The dangers of pot *text*

Quote:

After not smoking pot of 6 years I decided to smoke because I was back home for fall break. My brother gave me a small bud of some $60 an 1/8 hydro. He left the hotel room I was staying at and I smoked 4 or 5 deep lung filling one hits. The high was the most intense feeling I have ever felt. It was a total head high. I was like every neuron in my brain was firing at once. I got real paranoid. I flushed the last two or three one hits still left on the table down the toilet and hid the one hitter in an empty beer can. I did all this with the lights off cause I was too paranoid to have them on. I lit a cigarette to mask the smell ( I don't even smoke. I had my brother leave one to mask the smell).

So the weed had been flushed and the one hitter was hidden, the lights were off and I kept pacing around saying "no way, no way" Meaning, no way the high could be this intense. About every few minutes I would go into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror and say out load (in a whisper voice) "no way". After about 30 minutes of pacing back and forth and looking at myself in the mirror I stood on the other side of the bed and stared at the peep hole in the door. I could see the light from the hallway and if someone came to the door the peep hole would be blocked. I just stood there staring at the door in the darkness praying no one would knock on the door.

OK, so I am standing there in the darkness staring at the door and I pull my penis out and start masturbating. I did not even make a conscious decision to masturbate I just started doing it like I was on auto pilot. I was so numb down there I could not get hard.

This is were it got weird!!! After about a minute at a failed attempt to masturbate a thought or a voice not of my own said you could feel anal stimulation. And my body started moving to get my hair brush and a plastic bag my shoes were in (the bag went over the handle like a condom). I had no control. In fact as I was looking for the plastic bag I was screaming at myself to stop with this thought of shoving my brush handle up my butt. But again I was on auto pilot. I fact a thought or a voice not my own was saying things I "oh, I am going to fuck your ass good" and other things to that nature.

As I held the hair brush in my right hand and started to undress myself with my left hand. I was screaming again to stop. The reality of what I was doing was scary. I could not stop myself, again it was like I had no control over my own body.

I pulled my pajama bottoms down to my ankles and took my shirt off. I actually grab my own hair with my left hand and forced myself down on all fours. And to tel you the truth I enjoyed the pain of my hair being pulled. I inserted the brush handle in and I enjoyed that pain even more. I could definitely "feel" that. I did this act on myself for most of the night or at least two hours. I stopped once half way though to wash the blood and poop off the handle.

In my mind I was screaming " I am raping myself, I am raping myself" When I got to the bathroom and turned the light and saw my face in the mirror I don't even know what to say I was screaming on the inside to stop this but I was not stopping. I turned off the bathroom light and a thought or a voice said something like "get ready for round two." And with my left hand I grabbed my hair and forced myself onto all fours again and proceeded to do round two.

Finally it was over. I had had my fill and this time when I went to the bathroom to wash off the blood and poop of the brush handle I asked myself if I could be done and I said "yes you have had a enough." I left the brush handle in the sink and I went out to the room and turned on the light.

I started to cry when I saw the sight of poop and blood all over the carpet. Four large piles of runny carpet staining poop and drips of red blood were all over the carpet next to the bed. I was crying because my brother was coming back to the hotel room later that day after he got off work and the room smelled like poop and there were poop and blood stains all over the carpet.

So I was standing there crying and repeating "What have you done, What have you done. You just raped yourself. What have you done"

After about 30 minutes of crying and thinking about the fact that I had just forced myself to shove a brush handle in and out of my butt for two hours, causing this poop and blood mess on the carpet, and thinking my brother is only twenty minutes away, I starting cleaning the plies of poop and blood drippings with a t-shit and a hotel towel.

It took about an hour and a half and me clogging the sink and shower drain with poop to get the carpet cleaned. It actually turned pretty out good. The stains were gone as far as I could see in the dim light.

I took and shower and got in bed around 6 am and just stared at the ceiling thinking about what I had just done, the fact that I had no control over my mind or body, and how was I going to explain why the room smells like poop and why there are brown and red stains on the floor to my cousin.

The intense high started to wear off around 10 am and I decide to just leave town. So I check out a day early and told my cousin I left a day early and I could not even tell him why.

It has been a few months now and I don't think about it everyday anymore like I use to. In fact as I am writing this I can hardly believe it really happened, like it was just a bad dream or something.

But it did happen and I had to tell someone. So there, I told you guys here on blue light.

So that is my story. That was the last time I smoke pot.