lying on a CV

[HJM]

Just wondered how bad/illegal lying on my cv is? Now i'm at university and will be wanted to pick up a job over summer/next academic year, but my current cv is a pile of dog sh!t.

Apart from very good GCSE's/A levels i have 5 days working at bodyshop a few years ago, before coming to my senses that i was loosing a incredible amount of man points as the days went on (there were more sensible reasons obviously). Apart from this and my Ebay business that i ran throughout college i have no actual experience in retail.

Yes, my Ebay business will look good, but at the end of the day, when i apply for tesco's all i am is 2arms and 2legs, my fu*king entrepreneurial skills mean nothing when stacking shelf's.

My question! how bad would it be/could it be even possible to add some bullshit job working in the family or something?

Cheers,

HJM.
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"90% of all statistics are made up"

CBT-18/04/2013

[cimbian]

Seriously?

Don't do it.
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22PlusY
Current: Moto Guzzi 1100 Breva. Previous: Honda XL650V TransAlp
Bearded, Balding, Born again Buddhist Biker

[daemonoid]

It's not illegal, but it is grounds for immediate termination at almost any point.

You're a uni student looking for part time work - they expect minimal experience...
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[Alpha-9]

selling shit on ebay hardly makes you an entrepreneurial businessman
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Fzr-600 1999

[HJM]

Fair play, stupid question, just wish i could delete this post now, look like a bellend.

Thanks for the replys though guys.
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"90% of all statistics are made up"

CBT-18/04/2013

[HJM]

[J4mes]

If you'd done anything worthy then you wouldn't be asking this in the first place....

[Tungtvann]

The only crime is getting caught. I'd love to tell you some of the stuff I have got away with, but I can't because that's what keeps me un-caught!

[covent.gardens]

I have quite a big gap on my CV and when the time comes I'll be filling it with "working in the family business". That's not totally untrue, as I do help run the eBay business, but the ~12 to ~16 hours a week I actually spend on my duties re: eBay, will no doubt be written down as as Full Time occupation come CV time with a few duties that I'm not responsible for, included for good measure. I'd stretch the truth a little as so many others do, but I wouldn't lie completely.

[Chesh]

The job is stacking shelves and you're going to be worried they don't see you as qualified or worthy of the job???????

I might be missing the point, but if you think that you're under qualified to stack shelves, you need to re evaluate some things.

[Rogerborg]

[HJM]

[Tungtvann]

If jimmy who has been stacking shelves his whole life is looking for more jobs stacking shelves, questions will be asked: why is he not still stacking shelves at his previous employment (can't even keep that job) and why is he happy stacking shelves forever (lack of drive/ambition/motivation)?

[Rogerborg]

Your most important qualification will be saying that you'll be willing to work any, all or no hours, entirely at their convenience.

Note: saying it.
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[HJM]

[el_oso]

[Skudd]

I have known many people who once they have got into a position where they wouldn't or couldn't be sacked for it admitted telling prokies on their CVs.
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Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".

[Lord Percy]

When I was at the training induction for Sainsburys we all had to quickly say where we'd come from (which I frankly think is stupid - what if I'd just got out of prison and didn't want to tell that to 15 new faces?). But anyway, this one lad just said he used to work in a warehouse but he was sacked. Nice and simple. We laughed. He still got the job!

So yeah, experience means naff all at a supermarket and they know that. It's easy. Specially if you're only applying for part time work. They only want drones. The only thing you need to do is clock in on time!

DEFINITELY don't lie. If they question you on your job you'll be scuppered. No lie is perfect!

[HJM]

[Flatbadger]

You don't need to lie; just use language to your advantage!

If for instance you took a course and didn't pass, say on your CV that you completed the course. It implies that you passed, and you haven't lied.
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If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
You're in ISIS

[JiveBunny]

Yes lie through your back teeth I have and still no interviews.

I have several copy pasta CVs and genuine ones still no interviews.

Other than agencies which set anyone on. So they do not count.

Lying makes minimal difference as long as you have a silver tongue.

It all boils down to pot luck whether or not you're in the first fifty CVs.
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When I ride, I feel as if I transcend consciousness and enter a different dimension full of instinct.

[HJM]

[HJM]

[duhawkz]

[Tungtvann]

If you're making big lies...make sure you falsify accompanying documentation too!