evil twisted ex and son

[daffy]

im completely wtf'ing here and still trying to get my heard round it but here is whats happened and i have no idea wot to do or where to go.

me and the other half was doing allright, been through rough patches etc but who hasn't in 6+ year relationship, was living with her parents as we both worked, I left at start of year as things between us was rough which worked as we both got on allot better and it was like we just met all over again untill last weekend when she decides she doesnt want to be with me ( after we get back from the beach having a brill day out ), im a cunt/ to blame etc and starts making threats she moving away on friday ( yesterday ) she's telling her mum one thing and me different in the hope of turning her mum against me, although its not working and her mum can see through it.

yeah you guessed it, she's quit her job (she's paid monthly and is due to be paid any day) been to the council/housing obviously told them a pack a lies about being homeless and has got a 2 bed house somewhere, took the kid out of school yesturday and told them he wont be back and has disappeared.

I only know this as this is what she's told her mum and her mums told me. the ex wont answer her phone or tell me anything apart from being within an hour away and refusing me access to see my son in case i take him away from her.

Now the kid is treating this as an adventure from what her mums told me but its hardly fair or right to take him away from somewhere where he is settled safe and has friends etc. There was no need for her to leave her job or leave her mums house. her mums in bits about it and so am i in a manly way of course. she has no furniture or household stuff apart from taking some bedding so she is playing the system well and truly. And to make matters worse we went to a country house/ castle few weeks ago to look round to plan a wedding, which was completely her idea and a shock to me.

tl:dr psycho g/f ends relationship and disapears with son within a week.

[anthony_r6]

Erratic behaviour? Could be unstable. Police?
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[CaNsA]

[c_dug]

To be honest if it was just her then I would think you'd gotten off lightly as there is clearly a screw loose somewhere and would suggest you move on.

The fact she has taken her kid out of school means her fucked-up-ness is effecting more than just her. You need to let somebody know for the sake of the kid.
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[Skudd]

Always makes me laugh when women keep kids away from their fathers in case the father does the same thing. So the father always loses as they are always seen in the negative and everything is geared up for the woman.

Even getting a house, I was looking after the kids full time but was still classed as a single male, but if it was a woman she would have got a house straight away.
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[Keir]

housing etc doesnt happen this quickly. shes been planning this for a while i would suspect.
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[Skudd]

[daffy]

Unfortunitly housing can and does happen that quickly in some cases. Only thing I can see I can do is to try and stay as stable as possible n be there for him when he needs. Police n social won't do a thing as she's his mum n aslong as he's not in phyiscal danager its ok to disrupt him mentaly by the looks.

[Rogerborg]

Sorry to hear this. Sounds like she's a proper mental, but the system is set up for her benefit.

This thread is proper Kradbait, should get a novella out of it.
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[Sload]

I would have suggested speaking to social services about your fears, but it's possible I guess that she may be ahead of you on this. If she is unstable there is no telling what she may have told them about you.

Hopefully someone with experience will be able to point you in the correct direction.
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[marsden1967]

If you want to see the nipper again seek legal advice as soon as you can re; access, custody etc. Unless there are grounds for restricting access e.g abuse of some sort, then you should gain access/custody rights, whatever.
Regarding your relationship I don't really know what to say. Is there a chance that she could be with another bloke? What has her mum got to say about the situation, what has she told her mum?
good luck anyway.
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[daffy]

don't think she's told her mum anything tbh. As for relationship, fuck it, she doesn't deserve to have or know me. although saying it doesn't make it any easier.

so much for fathers day, first day in 6 years where I've not had a card or anything. still don't know where or who he's with. As for solicitors etc i would love to avoid them as all they care about is money but its looking like that's the only option doesn't it.

[BTTD]

So can we conclude that she's either highly unstable, highly devious or both?
Once you take on the idea that she's not who you used to think she was you can make unimpassioned decisions.
And hope they're the right ones.

Sincerely wish you the best of luck, sounds like a steaming pile.

[cretin box]

Social services are under-resourced and overworked, but they're not stupid: they will look at both sides of the story. I would urge you to contact them for the sake of the kid. If she's clearly loopy, got no furniture etc, they'll be concerned for the child. If you and her parents are clean, concerned and generally act sensible they will base their decisions on that.

Police will do a welfare check on the kid but if he's not being obviously neglected they won't get involved beyond that - it's not their remit.

She's got no right to deny you access, especially if you've been a good partner and father. If you've been violent to her, expect something official to turn up banning you - if not should see a solicitor to get the ball rolling for some sort of properly worked out contact agreement - which you must both stick to.

Best of luck, for the boy's sake most of all.

[daffy]

Well social services was fucking helpfull, not! Told me it was a matter for the police and they would only get involved if the police requested it. No wonder baby p died with an attitude like that. So I've had to basicly report the other half n child as missing and within an hour the police have found where she is and is getting an officer round to check her situation. Just a shame she's moved to a different county.

[J0Al1]

Good progress despite SS being out of the scene for now.

[garth]

It's so hard not to be sexist when there are so many batshit crazy women out there.

[daffy]

Right then, any one that's been through the courts n tht proces with access pm me or post anything that might help me with this or advice etc?

[Rigga]

How did the rozzers find her so quickly?

[True Blue]

Get to court on first available opportunity, judge/sheriff will grant an interim court order for contact. Don't fuck about, go get it done as soon as poss.
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[bub2006]

I've not seen my son since Christmas 2008 when he was 2 1/2. Things where fine till she met someone else. As my name is on the birth certificate i have same rights as a married couple. I ended up re enforcing the court access order 3 times at a cost of 350 quid each time. Each time i got a letter sayin if she breaks order again she will be liable for fines,prison and all that bollocks but nothing ever happened. I had a letter fro. Social services two years ago saying he was on the at risk register. I went to all the meetings which she didn't attend and everything was going great regards solicitor regaining access and possibly custody. Then it all went quite. She moved to next county and told social services there who just so happen to say my son isn't at risk all of a sudden that im a bad person,violence abusive,drink drugs all that bollocks which is all fabrication of lies. They wont discuss anything with me even though i told them i have parental rights. Nothing is in favour of the father. I wish you all the best mate. Sorry to give you my life story but i have been there. Hope you have more luck than me

[True Blue]

I've spent 14 grand in the last year, fighting to get access to my son. Unfortunately that's what it takes. Hopefully you'll qualify for some sort of legal aid, which will help. You need to come down on her like a sledgehammer, at the slightest hint of trouble. Only then, will it become more of a hassle to her to prevent you seeing your kid, that will be worth it. It'll take a long time, but youll be better for it in the long run.
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[unitynotsocri...]

Cheer up dads,it could be a lot worse and its hard to see the longer term veiw when the scowling misreable bitch,who could?be your ex has played social /state paid security..oh im a victim card,unfortunatly this is far more common,its equality ,i hear..
My first partner,posh accountant/sociopath,left me with the baby,when the kid was two she fked off completly.I was'nt even on birth certificate!years later she went to live with 'mummy'......she ended up being medicaly abused ,with a hole rotted in the roof of her mouth you could shove a biro through....but......after complaining to the ss i was treated as an ex causing trouble,she came back to live with me n ex straight away.
keep your focus on the welfare of the children,the courst/pigs/social chocolate firegaurd workers are only interested in the children.
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[LordShaftesbu...]

[True Blue]

That's a good thing then, as she won't get it either. Whereas in my case, I'm paying through the nose, whilst she is on legal aid with a bottomless Pitt of money to fund her fight. Equality?
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