I dont feel anything - RIP

[R1stu]

Well last night I got told my mum died. She had been in hospital for about two weeks now.

She was ment to come out on tuesday but she still felt bad. I went to visit her Sat and she said shes dieing but shes been telling me that for ages, and she kept telling me "As far as everyone else is aware if they ask I'm dieing" and then change the subject when anyone walks in.

She always managed to blame me for a lot of stuff and moan at me for anything and anytime I visited her at home or in the hospital she moaned at me or just made me small.

Due to the fact she was meant to be coming home I said I come over a few days later when paid and she her. But Never got the chance.

The thing is I don't feel anything at the moment and I don't know if this is right or not?

I don't feel sad, angry or anything like that really. My daughter was with me when I got the call and heard everything and started screaming, She is so upset she had to go home. ITs her birthday tuesday and she wishes her nanny could be there to see her turn 13. My son is too young to understand, and she never got to see her 3rd grandchild yet.

I feel sorry for her other half. He had a nervous breakdown at the beginning of last year and has had to retire. He has since spent the rest of his time in the spare room watching TV or asleep in bed, her hardly left the house and when he wasn't doing nothing my my mum made him run around after her.

It don't feel right I have more feelings worrying about him I know this may push him over the edge and may send him back into the nuthouse.

I was 11 when my dad died, so this is new the way I have to deal with things.
____________________
Carbon closet tart! https://www.bikepics.com/members/r6stuk/02r6/
Stolen bike. 2000 R1: https://www.bikepics.com/members/r6stuk/00r1/
Current bike 1991 Honda ST1100 Pan European, 1986 Honda cb350sg (Finished)

[nickyboy4]

Don't feel bad about not feeling anything-my mam died six years ago and i absolutely adored her but when she died i didn't shed a tear! Some things are for the best and people get to the stage where they either get on with life or decide they just don't see the point in living. When someone close dies, it always affects you in a different way to how you expected it would, i cried at a mates funeral but not at my mams-doesn't mean i didn't love her more than i did my mate!

[P.addy]

Took me a while to feel anything when I lost my brother recently... shit takes time.

Sorry to hear about that though, crap stuff

[mysterious_rider]

Sorry to hear that mate. RIP.
____________________
KAWASAKIIIII

[Commuter_Tim]

My condolences.

Doctors seems to swear by the 5 stages of grief.
It seems you're in stage 1.

I have experienced the same, you're numb for a little while, then your brain starts to deal with it when ready to cope with it.

[GhostRider]

Me and my bro dreaded the day our grandad would pass away as we knew it would completely destroy my mom.

However she surprised us by keeping her shit together like I couldn't have imagined, I even asked if she was holding back for anyone elses sake and she said she wasn't, and I believed her as shes not the type to lie or lock away her emotions. I think part of her felt relieved that he wasn't suffering anymore.

In any case I never saw her loose her shit, and I fully expected her to be distraught for a very long time. I think it surprised her as much as it did me, I guess you don't know how exactly you will react to the death of someone until it happens, despite even what you expect yourself to be like.

GhostRider
____________________
I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

[P.addy]

I think some of it is realisation that the older ones in my family aren't going to be around forever... I know my parents are going to pass away before I do (we would hope anyway...) and I have no idea how I will act then... but I personally think I'll be fairly level headed with it all and understand they were old, getting older and that is that.

But, we are all different... I cried like a little girl when my brother died and now when I think of him, it half makes me smile, but also gets me upset as I didn't see him as much as I wanted

[Furrybiker]

When my mum died I was 25 I was very close to her but although I cried at the time it wasn't as much as I thought I would. Perhaps it was having my grandparents still around and realising it was worse for them , having lost a daughter.

However for maybe a year afterwards anything could send me off into floods of tears, especially after a beer or two.

Good luck mate.

[keggyhander]

What you're experiencing is normal. Don't worry about it.

Some people need to be seen to be grieving. Others grieve privately, at a later date.

[scorps]

i had a few tears, a few weeks after my mother died, but that was for the mother I never had more than grief for her. I expect my situation was different from yours
____________________
Do not presume that I am male.

[Clanger]

Everyone grieves differently from the next, there is no manual stating: this is the way you should behave or feel. When my maternal Grandfather died I didn't shed a tear, I was actually really pleased for him that he 'just dropped dead' with no illness or pain or anything (the way I hope I go).

But when my paternal Gramps died 2yrs ago I was in pieces, and still have a boo every now and then when I think about him...

Give yourself a break, and don't worry yourself about being weird or whatever...
____________________
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind - Dr. Seuss

[whitmorereans]

It's OK. My granddad died last April, and we were really close - he really was the finest man I will ever know. It still hasn't really hit me yet that he's gone, I haven't cried at all.
What you feel is normal, people grieve in different ways and it takes time.
It's good that you feel for your mum's other half, we shouldn't forget those who have gone, but it's a great thing that you're there for those who are feeling the loss more immediately than you are.

[Pigeon]

Sorry for your families loss. Everyone has already said everything really.

My Uncle died in 2011 from a Heart Attack (in a hospital car park).

Felt a bit numb, but nothing like the reaction I'd thought I'd have given how close we were. Then 3 weeks later at the funeral, walking in and sitting in front of the coffin. Really struggled not to lose my shit.
Just about held it together, then outside over the grave, as the Vicar said "ashes to ashes, dust to dust", the sun came out, a warm breeze got up and a family of small birds flew over our heads, dancing on the wind all chatting to each other. Lost it.

Can't predict these sort of emotional responses. However it happens is just how you are made up. Don't worry about what you think you should be feeling. Just let it be.

[Fizzer Thou]

My dear old Dad passed away about five years ago now,and I still well up a bit when I cannot help but think about him.But when my step-father died I felt nothing.It was not until his funeral that I saw the grief that my half-brother was experiencing and that was when I felt something similar,for him rather than my step-father.

As for my mum,just at the moment I do not think about what the future holds for when she passes away.I have more thoughts for what Mrs.Fizzer will go through when her parents pass on than my own.

Strangely I show a great deal of emotion when a friend passes away for whatever reason.Seeing the grieving family of a friend,I find very difficult.
____________________
Just talk bikes.What else is there?

Always have a 'Plan B'