Marriage has finally collapsed, what the hell do I do now?

[whitmorereans]

Today was a day that seems to have been a long time coming and my wife asked me to leave. So, I've gone (not sure where as I don't have anywhere to go) and even though this has been on the cards for a while it's still feels a bit strange. However, I have no idea what to do next, or indeed any idea what I want out of life. As I'm working part time I can't afford to rent anywhere and due to other commitments taking on extra work isn't practical. All of my friends live some distance away so crashing at someone else's house isn't an option. Even though I haven't really been in the marriage for quite a while, at the moment all I want to do is phone my wife and beg to be allowed to go home.

BTW if anyone wants to tell me to MTFU then please do.

[Hetzer]

Moving to the sofa is usually the first step.
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"There's the horizon! Ride hard, ride fast and cut down all who stand in your way!"

[arry]

Sorry to hear it mate.

I think you need to get the wife to accept you back into the house for a while until you can figure out what to do. Assuming you've just drifted apart, and you've not done anything nasty to her - then it'd be unreasonable for her to leave you with nowhere to go. Once you've both sat down and decided on a course of action in terms of how you actually go about separating, rather than the very easy from her side 'I'd like you to leave please', then you can work towards that which gives you your first real goal.

Once you're back up on your feet again and away from the situation, you can start to think about what else you're going to do with your life.

Best of luck, either way.

[whitmorereans]

[Hetzer]

[m3-paul]

Unless you have given her good reason to go, something like given her a smack or being threatening then tell her to piss off as you are not moving.

Unless the house is solely in her name she can't do jack about it.

I stayed in my house for 11 months and refused to go until I was paid out and my new house purchase had gone through. There wasn't anything she could do as I gave no reason to be thrown out of "my own home".

If you give in at the first hurdle then she will wipe her feet on you.

You have a long and shitty road to go down now, mine (divorce) only completed two months ago so I am speaking from someone who has travelled the very same road.

Don't give in, don't give any reason to cause her to seek a removal order and get legal help. Find a solicitor who supplies legal aid. She needs to know you are not going to roll over and give it all to her on a plate.

Lets just say when my ex-wife started the divorce process she thought she would get it all. She ended up having to pay me a significant amount, had to take a large morgage herself, give her brand new car back to me and I have the kids 50/50. Kind of kicked the wind out of her sails.

This isn't going to away and it is no use denying that it is happening so, get legal aid if you need it, get legal advice and try to think positively. Things are 100% shit, you feel shit and think everything is over but it isn't. Speak to good friends, get that help and you will get over it and be better off for it.
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[Lord Percy]

Yeah - if you don't mind us all prying - it would be good to know why you've split. If you've been horrible then that's the reason. But if it's mutual and she's just being awful..... then that's not fair.

More info needed!

[mad4it028]

i,m pretty much in the same boat wife told me to leave new years day, i also had nowhere to go so i refused to leave and have been on the sofa since, ive told her sell the house or buy me out then i'll be able to afford to rent somwhere,in that time i started talking to a few women online not dateing or anything but it kept me busy and my mind occupied this has helped me alot, i wouldnt take my wife back now if she begged me i hate her for putting me through this we were married 17 years just to hear the old chestnut i love you but im not in love with you bollocks lol who is after 17 years.
Anyway mate get back home get on sofa and refuse to leave untill you are on your feet eles its classed as making yourself homeless and youll get no help from anywhere
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[shereen]

As others have said, dont allow yourself to become homeless over this. What situation are you in, do you have kids, have you purchased your house?

No kids? Then great, less stress. If you have bought your house then it needs to be sold or she/ you need to discuss buying the other one out.

Maybe this is a good opportunity for you to change your life? If you have nothing keeping you here then how about a move abroad?
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[m3-paul]

[whitmorereans]

[Rogerborg]

Did she kick you out because she bought a new doormat?

What possible "other commitments" are stopping you making enough money to live on?

Get back in there, tell her you'll be out when you've got somewhere to go, and if she doesn't like that, there's the door, and she can be the one to figure it out.
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GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[whitmorereans]

[whitmorereans]

[whitmorereans]

[Lord Percy]

Interesting that you backed away from this other love interest? Where's she gone now? If it was pretty strong, maybe it's meant to be?

[Flip]

[whitmorereans]

[binge]

[whitmorereans]

[whitmorereans]

[EazyDuz]

And the moral of the story is, if you are going to have an emotional affair, you may as well turn it into a full on affair and fuck her behind the wifes back for a few months.

Same result in the end anyway.

Hope you get back in your house though, dont take her shit.
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To shreds you say? Tss tss tss

[whitmorereans]

[Flip]

[bezzabsa]

as someone thats just gone through 4 years of hell I can agree with all who say "DO NOT LEAVE" there is no law on earth that can get you out unless you WANT to move out..we hd 3 kids and a house, so u can tell ours was worse, she also did the Ilove you, but am not in love crap too....right up until the time I told her about her affair and the dirty pics she'd been sending..with my so called 'best mate'
needles to say things went arse up from then on...i eventually moved out but she still refused to give me MY stuff that i had paid for managed to finally get them all back though..took some time but was worth it..

shes still a bitch now almost 4 years later..rnd mefusing to let me see my kids, even though our youngest has autism , aspergers and ad/hd...
But I have moved on..found my true soul mate and am seriously comtemplating a move to the scottish islands so i am at least 550 miles from my ex!!!!!