Todays - What grinds my gears *ARCHIVE*

[recman]

[Howling Terror]

Always be aware of German Shepherds and the other guarding breeds. Nothing to do with ….ohh why do we bother.

It'll most likely be a Jack Russell or a Collie that'll bite yer anyway.
Chihuahua are also bitey blighters.


Vast swathes of Romanians with herds of Chihuahuas should be mpd69's biggest fear.
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[Nobby the Bastard]

I have 3 chihuahuas, btw.
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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha:"Remember this simple rule - scooters are for men who like to feel the breeze on their huge, flapping cunt lips."
Sprint ST 1050

[Howling Terror]

Nobby with 3 Chihuahuas probably equates to a major swathe and best avoided.
____________________
Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[Ribenapigeon]

[hellkat]

Sprayed some aftershave that's been lurking round my bathroom for years, which the last boyf left behind ("Le Male" - JPG)

Smells okay actually, doesn't remind me of him (thankfully) and I quite like it.

Oh wait, forgotten why it grinds my gears. ( #stoner )
Will come back to re-edit when I remember why.

Edit: Still can't remember.

Edit edit: Think it was cos it was a teensy bit cloying after a while. But I could still use it to spritz the old minge, keep things respectable down there I suppose. *shrug*
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[-]

[Howling Terror]

[-]

[Howling Terror]

Rated my post as abusive... gimme a break. I think I can see your bones through your skin.

Sue me.
____________________
Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[hellkat]

[Ribenapigeon]

[-]

[Nobby the Bastard]

[Ribenapigeon]

Anthony Joshua. Take the stupid headphones off. Dumb b@strd.

[A100man]

[hellkat]

Not quite sure what's been going on in my house today.
I think the fact that the cleaning lady is four days late has something to do with it.

She's done what I told her (i.e. ignore the living room - which is a tip, partially packing cases which I am going to have to sort out into "going back to NZ" or "going down to the dump" and also now including half unpacked holiday suitcases) - she is the least overworked cleaning lady in the country and still manages not to completely mop my very small bathroom floor effectively: there is still fluff in there that was there from when she last missed it over three weeks ago before I even went away! ... but she's also somehow confused the cat flap into locking itself from the outside.

So Longshanks, the world's stupidest cat, is out there miaowing and peering at me beggingly through the glass of the door. I told him if he can't get in the back, then to go round the front of the house. He could probably headbutt it open but he is too stupid to realise that, and is clearly panicking that he is missing out on some food. He's incredibly dense

I'm too lazy to move all the crap from in front of the back door (hoover, clothes dryer, cobwebby old Crocs, packing crates, brooms, etc) ... but he's not especially bright and he panics easily, so has probably forgotten that its possible to jump the (seven or so) fences and go round to the front where I would let him in, if he miaowed at the front window. He's done it before, I suspect he followed Lawrence that way once, so its not as if it's something he doesn't know how to do.

On the other hand, Lawrence has just gone out the cat flap as well, but he is much more streetwise, and knows how to get round to the front without any hesitation. Because he is a wily cat about town type of geezer. Its quite likely that he will eventually saunter out from behind a car when I am about to leave for work in the morning causing me to let him back in the front door.

But its entirely possible that Longshanks will still be out the back, miaowing and panicking.
Because he *is* that stupid.
If he is still there tomorrow evening I might unlock the back door and let him in. Cos I am nice like that.

Dennis the tripod cat, meanwhile, is smart; she has taken up residence on the north eastern corner of my bed and will stay put until the snow thaws on the bluebells
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[hellkat]

Men.
Men are starting to grind my gears.

I almost never complain about men. They are a never ending source of amusement, mechanical information, peanut butter sandwiches, circlips or lifts into town.

But just how much information do I have to give them in order for them to realise I am interested in them? How much is too much? How much is too little?

I asked one (somewhat ingenuously) whether he had any single male friends that I could play with. He responded by saying that he found it "hard to believe a woman like you would be on her own". I invested over half an hour in chat (which I hate) in getting to know him better, and comparing notes on hash oil and cheese preferences, but he still hasn't suggested popping out for a pint, let alone coming round to pull my pigtails and do me up the garry.

Another one, an old flame from way back who had appeared back on the scene and seemed "interested", but having been told back in August that I would like to bite him (no, not just out of the blue, even I recognise how scary that would seem) then disappeared from sight, until I texted him earlier today and asked "how the hell are you, stranger?" - he then went on to admit that (back in August) he thought he had left it too late to respond and didn't want to seem like a twat. But that he didn't want to be a stranger really, was not the fly by night character he used to be, and had genuinely been thinking about me lately. But still seems "enigmatic" to say the very least.

There are one or two more, for whom I would happily play the Doris, but they also seem reticent to move forward.

I'm not *that* scary.
Am I?
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Ribenapigeon]

[hellkat]

I am destined to remain a dessicated old spinster for the rest of my days
*sigh*
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[hellkat]

I hate myself for giving in and letting Longshanks in the back door.

Stupid cunt, he was just banging on and on at the cat flap. It would have kept me up all night, fuckwit of a feline.



I doubt he even appreciates how much effort I had to go to in order to move all that crap away from the back door area so I could jiggle with his cat flap controls to get it to swing both ways
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Howling Terror]

I sometimes think what it must be like to be a teenager in these times (my smutty innuendo hat is not on...okay) and I'm unsure whether to be envious.

Oh to have females that knew exactly what they wanted without the stigmas attached. None of that waiting around until the last dance then getting the cold shoulder...or kicking snow up their skirts to show you liked them.
I as a 'regular' hetro male wanted clear signs..The signs that Mandy ahem Smith gave us whilst away on a outward bounds school trip.
We'd found a loose floorboard in the lads dorm with the girls (from another school) below us.
To show our interest we got Keith's underpants, doused them in Brut aftershave and popped them through the hole in the ceiling.

Upon landing and hearing much squealing we knew the week was off to a good start.

Next night plans were afoot, we were to somehow get past the teacher on guard and invade the girls dorm.
Before doing so one of the lads called down in a loud whisper the phrase 'Show us your tits' through the small opening.

I was one of the lucky few eyeballs to have witnessed Miss Mandy lift up her pyjama top and wiggle her bosoms.

Sometime later a half a dozen of us had made our way down. The teacher had clocked off so we were in. In into a dark room and we scattered each hiding under a different bed.

Immediately a hand reached down and I felt it touch my leg...then wham it was straight onto my nob (possibly by mistake).
Whoah! I'm outta there. This was more than I'd bargained for so I scooted under another bed.
Now I'm not sure exactly what happened next but I do know that me and this girl kissed. We couldn't really see each other properly but we briefly did some necking and exchanged names.

During that week I never went to the girls dorm again because I didn't have to. After each day's activity (y'know canoeing, sailing, climbing) all students would eat in the communal dining room after which Karen and I would snog each other's face off. She did French style and she taught me well.
When it was time to leave there was no 'I'll write' it was a simple goodbye as her coach left. I suspected she had a proper boyfriend waiting for her.

FFWD>> A good few decades.

I'm single again and quite happy thankyouverymuch.
The woman I'm working with and never once had the thought 'show us your tits' is rummaging through the glovebox in the works van. We've always had a laugh so I come around behind her, gently get her in a head-lock and say 'Oi! what yer thieving then?'. Hindsight tells me this is dodgy ground but we knew each other well enough and been working closely together for a year or so. She could've quite rightly elbowed me in the ribs and told me to get off and I would've cowered back and apologised profusely ...but she didn't. She froze like a startled rabbit. I moved back and we looked at each other.

Something had changed.
I didn't know I had feelings for her but she apparently did have them for me.
It was payday and payday means me doing a food shop bachelor style i.e All I need in one visit. She asked if I wanted any help. Of course I do. I'm strong enough but for a *wee lass from Shropshire who can handle a chainsaw like she did the offer of her carrying some bags was very handy.

After unpacking she led me into my own front room and shagged me on the sofa.

So Lady Jen I say this; Be direct. Tell this fella you like him and take him for a drink.
Some blokes can be quite backwards when it comes to going forwards.

*Yes of course I married her. The girl is seriously good with a chainsaw.
____________________
Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[Sister Sledge]

Dennis the cat is a she?
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CCM 404 DS

[Polarbear]

[A100man]