How to Handle a Knob. Help please!

[Tracey Suntan-King]

My teenage daughter (16) has been sent knob pics by a boy in her year. She's annoyed rather than offended and certainly doesnt want to go to the "authorities".

So my plea to the amassed wit and wisdom of BCF is for suggestions for withering (literally) put-downs that she could use when he does it again.

Any suggestion, please?


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Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're probably right

[Hetzer]

Text reply: "Odious nonce".
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"There's the horizon! Ride hard, ride fast and cut down all who stand in your way!"

[HJM]

Just reply back with a witty joke about how small his dick is, it will make him feel ashamed and he won't be doing it again thats for shoo!

Heres 50.

1. When you got circumcised, did it take more than one try?
2. Your dick's so small, you can sodomize anys.
3. Your dick's so small, you can masturbate through the slits in a fork
4. Your dick's so small, you rent out the Hubbell when you have to piss.
5. Your dick's so small, bacteria laugh at it.
6. Your dick's so small, you could screw a pasta strainer.
7. Your dick's so small, the doctor wasn't quite sure what you were.
8. I never knew you could have a belly button under your stomach.
9. Your dick's so thin, I've seen paper clips wider.
10. Your dick's so crooked, it's like a compass, it always points north.
11. There's bread harder than your dick.
12. Your dick's so small, you could get a B.J. from a crease in a lip.
13. Your dick's so small, the police filed it a missing person.
14. Your dick's so small, a cop frisks you and asks, "Sex change?"
15. Your dick's so thin, you could turn it sideways and it'd disappear.
16. Your dick's so thin, Calista Flockhart (Ally McBeal) is jealous.
17. Your dick's so small, when you have sex, girls ask if it's in yet.
18. Your dick's so ugly, it's like a pimple with a pulse.
19. When you go swimming in cold water, does your dick get bigger?
20. Your confusin an inch with a foot again.
21. Your dick's so small, satisfying a woman for you is "Mission: Impossible".
22. There's a wrinkle in your pants, you hard?
23. How about I kick you in the nuts? That's a foot. Contrast and compare.
24. Your dick's so small, when you were born, the doctor smacked the wrong side.
25. Are you ever gonna get that wart lanced?
26. What does a man with a small penis have for breakfast? (PAUSE) I dunno, what'd you have?
27. Your dick's so thin, paper called you up and said, "YOU BASTARD!"
28. Your dick's so small, it sleeps in a matchbox with a cotton swab pillow.
29. Your dick's so small, you'll never be half the man your mother was.
30. Your dick's so small, you could use a thimble and fishing line for a thong.
31. Your dick's so small, I haven't laughed that hard since I saw your balls.
32. Your dick's so small, your condoms look like the thumb of a latex glove.
33. I bet you can make your dick disappear by breathing in and out.
34. Your dick's so ugly it cries itself to sleep at night.
35. Your dick's so small, you stand next to a light switch naked all day crying.
36. You got less meat in your pants than there is in a vegetarian restaurant.
37. After hours of going at it with a woman, she yawns and asks if you're done yet.
38. Your dick's so small, it looks like one of the California raisins.
39. Your dick must be tiny, I heard you had sex with a shower head.
40. When you get hard it looks like a toothpick.
41. Your dick's so thin, it represents Weight Watchers.
42. Your dick's so ugly, they put in fields to scare away the crows.
43. Your dick's so small, your girlfriend took it to court and they threw it out for lack of evidence.
44. The only time you can give a woman orgasm is when you pull out your American Express.
45. Your dick's so small, you think it's gonna explode when you cum.
46. Your doctor called he said you had a small problem.
47. You have to put the seat down to piss, right?
48. The only thing your dick's bigger than is a grain of dust.
49. Your dick's so small, you piss on your nuts.
50. Your dick's so small, sperm's a tight squeeze.
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"90% of all statistics are made up"

CBT-18/04/2013

[P.addy]

Photo some shit in the toilet (can provide this if req'd) and state you had more satisfaction from that than you would get from said shrimp.

That or be lady like and send tits back

[J0Al1]

I had one showed to me at work (a pic that is on his mobile)... few years back.

Dont be rude to him back - that just makes you childish.
Dont encorage it by laughing say or saying its big or anything.

Ask him to stop, in writing (email?), tell him you don't like it and it is a form of sexual harrasment.

Thats his warning.

If he does it again, inform the head teacher.

Worked for me. He shat himself and appologised.

[J0Al1]

Oh and my advise came from my sister who is a lawyer :0

[Ollie1995]

Get her to post it on FB
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XR 125, DT125 LC, Greeves Scottish, RS200, XS400, GPX600r

Theory Passed - 18/7/13 MOD1 Booked - 24/9/13

[Sload]

All far too official and sensible, cant she just either start rumors around the school about his pea sized cock, or even just walk up and kick him in the nuts, or both? She could say she was checking if he had anything down there.
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Honda Varadero >> Triumph Speed Four >> Honda CBR1100xx

[CaNsA]

Nobcat can help.

Or

Enter phone number many many times

[Sload]

Or give Cansa his facebook link, strictly off BCF though
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Honda Varadero >> Triumph Speed Four >> Honda CBR1100xx

[silky666]

She should reply with the response that Mrs. Silkys best freind did when I sent her a picture of my cock last week.

She simply replied with: " oooh! its like a penis ... only smaller "
She then showed it to all her pilates mates.


I have informed Mrs Silky that I will not be doing that again.
My ego wont take it.



(note: For the information of the authorities - it was not an unsolicited image .. i was asked to send it by the receiver, as part of a long running joke)
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There's nothing that shouts "Poor Workmanship" more than wrinkles in the Gaffa tape.

Gaffa tape is like "the force" - it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

[Rogerborg]

https://rogerborg.dnsd.me/little-finger.jpg
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Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[P.addy]

[CaNsA]

shop some herpes onto it, print it off and send it to his mate

[Ollie1995]

meh, frofro posts all sorts of shit and doesn't get banned
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XR 125, DT125 LC, Greeves Scottish, RS200, XS400, GPX600r

Theory Passed - 18/7/13 MOD1 Booked - 24/9/13

[DrDonnyBrago]

Send it to his mum.

[supZ]

send back a pic of yours?

edit:
im surprised no ones suggested sending nobcat back (or editing said cat onto his pic?)
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CBR954RR - Daily toy
CBR600RR - Trackbike

[chris-red]

Tell her to show it to all his and her mates and take the piss out of him.
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Well, you know what they say. If you want to save the world, you have to push a few old ladies down the stairs.
Skudd:- Perhaps she just thinks you are a window licker and is being nice just in case she becomes another Jill Dando.
WANTED:- Fujinon (Fuji) M42 (Screw on) lenses, let me know if you have anything.

[Aff]

[Villers]

How about an anonymous but official looking text that states the number is under investigation under the sex crimes act x x code x x 'distribution of illicit material to a minor' carries penalty of 'x' then let him sweat it out?
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RS125 > CBR6 > SV650S > ZX636R > GSX1300RZ Hayabusa > 06 RSVR Mille > SV1000S > Street Triple 765 RS

[Pete.]

TBH this is the first instance I've heard of where a Tracey didn't know what to do with a knob...
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a.k.a 'Geri'

132.9mph off and walked away. Gear is good, gear is good, gear is very very good

[-LG-]

How old is the guy sending it?
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Snow rider wrote: I'm far to annoying to be near for long periods of time

[James83]

"My dads a doctor and says you might want to get that lump checked."

[Tracey Suntan-King]

[CaNsA]

I'm still waiting for his mobile number and facebook addy.....

chop chop