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Todays - What grinds my gears *ARCHIVE*

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Ribenapigeon
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PostPosted: 13:12 - 10 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
Soul singers warbling their way through xhristmas songs. Why do they do it? I can't care less how many octaves they can whine through at theeeEEEEeeeeeeeeee..eeeeEEeeee ennnNNNNDDDD OOOOOF AAaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAaaaa phrase.
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Freddyfruitba...
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PostPosted: 15:23 - 10 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
hellkat wrote:
I asked one (somewhat ingenuously) whether he had any single male friends that I could play with.

See, herein lies your problem. You've just asked him if he has any single mates, which his insecure male brain has instantly translated as "Oh, so she's not interested in ME, then. End of." (Definitely how I'd have interpreted that interaction myself Wink)

hellkat wrote:
He responded by saying that he found it "hard to believe a woman like you would be on her own".

Manspeak for "I have the hots for you". So, that's all good at least?

hellkat wrote:
he still hasn't suggested popping out for a pint, let alone coming round to pull my pigtails and do me up the garry.

No, because (see above) in his mind you've already knocked him back. Plus, equally significantly, for some reason he's presumably decided that you're not exactly the shy and retiring wallflower type who will wait to be asked out? And that therefore if you were interested, you'd have popped the 'pint' question yourself already? (although maybe not the 'garry' one. Yet.)

Which does kind of beg the question, why didn't you?
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Ribenapigeon
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PostPosted: 17:23 - 10 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
Freddyfruitbat wrote:
hellkat wrote:
I asked one (somewhat ingenuously) whether he had any single male friends that I could play with.

See, herein lies your problem. You've just asked him if he has any single mates, which his insecure male brain has instantly translated as "Oh, so she's not interested in ME, then. End of." (Definitely how I'd have interpreted that interaction myself Wink)



Yeah Hellkat stuck him in the Friend Zone there.
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piazza
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PostPosted: 18:01 - 10 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
Agreed. bloody wimmen! Mad
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pepperami
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PostPosted: 20:49 - 10 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
Yesterday I twisted my knee and today it’s the size of a football Evil or Very Mad and it fecking hurts Shocked Evil or Very Mad .
Fugg fugg fuggy fugg!

I’m gonna need some impressive pain killers to get through this Crying or Very sad
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virus
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PostPosted: 20:52 - 10 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
pepperami wrote:
Yesterday I twisted my knee and today it’s the size of a football Evil or Very Mad and it fecking hurts Shocked Evil or Very Mad .
Fugg fugg fuggy fugg!

I’m gonna need some impressive pain killers to get through this Crying or Very sad


Sounds like you need some tramalol.
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stinkwheel Well I just had my hands up a pigs fanny. Which makes your concerns pale into insignificance.
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A100man
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PostPosted: 21:02 - 10 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
Freddyfruitbat wrote:
hellkat wrote:
I asked one (somewhat ingenuously) whether he had any single male friends that I could play with.

See, herein lies your problem. You've just asked him if he has any single mates, which his insecure male brain has instantly translated as "Oh, so she's not interested in ME, then. End of." (Definitely how I'd have interpreted that interaction myself Wink)



Oh come on, FFS do we have to go back to the basics with all of you? Rolling Eyes
Any chap worth his salt would have responded, 'well no but I'm available' accompanied by a wink and a cheesey grin.
Chap #1 deffo not interested OR too dull-witted to want to spend any time with..
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 21:50 - 10 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
Sister Sledge wrote:
Dennis the cat is a she?


Well, we'd already decided to call the cat Dennis, because it is a tripod cat so "Dennis Hopper" ... Shifty

But when it arrived, it turned out to be a girl.
But we'd already started referring to it as Dennis before it even got here.

"Denise" just doesn't really fit.
She's a proper handful, bit of a nightmare, spirited to say the least.
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Ribenapigeon
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PostPosted: 21:51 - 10 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
pepperami wrote:
Yesterday I twisted my knee and today it’s the size of a football Evil or Very Mad and it fecking hurts Shocked Evil or Very Mad .
Fugg fugg fuggy fugg!

I’m gonna need some impressive pain killers to get through this Crying or Very sad



Hellkat might look after your swelling. Laughing
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 22:27 - 10 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
Freddyfruitbat wrote:

No, because (see above) in his mind you've already knocked him back. Plus, equally significantly, for some reason he's presumably decided that you're not exactly the shy and retiring wallflower type who will wait to be asked out? And that therefore if you were interested, you'd have popped the 'pint' question yourself already? (although maybe not the 'garry' one. Yet.)

Which does kind of beg the question, why didn't you?

I did, actually.
His response was "anytime".
Which I understood to be "interested" but not interested enough.
Properly interested would be "How about next Friday?".
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 22:40 - 10 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
Ribenapigeon wrote:
pepperami wrote:
Yesterday I twisted my knee and today it’s the size of a football Evil or Very Mad and it fecking hurts Shocked Evil or Very Mad .
Fugg fugg fuggy fugg!

I’m gonna need some impressive pain killers to get through this Crying or Very sad



Hellkat might look after your swelling. Laughing

Laughing
Yeah but I've sworn off:
(a) married men; and
(b) blokes from forums I am also substantively in attendance on.
(both as a result of previous experience) Rolling Eyes

Poor Peperoncino Wub
Have you tried Tiger Balm on it yet?
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A100man
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PostPosted: 23:19 - 10 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
Howling Terror wrote:
I sometimes think what it must be like to be a teenager in these times (my smutty innuendo hat is not on...okay) and I'm unsure whether to be envious.

Oh to have females that knew exactly what they wanted without the stigmas attached. None of that waiting around until the last dance then getting the cold shoulder...or kicking snow up their skirts to show you liked them.
I as a 'regular' hetro male wanted clear signs..The signs that Mandy ahem Smith gave us whilst away on a outward bounds school trip.
We'd found a loose floorboard in the lads dorm with the girls (from another school) below us.
To show our interest we got Keith's underpants, doused them in Brut aftershave and popped them through the hole in the ceiling.

Upon landing and hearing much squealing we knew the week was off to a good start.

Next night plans were afoot, we were to somehow get past the teacher on guard and invade the girls dorm.
Before doing so one of the lads called down in a loud whisper the phrase 'Show us your tits' through the small opening.

I was one of the lucky few eyeballs to have witnessed Miss Mandy lift up her pyjama top and wiggle her bosoms.

Sometime later a half a dozen of us had made our way down. The teacher had clocked off so we were in. In into a dark room and we scattered each hiding under a different bed.

Immediately a hand reached down and I felt it touch my leg...then wham it was straight onto my nob (possibly by mistake).
Whoah! I'm outta there. This was more than I'd bargained for so I scooted under another bed.
Now I'm not sure exactly what happened next but I do know that me and this girl kissed. We couldn't really see each other properly but we briefly did some necking and exchanged names.

During that week I never went to the girls dorm again because I didn't have to. After each day's activity (y'know canoeing, sailing, climbing) all students would eat in the communal dining room after which Karen and I would snog each other's face off. She did French style and she taught me well.
When it was time to leave there was no 'I'll write' it was a simple goodbye as her coach left. I suspected she had a proper boyfriend waiting for her.

FFWD>> A good few decades.

I'm single again and quite happy thankyouverymuch.
The woman I'm working with and never once had the thought 'show us your tits' is rummaging through the glovebox in the works van. We've always had a laugh so I come around behind her, gently get her in a head-lock and say 'Oi! what yer thieving then?'. Hindsight tells me this is dodgy ground but we knew each other well enough and been working closely together for a year or so. She could've quite rightly elbowed me in the ribs and told me to get off and I would've cowered back and apologised profusely ...but she didn't. She froze like a startled rabbit. I moved back and we looked at each other.

Something had changed.
I didn't know I had feelings for her but she apparently did have them for me.
It was payday and payday means me doing a food shop bachelor style i.e All I need in one visit. She asked if I wanted any help. Of course I do. I'm strong enough but for a *wee lass from Shropshire who can handle a chainsaw like she did the offer of her carrying some bags was very handy.

After unpacking she led me into my own front room and shagged me on the sofa.

So Lady Jen I say this; Be direct. Tell this fella you like him and take him for a drink.
Some blokes can be quite backwards when it comes to going forwards.

*Yes of course I married her. The girl is seriously good with a chainsaw. Wub


Did you sell the film rights to Channel 4 - I may have seen that one Wink
If not I'm sure Ken Loach could be interested.
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 23:23 - 10 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
Maybe one day I'll write some of these down.
The day I popped my cherry is a classic.

[edit]
And the one with the au pair.

Albeit a normal life I have had my fair share of interesting moments...haven't we all eh.

The fancy dress party with the coppers.
The overtime on mushrooms.
The big top one at Glastonbury '87
The attempted coup of Rod Stewart.
The Chevette through the goalposts....in fact the Chevette deserves it's own book. LGD 13P Wub
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 23:40 - 10 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
There you go, you've already sketched out the bones of an interesting-sounding autobiography.

Cool
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 23:48 - 10 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
Maybe, but I think it would be quite a boring read for the most part.

I may do an audiobook version and stash it on a cassette for the grandkids to find. Smile
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A100man
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PostPosted: 09:17 - 11 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
Howling Terror wrote:
Maybe, but I think it would be quite a boring read for the most part.



If its anything like mine it all happened before I was 30-ish. The last 20+ years have been taken up with the mundane and the daily grind Crying or Very sad
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bhinso
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PostPosted: 15:21 - 11 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
virus wrote:
pepperami wrote:
Yesterday I twisted my knee and today it’s the size of a football Evil or Very Mad and it fecking hurts Shocked Evil or Very Mad .
Fugg fugg fuggy fugg!

I’m gonna need some impressive pain killers to get through this Crying or Very sad


Sounds like you need some tramalol.


Did my back in after a cycling accident. Couldn't play my favourite sport (golf) without extreme agony.
Next week, after some tramalololol I shot my best score ever, a 70.

True story Thumbs Up
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 16:37 - 11 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
A100man wrote:

If its anything like mine it all happened before I was 30-ish. The last 20+ years have been taken up with the mundane and the daily grind Crying or Very sad

I stretched it into my 40s but now I'm a very good boy.

52 on Friday so I guess that qualifies for this 'Grinds my gears' thread.

In a parallel universe I'm just coming off stage after playing a blinding set in Reykjavik... 2 Icelandic ladies backstage all ready to spin on my shaved head (….okay okay...on my bald head...I could grow hair but I'm too lazy).

Ageing sucks balls bigtime.
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pepperami
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PostPosted: 18:58 - 11 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
Howling Terror wrote:


Ageing sucks balls bigtime.


This^ again this^ , I fugging hate getting older Evil or Very Mad .

Recovery time from knocks and bangs gets longer and longer Sad
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Kawasaki Jimbo
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PostPosted: 19:10 - 11 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
Ribenapigeon wrote:
Soul singers warbling their way through xhristmas songs. Why do they do it? I can't care less how many octaves they can whine through at theeeEEEEeeeeeeeeee..eeeeEEeeee ennnNNNNDDDD OOOOOF AAaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAaaaa phrase.

Technically known as "melisma" (sounds like a disease), and mostly annoying in pop because it's grossly overdone. Pick a note and hold it!! Laughing
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Kawasaki Jimbo
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PostPosted: 19:16 - 11 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
Haircut today, concluding with the double-mirror demo of my crown's balding patch. On every other day I can pretend it doesn't exist. Crying or Very sad
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 19:55 - 11 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
pepperami wrote:
Howling Terror wrote:


Ageing sucks balls bigtime.


This^ again this^ , I fugging hate getting older Evil or Very Mad .

Recovery time from knocks and bangs gets longer and longer Sad


Amen to that. And this time of year is the worst.
Upped my training intensity (or tried to) a few days ago - I thought I might as well, bugger-all else to do. All fine, some muscular aches next day, no bother. Then we get hit with this current low pressure system and I'm in agony all day, all the old bone breaks hurting like hell, can't train at all. Fugging winter! Evil or Very Mad
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Sister Sledge
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PostPosted: 21:28 - 11 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
Aging definitely sucks! My body healed many breaks over its lifetime but now they haunt me when temperatures drop. Sometimes I actually cry when my knees hurt too much and meds don't stop the pain Sad

What grinds my gears today? Dads partner grinds my gears. (swearing coming..)
Months ago she announced that no-one was to buy presents for them for Xmas. She was adamant and refused to budge. Xmas presents were pointless she claimed and insisted that only Xmas cards should be exchanged.
Today I called by to see them and she handed me Xmas presents etc. I actually said what the f*ck? I reminded her about her words. What an utter cunt for doing it - makes all of us lot (she has family my age) feel like shits and misers.
It's not Xmas yet and yes I will gift them something I've made but FFS why do people do sh*t like that?
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Freddyfruitba...
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PostPosted: 22:11 - 11 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
Sister Sledge wrote:
Months ago she announced that no-one was to buy presents for them for Xmas.

Sounds like my kind of woman...

Sister Sledge wrote:
Today I called by to see them and she handed me Xmas presents etc. I actually said what the f*ck? I reminded her about her words. What an utter cunt for doing it - makes all of us lot (she has family my age) feel like shits and misers.

But... but... there's still two weeks till Christmas! What's the problem? I literally have not bought one single present yet (though it's about time I got round to it, admittedly). If she'd pulled that stunt on Christmas Day I'd be able to see where you're coming from, but as it is - meh...
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thx1138
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PostPosted: 22:21 - 11 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote
pepperami wrote:
Howling Terror wrote:


Ageing sucks balls bigtime.


This^ again this^ , I fugging hate getting older Evil or Very Mad .

Recovery time from knocks and bangs gets longer and longer Sad


my right arm barely works, tennis elbow, carpal tunnel, and trigger finger

growing old does indeed suck
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