she knows full well i cant help her.

Has anyone dealt with something similar before? Im considering throwing in the towel tbh.
We have been together since Feb this year.
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[anthony_r6]

Can't say I have dealt with it, had a really good friend who was depressed though. Difficult times. All I will say is that if she is making your own mood change to something worse, then it might be worth leaving her. Sometimes you have to think of number 1.
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Ted : "Maybe he's agoraphobic."
Dougal : "Jack scared of fighting? I don't think so, Ted."

[J.M.]

Tell her she either sees someone about it or the relationship is over.

Tell her in person, at her place. Walk out if she refuses.

If you mean anything to her, when she sees you're serious she'll agree.

If she doesn't agree, you've dodged a bullet.
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2004 R1 & 2018 XSR900

[Amnesty]

[EazyDuz]

[mickie]

Take the advise of someone who has lived with a partner with depression for 5 years, and get out now while you can!
It sounds like she is not only depressed but is willing to use emotional blackmail to get you in line. Life with her will not get any better, you are young and your relationship has not been going for very long, you don't need the weight around your neck.

[Pie-Roe]

Since Feb is not long enough to be caring about her depression if it's come about for no real reason for me.

I'd sack her off, use the money you spend on trying to cheer her up to buy a ninja and get a better gf.
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[monkeymark]

I lived with someone like this for over 6 years.
She took an overdose when I said it was over and that's when you really feel guilty as you feel you can't leave incase she tries again and succeeds.
If it's not yet been a long term thing and unless you feel you are head over heels in love with her then do as others have said and leave now while you can. If you let her control you, which it sounds she is trying to do, you'll end up stuck for years like i was and believe me it's a truly miserable life.

I'd also like to add that my wife suffers from depression. Although I can tell when she not doing so well she has never once tried to treat me the way my ex did on a daily basis.

IMO, tell her it's get help or it's over. Don't let yourself become a prisoner.

[J.M.]

My ex gave the ultimatum that I suggested to me. I was completely reluctant to do so but I agreed because I didn't want to lose her.

The relationship ended the next day anyway so I never did get that help. I started talking to my Uni who were beyond useless. Honestly I told them everything and asked who I needed to speak to, I stopped replying after the person said they weren't qualified to help but they could talk as long as I needed.

But basically if she refuses to get the help then there's no point staying in the relationship. Depressed people ruin your happiness. Your happiness comes first.

Agree with Pyro, buy a Ninja.
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2004 R1 & 2018 XSR900

[Raffles]

As others have said, bail and bail now. Nut jobs do not get better. End of.
BTW, I do know what I'm talking about.
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A good loser will always be a loser.

[Ariel Badger]

Walk away, been there and it is not nice (in a way I am still there).
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Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[0l0dom0l0]

[temeluchus]

If you don't have kids there is no obligation. Get out.

Often the "depression" is an excuse for abusive manipulative passive aggressive behaviour. Giving in is reinforcement.
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Some shite cruiser. Now with guns and FREEDOM!

[covent.gardens]

You don't seem that bothered about her so it's probably best to walk, you'll save yourself a lot of stress and it gives her the chance to find someone that is more in to her, therefore it's probably the best thing for both of you.

[stinkwheel]

Do you love her?

YES: Move heaven and earth.

NO: Walk away.
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“Rule one: Always stick around for one more drink. That's when things happen. That's when you find out everything you want to know.”
I did the 2010 Round Britain Rally on my 350 Bullet. 89 landmarks, 3 months, 9,500 miles.

[owl10]

Punch her in the tits...
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DanceLikeAMonkey says: "An infinte amount of web pages available
Yet I still end up reading crap like that"

[Kradmelder]

Are you supposed to be a BF or a doormat? Why must she pull you down all the time? Standing by your partner in difficult circumstances out of their control and helping them while they get out of their situation is one thing, but a chemical imbalance and mood swings?

Nutters always end up depressed because they ruin every relationship through their own mood swings they refuse to take responsibility for. As others have said, tell her to get help, or you will duck.

I had one nutter GF once. I told her I will even pay for the shrink. She agreed, but an hour later called back and said Im plotting with her x to get her locked up blah blah fish paste. Good bye.
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2011 KTM 990 Dakar
2009 BMW 1200 GS

[Zen Dog]

[Bubbs]

[Rogerborg]

https://www.deviantart.com/download/75049921/Get_to_tha_Choppa_by_linkzone.jpg

She's an independent adult, not your child. The longer you pretend otherwise, the harder it'll be to ditch her when she goes into I'll-kill-myself-if-you-don't-do-the-dishes bunny boiler mode.
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Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[Eddie Hitler]

I have been single for almost a year now, down to my ex girlfriend. I'm not sure if she was depressed, but she tried to control me in my life in ways to make her feel better. After an incident involving a door getting slammed in my mums face and abuse to my dad, I said to her to leave and that we were over.

Since then, she has tried to crawl back, saying that "she has changed!", but nahhah. No chance. I felt liberated and free after a month or two (I was seriously upset, I had never felt that way about someone before, but I knew deep down I came first). A girlfriend/wife is there to enhance your life, not be a negative addition.

For now, I am single through choice, concentrating on my future. If the right person comes along, that's when I'll settle down. Watching people my age run around after skirt and getting "hurt" 2 weeks later amuses me. Not worth the time. I just wank.

[0l0dom0l0]

[DottyDuck]

[mistergixer]

I always assumed the OP was a gheyer, what with riding a Virago and all that.....


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[EazyDuz]