Protips for selling your bike on eBay

[Rogerborg]

Don't WASTE YOUR TIME documenting the bike's history, or trivialities like whether it's ever been stolen or written off, or even where it's actually located. No real buyer has TIME TO WASTE reading that, and they'll just assume that you're a liar anyway. If you put substantial information in your advert, you're just encouraging TIME WASTING, and that's no way to start a relationship
Do not put any form of contact phone number in your advert. Everyone knows that the only people who call to ask about bikes are scammers and agents who will just WASTE YOUR TIME. No genuine buyer will ever want to talk to you about the bike, or - god forbid - WASTE THEIR TIME viewing it before making a binding contract to buy it.
You're forming a relationship with the buyer, and as with any relationship, the secret to getting what you want is to ignore them and be unavailable. Do not be available for viewings, despite offering them in the advert. Imagine what a WASTE OF TIME that would be! In fact, don't WASTE YOUR TIME answering your email at all. That will really winnow out those Goddamn TIME WASTERS, at least the ones who aren't desperate and/or insane. The most serious TIME WASTERS are to be found WASTING YOUR TIME at the weekend, to so be sure to choose to end your auction on a sunny Sunday and plan ahead so that you are totally uncontactable as the hours tick away. Laugh as you imagine those idiots WASTING THEIR TIME trying to find someone, anyone, who actually has a bike for sale when they are available to buy one.

Just follow those three simple rules and you can be sure that you'll enjoy the very best that eBay has to offer: "bids" from drunks and fantasists, the joy of paying for another listing as your VED and MOT dwindle away, and the heady thrill of being able to shout RELISTED DUE TO TIME WASTER johnboy69 NO TIME WASTERS THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[Fisty]

The only protip for selling on eBay is don't sell a bike on eBay. Use Gumtree or the free ads papers.
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Quietly and consistently taking the piss.
TL1000R | Hayabusa | ZXR400 | TL1000S | Bandit 400 V
Fatter and faster than Fret

[arry]

I am sensing frustration...

[Rogerborg]

[Eddie Hitler]

To be honest, I see all those as plus points. If they can't be fucked putting that type of information in their ad they won't see my money. Job done, next ad please.

[Rogerborg]

In principle, I agree. In practice, all the owners of the bikes that I'm after seem to have formed a cabal: they're all on eBay, and all uncontactable.

How did they arrange that with each other? Mental telepathy? Astral projection?
____________________
Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[Eddie Hitler]

They all know it's you calling. Word spreads fast.

[pepperami]

Why is it when you find a bike on Thiefbay that suits your list of wants and you think that's the one for me, It`s always eleventeen million miles away ???

Is that pixie magic as well? does nobody near were you live ever want to sell a bike that you might like??
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I am the sum total of my own existence, what went before makes me who I am now!

[Rogerborg]

Well, I'm seeing a couple listed, one within 5 miles. But apparently that's not the same as "for sale".

[jeddy11]

Stick it on a ebay classified 13 quid for 28 days ? if it goes it goes !! you can set it up for offers as well etc..only serious people will phone hopefully.
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Fuelly My Z1000SX
cbt 06/08/11 mod1 (second go) 01/08/12 mod2 21/09/12
Varadero Viking YBR125>Varadero125>ER6F>Z1000SX !!!

[N cee thirty]

too many spastics about, every time someone rang, they always asked about information that was already in the ad, in the end i put the bare bones and a genuine guy came and took it off my hands

Gumtree wins again, ebay's had its chance.
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'00 Aprilia RS50 > '92 Honda CG > '99 Yamaha Fazer > '91 Yamaha RXS > '79 Suzuki X5 > 01' Honda Cg > 07' Honda Cg > 82' Kawasaki Z200 > suzuki gsxr 400 gk73a > honda vfr 400 NC30 Mod 2 Passed 09/06/2011

Jewlio Iglesias wrote: I actually did vote BNP once

[Rogerborg]

You wouldn't think it was that hard, would you?

There's one on auction ending tonight with 1 bid. After it closes (and I won't be bidding) I'll let the "seller" know that I might still be interested in viewing when their "bidder" busts out the "Actually, mate, I've just lost my job and the dog ate my savings..."

The other two are classifieds, both ending in two days. They're both comically over-priced for the age and/or condition. One of them has the entire description (and it's all faults) in a one sentence "note". The other (and I've just this moment found it) is posted in "Vehicle parts and accessories", which has to be the full retard of TIME WASTING.

Well, at least I got the grass cut today...
____________________
Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[stinkwheel]

My Dad had a totally new level of fuckwittery a couple of months back.

He went to view a car from a classified ad on ebay. Drove up to see it, liked what he saw, tried a little haggling but couldn't get him to budge. Eventually offered him the full asking price in cash...

The guy wouldn't sell it to him because he had someone else coming to view it later !

He landed up leaving with his money still in his pocket and buying a car somewhere else on the way home.
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“Rule one: Always stick around for one more drink. That's when things happen. That's when you find out everything you want to know.”
I did the 2010 Round Britain Rally on my 350 Bullet. 89 landmarks, 3 months, 9,500 miles.

[ajag]

[stinkwheel]

[andys675]

last bike I sold through an ebay classified ad resulted in no serious interest and by about 14 days had attracted 3 or 4 scammers who sent the usual emails offering the asking price which when replied to then mentioned shipping agents, so were then ignored and because ebay is faceless and full of chancers attracted 3 or 4 bids well below the very reasonable asking price I had put on as I wanted to sell quickly. NEVER AGAIN!
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Some people feel the rain, others just get wet.

[Rogerborg]

Ah, a reply! I asked: why haven't you put it through an MOT, where is it, and when would it suit you to view it?

Reply: "call me on [phone number]". Just that. Nothing else. No name, even.

This is someone who would like me to give them money.

While I'm clearing out garage space, I put some stuff on Freecycle. I said: please let me know when you would be able to collect. Here is the first reply, which I quote verbatim:

[johnsmith222]

[Rogerborg]

I doubt they've thought it through that far, but it's hardly reassuring.

Oh, the auction one ended, 3 bids, 2 of them last second snipes - so I'm guessing haven't viewed it- and a bargain price if it's honest. I'd have pushed it higher, if the seller had actually been available on the day that they chose to conclude their auction.

Thing used to be a lot simpler when you just stuck a note in the local rag and said "Have vehicle, call me."
____________________
Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[Sload]

Was planning to sell a car via the bay soon, you have me concerned
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Honda Varadero >> Triumph Speed Four >> Honda CBR1100xx

[garth]

[Rogerborg]

"Car for very reluctant sale, she is too good for the likes of you. Located in the Western hemisphere (subject to change)."

Woo hoo, I've managed to get in touch with one of the classified sellers this morning!

He's actually a very nice mister, and is prepared to do me a massive favour by letting his no-MOT, no-VED, off-the-MID, flat battery, faulty vehicle go for only £200 or so over the "private good" value, or about £600 more than he could trade it in for, if he could trade it in.

Proper diamond bloke, I'll smash my piggy bank and see if I have enough pennies.
____________________
Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[STONEY!]

Hi All

Just a quick note from the other side of the fence, I sell bikes and cars on ebay, here's some points:

I do try and write a full and honest description of every bike/car, but still get hundreds of emails asking for info that's already in the description.

I will give my phone number out and offer viewings but only if the request is properly and politely worded, and doesn't include any idiotic requests, cash offers, swaps well below value, or the usual "ow much 4 cash m8"

on average 1 in every 10 items I sell, the buyer never makes contact, I recently sold a cbr 600 and the winning bidder didn't contact me for a week but had his number registered on ebay so I gave him a quick call to see if he was still interested, he replied saying "dont wanit no more call me again and I'll murk ya up bruv"

[map]

[piazza]

On the flip side having advertised my RXS around this time last year I got 47 text messages over the course of 2 month's and not a single person came out to see it, well, one did!

An old Irish guy - with family, all 5 of them- didn't even know it was a 2 stroke, couldn't drive a bike and promptly offered me almost what I wanted for it! my spider senses tingling I refused

If I were in england I'm sure it would have sold no problem!

What is it your looking for Roger? I'm not far from you