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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 21:02 - 24 Jan 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

King29 wrote:
Diarrhoea Awareness week next week

Starts Monday, runs til Friday


That's a shit joke.
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Chickenystripgeezer's Biking Life (Latest update 19/10/18) Belgium, France, Italy, Austria tour 2016 Picos de Europa, Pyrenees and French Alps tour 2017 Scotland Trip 1, now with BONUS FEATURE edit, 5/10/19, on page 2 Scotland Trip 2 Luxembourg, Black Forest, Switzerland, Vosges Trip 2017
THERE'S MILLIONS OF CHICKENSTRIPS OUT THERE!
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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 23:34 - 24 Jan 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

No shit, Sherlock. Razz
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 14:11 - 26 Jan 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

I saw this advert in a window that said: ‘Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.’
I thought, for that price, I can’t turn that down.
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Easy-X
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PostPosted: 13:48 - 27 Jan 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

I caught Covid from my cat...

...don't ask me how!
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Hong Kong Phooey
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Joined: 30 Apr 2016
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PostPosted: 17:43 - 27 Jan 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

Easy-X wrote:
I caught Covid from my cat...

...don't ask meeeow!


Fixed 4u
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recman
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Joined: 26 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: 00:18 - 28 Jan 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

Howling Terror wrote:
I saw this advert in a window that said: ‘Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.’
I thought, for that price, I can’t turn that down.


One of Tim Vine's finest.
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 01:25 - 30 Jan 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

A man takes his young daughter to 'Take your kid to work Day'

As they were walking around the office she started crying.

'What's wrong?' He said.

As the staff gathered around she sobbed loudly 'Where are all the clowns?'
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The Harry Turner Project
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 00:31 - 06 Feb 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

​Im an agnostic dyslexic insomniac, I lie awake all night wondering if there's a Dog.
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Chickenystripgeezer's Biking Life (Latest update 19/10/18) Belgium, France, Italy, Austria tour 2016 Picos de Europa, Pyrenees and French Alps tour 2017 Scotland Trip 1, now with BONUS FEATURE edit, 5/10/19, on page 2 Scotland Trip 2 Luxembourg, Black Forest, Switzerland, Vosges Trip 2017
THERE'S MILLIONS OF CHICKENSTRIPS OUT THERE!
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 03:33 - 06 Feb 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just found out I've failed my online German exam.

Sacré bleu!
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 09:39 - 06 Feb 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

A job in a mirror factory? I can see myself doing that.
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Chickenystripgeezer's Biking Life (Latest update 19/10/18) Belgium, France, Italy, Austria tour 2016 Picos de Europa, Pyrenees and French Alps tour 2017 Scotland Trip 1, now with BONUS FEATURE edit, 5/10/19, on page 2 Scotland Trip 2 Luxembourg, Black Forest, Switzerland, Vosges Trip 2017
THERE'S MILLIONS OF CHICKENSTRIPS OUT THERE!
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 09:41 - 06 Feb 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

I took the shell off my snail, hoping it would make him faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish.
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Chickenystripgeezer's Biking Life (Latest update 19/10/18) Belgium, France, Italy, Austria tour 2016 Picos de Europa, Pyrenees and French Alps tour 2017 Scotland Trip 1, now with BONUS FEATURE edit, 5/10/19, on page 2 Scotland Trip 2 Luxembourg, Black Forest, Switzerland, Vosges Trip 2017
THERE'S MILLIONS OF CHICKENSTRIPS OUT THERE!
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A100man
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Joined: 19 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: 10:28 - 06 Feb 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

'Dad.. is it true that in some countries you don't know your wife until
the wedding day?'

'..it's like that in every country son'
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Keithy
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Joined: 22 Sep 2020
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PostPosted: 00:23 - 07 Feb 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

Got a date next week with a lady who works in an abattoir, she’s a stunner.
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Blah blah
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Joined: 05 Mar 2015
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PostPosted: 18:10 - 09 Feb 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

King29 wrote:
Diarrhoea Awareness week next week

Starts Monday, runs til Friday


Diarrhea is hereditary, it runs in your jeans...
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Tracey Suntan-King
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PostPosted: 21:00 - 25 Feb 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

I went to see my doctor today. I said "I applied the pile cream you gave me and i got a very nasty reaction."

"Where exactly did you apply it?" he asked.

I said "On the bus!"
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recman
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PostPosted: 21:43 - 01 Mar 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just had a random message from a bloke asking to meet in the woods to compare dick sizes.
Bloody weirdo didn't even turn up.
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Skudd
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PostPosted: 13:01 - 02 Mar 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

recman wrote:
Just had a random message from a bloke asking to meet in the woods to compare dick sizes.
Bloody weirdo didn't even turn up.


Yes I did, but you had already gone.
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recman
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PostPosted: 22:06 - 02 Mar 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

Skudd wrote:
recman wrote:
Just had a random message from a bloke asking to meet in the woods to compare dick sizes.
Bloody weirdo didn't even turn up.


Yes I did, but you had already gone.


Ah, try again tomorrow?
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Hong Kong Phooey
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Joined: 30 Apr 2016
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PostPosted: 00:17 - 04 Mar 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

recman wrote:
Skudd wrote:


Yes I did, but you had already gone.


Ah, try again tomorrow? cum again?

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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 22:41 - 04 Mar 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

Helium walks into the bar and the bartender says:
"We don't serve noble gases here!"
Helium does not react.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI; MZ 150 ETZ, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor


Last edited by RhynoCZ on 22:12 - 06 Mar 2021; edited 1 time in total
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MCN
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PostPosted: 00:30 - 05 Mar 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

RhynoCZ wrote:
Helium walks into the bar and the bartender says:
"We don't serve noble gases here!"
Helium does not respond.


Elemental Rolling Eyes
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Easy-X
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PostPosted: 02:09 - 05 Mar 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

RhynoCZ wrote:
Helium walks into the bar and the bartender says:
"We don't serve noble gases here!"
Helium does not respond.


Should that be "Helium does not react" ?
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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 22:10 - 06 Mar 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

Easy-X wrote:
RhynoCZ wrote:
Helium walks into the bar and the bartender says:
"We don't serve noble gases here!"
Helium does not respond.


Should that be "Helium does not react" ?


Perhaps, well, the next ''I just translated this'' type of joke might not be any better. Thinking
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'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI; MZ 150 ETZ, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor
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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 22:18 - 06 Mar 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

Russia: The scientists just administered the Sputnik V vaccine to Vladimir Ilyich Lenin. More about it at his press conference at 10pm.
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doggone
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Joined: 20 May 2004
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PostPosted: 23:46 - 06 Mar 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

https://i.postimg.cc/4yQJSWYM/pooh.jpg
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Old Thread Alert!

The last post was made 3 years, 23 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful?
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