What the hell is this killer spider of doom?

[Minty]

In my garden, evil thing.
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My fingers smell of your mum.

[ThoughtContro...]

Must be evil, it's invisible


Edit: Looks like one of these

https://www.eurospiders.com/steatoda_nobilis_dark_2391.jpg

Steatoda nobilis or a False Widow. Painful bite but not poisonous
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Prize cunt
--
"In a world of universal deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act" - George Orwell

[Minty]

Sorry, had to crop it as too big. Working slowly with mobile phone.
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My fingers smell of your mum.

[Minty]

It bites you say.?

(picks up brick)

Thanks for your help.
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My fingers smell of your mum.

[Nexus Icon]

Go for it, there's millions in the UK. They're arachnid immigrants.
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Greetings from Shitsville!

[Islander]

Coming over here, taking over our webs, eating our flies...

[Minty]

There was a distinct pop. It be biting nobody.
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My fingers smell of your mum.

[Musketeer]

The only way...

https://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq56/pazdzioch7/Steel12.jpg
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Current Bike: Yamaha XSR900 Previous bikes: Honda CBR1000RR Fireblade, Kawasaki ZX-6R Ninja, Aprilia RS125 2-stroke

[GREENI3]

https://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/keep-calm-and-kill-it-with-fire.jpg

[cyberglass]

thats a male it wont bite. female are darker sometimes black and they bite lol got loads in my pond pump box and they kill pretty much anything that moves in there keeping it all clean for me. awesome fluffy bitey bastards so stop bein a bunch of poofs

They only bite if you piss them off heres a female i found chilling on the bike.

https://www.bikechatforums.com/download.php?id=89709
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DL650 Vstrom 2004
DRZ400S 2003
Yamaha R1 2005

[hellkat]

Fuck. That.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[metalangel]

Bleeurrrgh. A sewer main ran under my property so when it got blocked, the water guys had to go into the back yard, lift the three manhole covers and push the effluent through with a long pole to clear it.

The underside of the first cover was absolutely crawling with woodlice and other bugs, and I watched a rather large garden spider charge across, grab one of the bugs and bite it.

So long as it stays outside doing that, I'm fine with it. Unfortunately, sometimes they wander inside, and you spot some movement across the carpet...
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Previous: 2002 Honda CB500 (sold), 2007 Suzuki SV650SK6 (crashed), 2005 Yamaha FZ6 Fazer (sold). Currently bikeless
"A faired bike will get you 10x more clunge than a unfaired one." -Marlboro Matt

[Flip]

We had 2 real Black widows at work the other day. Sadly I didn't get to see them.

[treeno]

Bunch of pussies. I hope some giant alien stamps on you when you're going about your daily business.

[billytwomirro...]

[Rigga]

I once killed a spider with a teabag, what a way to go.... squashed by a fucking giant soggy teabag!
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Current bike: Honda CBR 1100xx

[Acemastr]

Had one (or several) of these living down the end of our utility room for about 2 years, we used to call it the Olympic spider as its webs were literally Olympic style, really big, multiple levels, really odd looking supporting lines between them, it looked fantastic and didn't bother anyone so we just admired it
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2017 KTM 350 XC-F - 2014 Yamaha R6 - 2005 Yamaha YZ125
2016 Toyota Tacoma Limited

[Acemastr]

[Pete.]

[Sako]

I've tried to find the music for the black widows for ages, but can never find it (song that plays whenever they show up)

Seems even the internets doesn't have it

[tbourner]

Poor little spiders.
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Trev, now a biker?
Looking for first big bike.

[Ste]

https://cdn.bikechatforums.com/files/the_only_way_to_be_sure__d71edbcb43f82a0c50cd2cf79b54c9a9.jpg

[Rigga]

[Flip]

[thx1138]

A spider in it's web were on my bike the other day round the mirror and screen, the spider had fallen off by the time I got to Portsmouth, he must be lost now.