A Joke A Day

[virus]

I was going to tell you a time travel joke but you didnt like it.
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own: 81 xs1100g...
owned: 85 rat CG (sold), 91 GS500e (stolen), 84 gsx400f (scrapped), 81 z250 (siezed, siezed, scrapped), 83 cb250rs (sold), 84 gpz750r ratfighter (killed) 84gpz400 (sold), '80 cb650 ratfighter (wrote off) 95gsx6/12f ratfighter (killed) 91 xj900 (sold)
stinkwheel Well I just had my hands up a pigs fanny. Which makes your concerns pale into insignificance.

[The Shaggy D.A.]

Breaking News: A man was admitted into hospital today with 25 plastic toy horses inserted into his rectum. His doctors describe his condition as stable.
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Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5

[pinkyfloyd]

I worked out why Americans are so dumb.

The ones who go to school get shot.
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illuminateTHEmind wrote: I am just more evolved than most of you guys... this allows me to pick of things quickly which would have normally taken the common man years to master
Hockeystorm65:.well there are childish arguments...there are very childish arguments.....there are really stupid childish arguments and now there are......Pinkfloyd arguments!
Teflon-Mike:I think I agree with just about all Pinky has said.

[The Shaggy D.A.]

https://www.thepoke.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/D7J1RYaXkAA4KJY.jpeg
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Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5

[Howling Terror]

BonoChimpSax ...yeah good one.
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[Nobby the Bastard]

[B1N]

I asked a librarian if she had a book about Pavlov's dog and Schrodinger's cat...
She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

[B1N]

[Nobby the Bastard]

[Howling Terror]

My friend Gav died yesterday from taking heart burn tablets
can't believe gavisgon..
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[The Shaggy D.A.]

Me : One time, I did a fart that was so long I was surprised my arse didn't pause to take a breath.
Interviewer : ...and your weakness?
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Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5

[Easy-X]

"Yo! Where do you live?"

I live in the 'hood.

"Yo! Which hood you live in?"

Adulthood. It sucks, I wanna move out.
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Husqvarna Vitpilen 401, Yamaha XSR700, Honda Rebel, Yamaha DT175, Suzuki SV650 (loan) Fazer 600, Keeway Superlight 125, 50cc turd scooter

[to v or not to v]

the bar for what passes as a joke seems to be quite low on this thread
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current bike Yamaha Thunderace.
its old and fat, but its a damned good ride. the bikes not bad either.

[B1N]

Me and my wife went out for a meal last week.
We soon got seated at a table, while we were waiting for the meal she smiled at me, gave a sexy little giggle slipped off her shoe and started to play footsie under the table. Needless to say I slipped off my shoe too and joined in.
Anyway I had the steak meal and she got toed in the hole.

[pinkyfloyd]

What has Liz Truss and the Titanic got in common?

Neither outlived an iceberg.
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illuminateTHEmind wrote: I am just more evolved than most of you guys... this allows me to pick of things quickly which would have normally taken the common man years to master
Hockeystorm65:.well there are childish arguments...there are very childish arguments.....there are really stupid childish arguments and now there are......Pinkfloyd arguments!
Teflon-Mike:I think I agree with just about all Pinky has said.

[Howling Terror]

I tried donating blood today...Never again!
Too many stupid questions. Who's blood is it?
Where did you get it from?
Why is it in a bucket?
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[Skudd]

Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because I forgot to wash my socks.
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Famous last words of Humpty Dumpty. " Stop pushing me "
Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".

[Howling Terror]

I got attacked by three blokes last night.

I managed to knock one out. Probably not the best time for a wank but it could've been my last.
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[Nobby the Bastard]

There are reports that Boy George has been attacked by a reptile on the Celeb set.
They should have got a calmer chameleon.
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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha:"Remember this simple rule - scooters are for men who like to feel the breeze on their huge, flapping cunt lips."
Sprint ST 1050

[King29]

My names Mike and I've stolen a Goolge Pixel 7.

[recman]

Henry Winkler was on a flight from New York to LA.
The stewardess asks him, 'Would you like some headphones?'
'That would be nice' he says, 'Oh by the way, it's pronounced Fonz.'

[Howling Terror]

RIP boiling water.

You will be mist.
____________________
Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[to v or not to v]

[Howling Terror]

That's an Aldi one, the M&S will be along later.
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[A100man]

I probably picked this one up here but what the hell..

Police(after knocking on door): 'I'm sorry sir but it looks like your wife's
been hit by a bus'.

Man: ' I know, but she's good with the kids and she takes it up the arse'.
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Now: A100, GT250A, XJ598, FZ750

Then: Fizz, RS200, KL250, XJ550, Laverda Alpina, XJ600, FZS600