Kids...Grrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!

[Speed]

It’s only been a month since we finished off the kids bedrooms. New beds, wallpaper, furniture and carpets and has set us back a pretty penny. Gradually going through each room in the new house for when funds allow. The other day we noticed that in one of the bedrooms one of the kids had marked the wallpaper with what looks like paint and no amount of scrubbing managed to get it off. She (6 yr old) was told off and promised to not to do it again etc etc. This was all in front of the lad (7 yr old) as well.

Last night we noticed that he had burnt a big hole in the new carpet with matches that he found in the boxes that are still in the hallway from the move. The matches were well hidden in there so it’s not as if they were laying on the side. Extremely pi**ed off and it’s not as if we can cover it by a rug as it’s more to the side of the room near a chest of drawers

It’s his birthday next week and we was going to get him a tv for his bedroom, that can now go for a burton. Recently they both have been going against what is being said by me and their mum and doing the exact same thing minutes later. I know kid’s are inquisitive and curious but we want him to really learn from this and learn to respect his things. Also the fact that if a fire had spread then it could have had tragic consequences. Banning him from tv, games etc doesn't really work as he finds other things to keep himself busy. Any ideas apart from a good kicking?

[Benson_JV]

Apart from a good kicking? A good belting.
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[supZ]

kids will be kids..

when i was a nipper i had drawn on walls, thrown darts at chest of drawers, and various other silly things.

tell 'em off sure, but they're kids.. they're going to do silly things like that.
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[Skudd]

Is that all they have done?

Yellow crayon on a white radiator is good, as is a tube of toothpaste into a dark blue carpet. Pulling wallpaper off the wall,drawing on the wall, locking the bathroom door and then screaming because they cant get out. Washing up liquid in the fish pond. Spanners in the exhaust. The list goes on.

Parenting is such good fun......................................... Honest.
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[Hetzer]

Mine would have got their arses well tanned for that (the fire shizzle). As in screaming in pain tanned.
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[neatbik]

Drawing on walls is going to happen, there is no point getting worked up over it. In the grand scheme of things its not important.

The fire thing is different though, that could have ended very badly.
If one of mine were to do that they would get a severe bollocking, grounded and with loss of priveliges.

[Speed]

Don't get me wrong, the whole wall thing was annoying but it was quickly forgotten about. I know kids do that kind of stuff most of the time but that's just kids for you but the fire issue frankly scares the sh*t out of me and something like that doesn't just get brushed aside after a bollocking. He threw a tantrum the other week back because his mates at school get to play outside in the street and yet we don't let him. We told him if he demonstates that we can trust him then he can start doing some of the things his mates do but after this episode i doubt that will be for some time yet. Plus with the whole Kevin Webster thing, they ain't safe anymore

https://primetime.unrealitytv.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/kevin-jack.jpeg

[map]

The PC brigade would have you give them a good talking to and told to go sit on the naughty step until they say sorry.

I guess I would not be part of the PC brigade when it comes to lighting matches and burning stuff in the house.

I attach this image for your perusal...
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[neatbik]

Just wait till they become teenagers.....

[Rogerborg]

[CarlosCBR]

Sounds like a case of learning your boundaries and seeing what they can and cant get away with. A very stern telling off coupled with a few slaps to the back of the thighs should do the trick.

My god i remember how much that hurt when i were a kid, certainly ensured i didnt do what i wasnt meant to do again.
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[mistergixer]

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or

https://images.shoesbymail.co.uk/images/products/zoom/1354365571-00009900.jpg

Only language they understand.


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[Recluso]

Is it possible that they're acting out over the move? Moves are classified as one of the most stressful things you can do, and that likely has an impact on children.

I can understand letting the wall drawing go. But if your little one IS stretching her creative wings, why not try setting up a big board with paper stapled on to let her run wild on? Pens/ink/paint/etc seem to have some built in fascination for kids, so you might find giving her a bit of 'running ground' might stop her drawing on the paper again.

As for the carpet burning? I think you need to sit sprog down and point out not so much the 'omg carpet!' but the 'omg you could have killed us!!!!' aspect. He's 7 and right and wrong will have been established. It's an awkward situation like you say, but I think in this instance, the gravity of what COULD have happened needs to be scared into him a bit I think.

As for punishment side, if taking things away doesn't help, try something else such as menial chores or something else you KNOW he dislikes (i.e. helping mum tidy up). I don't blame you for not letting him run around in the road. At that age he SHOULDN'T be running around in the road. For me at that age it was round a friend's house/in the garden or not at all. Road playing was an absolute no go because we had problems with the local teens hooning it up and down in their 'brand new' cars.

I've had my fair share of slaps in the past. And I deserved them. But I think that in this instance punishment isn't so much the lesson to be learned as it is to be aware of the consequences of his actions and what he COULD have done.

If that makes sense?

Good luck with them, hopefully things will settle down soon.
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[spaz]

Remove the carpets, wallpaper, bedframe and any other 'creature comforts'.

Give them a mattress each on the floor, along with some itchy blankets to keep 'em warm.

A bit of 'hard routine' will ensure they appreciate those creature comforts.
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"If it's got tits or an engine, it'll be trouble"

[The Shaggy D.A.]

I got the shit beat out of me for lighting a fire in my bedroom in the back of my Tonka truck. I did not do it again.
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[kawakid]

I hate wallpaper as soon as I moved in, it was all removed.

Luckily when kids ever do mess up the wall it can be easily rectified, with a cloth or worse case paint.

Luckily we don't smoke so no matches.
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I've a twin and a 4.

[thx1138]

my dad told me not to melt things like airfix models in my room cos the fumes were bad, he gave me a blow torch and told me to do it properly in the back yard

[J.M.]

Make them pay for the damages. They'll stop doing it.

I was kicking stones back on to the drive before, not that hard, but one bounced up and smashed the window to the side of the front door. I had to pay for it out of my pocket money of about 50p-£1 a week (although I probably only had to pay £25-30 of it... but that was a long time of no money. I was only in primary school (year 3 or something), but I learnt that lesson for sure.
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[Wonko The Sane]

Could you speak to your local fire station about bringing the kids to look round, many of them are quite open to it or even have open days where they show kids round along with emphasising that fire can be dangerous and not to play with matches etc.

I remember that I was shit scared of fire when growing up and some nights struggled to get to sleep even though my bedroom had patio doors out into the garden for a quick exit!

With regards to the writing / drawing on walls, perhaps a walk round your area pointing out how ugly graffiti makes a building or place, if there's a skate park with an example of graffiti as an art form then you're able to explain that in some places it's acceptable as art, their bedroom isn't one of them!

I knew of one person who used to stick a piece of paper up on one bit of wall on the end of the kitchen units as the kid's graffiti wall, they could draw what they liked there and when the paper was full, it would be changed.
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[Speed]

Thanks for the ideas everyone

What makes me laugh is the fact that the fire brigade recently went round the school pointing out the dangers of fire etc

[SlimRick]

You left matches within reach of a 7 year old, and it's his fault he finds them and plays with them? Like has been said, kids are curious and will play with things they are not supposed to if they have the opportunity.
IMO - this is not a time for punishment, but for education about the dangers of playing with matches. Show them this:

https://www.zombietime.com/thai_jihad_photos/thai_jihad_13.jpg

[Alpha-9]

[Supermotard37...]

When I was a child and used to break the rules of the house I would get battered same with my brother and say if we were fighting or something and we broke a door or a chair we would literally exit the house as fast as we could and go hide,at a friends house or the woods because We were that terrified of taking a beating for being lil turd's and I don't dislike my dad for it cause he's been awsome to me and to befair if I have kids someday they'll get the exact same treatment because it will hopefully save them from becoming scum
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