Friends with children????

[Andyk]

Ok this is a bit of a winge and moan, and i know several large cups of MTFU would probably be better than, typing it all out to a bunch of people of a biker forum but o well.....

Anyway the question is do you lose friends when they have children/do they every come back?

Let me set the scene for you.
About 5 years ago at university i met my best friend (proper bromance kind of best friend) we went climbing together and met up every week without fail! Jump forward about 3 years (so 18month - 2 years ago) he met the girl whom is now his fiancee, she controlled everything but we usually met up still every week. About 10months ago we go told they had good news....... Yup a kid was on the way. Now me and my best friend would do anything for each other and even though me and my fiancee had a 2 hour commute home for christmas we still fed his dog etc and locked the house up for them on christmas eve whilst she was in the hospital giving birth. OK jump forward to now.... so ok its only been a 8 weeksish but we dont talk anymore, he wont text/doesn't text back. Havnt seen the kid. Didn't even get a cheers for the christmas presents we had sent him/his fiancee and the new kid. So feel very put out and noticed the massive shift coming over the nine months but seems to have destroyed the friendship. So like i said before have you ever been in a simular situation? Did the friendship ever recover?

[andyscooter]

we were the first to have kids out of our group

we startred to lose touch because they would be going out but we had to stay in

now they have all got married and got kids we have started to get together again

normally kids birthdays rather then ours but we do have a good time
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gilera runner vxr200 (chavped)
if its spelt wrong its my fat fingers and daft auto correct on my tablet

[arry]

[The Artist]

I hate kids, i'm glad I never was one.

https://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvn84sg2nW1qi9q8h.jpg

[Hetzer]

Most people have been through so few lives they still think having a kid is like the birth of the universe. Those who have eaten the pie, worn the t-shirt, etc etc, think it's about as noteworthy as buying a budgie and will happily leave the vegetable baby strapped in its cot and come out to play.
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"There's the horizon! Ride hard, ride fast and cut down all who stand in your way!"

[Andyk]

[Hetzer]

[Bomberman]

[JP7]

One of my best mates has just had a baby daughter. I can't begin to imagine what it is like having a new baby, but he reports a distinct lack of sleep and various stresses involved with balancing being a new parent, having a career and having a life. I'm giving him some space while he adapts to this complete new lifestyle, but still speak to him as often as possible. I've made the effort to meet his child, and was very touched when they actually made me godfather.

Give him some time to get used to it, he will find room for you again but it might not be instantly. Bear in mind that they will have been beseiged by other friends and family wanting to coo over the baby, which might have made him feel a bit overwhelmed. You might be the one making all the effort for a bit, because he will find it difficult to step out of that "baby baby baby" routine, but make the effort and he'll find a happy medium. Remind him that you're there, go and meet the baby and take a teddy round or something. See what happens, but I think you'll be fine.

[Rogerborg]

He's grown up, you haven't. /story
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Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[Andyk]

[Hetzer]

[CarlosCBR]

Must be the missus. My daughter is 18 months old now and aslong as i put enough effort into spending time with the missus and baby girl im still allowed to do anything i like, just as i was before having a baby.

As others have said, he may just be overwhelmed, give it a few months for him to adjust and text him or offer him to pop out for a pint every now and again, he will come round.... unless his missus is a complete knob.
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https://www.facebook.com/carl.simmonds.7

[Alpha-9]

Get him pregnant, then he won't be able to leave you

https://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQbnoZhbFr2DXCdjar-TbYuw96bY1z1EE1-0_-60JaERovKuJxdcg
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Fzr-600 1999

[pa_broon74]

I take the view, true friendship requires no effort. In order for it to exist, you don't need to go round once a week or have text messages returned.

Even after a break of a year, you can pick things up as if no time has passed. I would turn it round slightly and say, perhaps this says more about you than it does about your pal.

Beyond that, reading this thread, the music from the Radio 1 sad story section they used to do was running through my head.


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Didn't catch anything.

[mistergixer]

[scorps]

friendship is a funny old thing, ive just been contacted by a dear mate who Ive not spoken to or seen in over six years, I know that im going to have to get a comfy chair cos he is going to want to have a proper chin wag. I do hope him and his wife come up for a visit soon, on a bike tour or something. We didnt fall out, but he screwed his computer up and lost my email and i accidentally deleted his number and got a new phone but like another friend who I havent seen in twelve years, it will just be like weve not been out of touch when we talk or meet up again. I think thats pretty much real friends for you.
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Do not presume that I am male.

[bezzabsa]

Friends?? whats them??
Thought I had loads till I got divorced and had a breakdown..soon found out that they usually run at the first sign of trouble, I had put myself out for folk been a taxi, bank and bedsit for some..But 1 little bit of shit (ok major on my part) and they vanish like a fart in a gale!!

dont talk to anyone from school...people i knew in my teens I wouldnt recognise now, and any new 'friends' I make are usually through web sites like this or in passing...

[Rogerborg]

[Poseidon]

I had a "best friend" once. Worked with the guy, went out on the bikes together, loaned each other stuff, popped round each other's house for cuppas, even went away on a lads weekend. We were inseparable. Well, according to him we were.

My side of it was, we'd met through work and the only common interest we had was motorbikes. He was a handy person to know when I needed a gofer (gofer this, gofer that) or if the weather was nice and fancied a blast to the seaside, but outside of work and bikes, he was one dull fucker. Before I had a child, I'd humour him when he called round... even take pity on him and go for a pint with him. He invited himself on a trip I had planned, so had to put up with him for 3 whole days away (amazed to this day that we both came back alive). I just didn't have the heart to tell him to piss off.

As soon as our first was born, I had a ready made excuse to fuck him off. All of a sudden I was too busy to go for a ride out, my wife was too tired for him to pop round/me to leave the house. I was just too rushed off my feet to keep an eye on facebook etc (he was blocked from seeing most of my statuses) and I told him all the phones were on silent to not wake the baby up (god bless caller ID). Reality was that life was continuing as before, mates coming and going, rideouts to the seaside... We even went away for the weekend with a 10day old baby.

Just sayin'
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1977 Honda CG125
2002 Ducati Monster S4 (currently restoring)

[Tungtvann]

I'm not technically allowed to be friends with children anymore, something about her parents not liking her hanging around with guys twice her age after school, I mean, we were actually *just* friends, what's wrong?!

[LordShaftesbu...]

[uberkron]

I always have a bromance on the go, me and the mrs dont feel the need to just grow fat together on the couch. She has her friends i have mine. Wouldnt work any other way.

The only mates ive lost have become raging dickhead christians, and that was because i wasnt interested in what they had to offer.
I think you should just wait for him to get in touch.

Good friends dont go away or come back is a correct statement.
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i ride a zip 50 2smoke. It overtakes a hundred times a day.

[st3v3]

[Flatbadger]

I have a couple of mates I've known 20 years. This kids thing's a phase they're going through. I see them less but still see them.