A Joke A Day

[Howling Terror]

Two cannibals eating a clown and one turns to the other and says 'Does this taste funny to you?'.
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[to v or not to v]

https://i.imgur.com/ONLuHcH.jpg
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current bike Yamaha Thunderace.
its old and fat, but its a damned good ride. the bikes not bad either.

[Easy-X]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GBXIAv5XoAAarj1?format=jpg&name=small
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Husqvarna Vitpilen 401, Yamaha XSR700, Honda Rebel, Yamaha DT175, Suzuki SV650 (loan) Fazer 600, Keeway Superlight 125, 50cc turd scooter

[to v or not to v]

https://i.imgur.com/JiXr8IU.jpg
____________________
current bike Yamaha Thunderace.
its old and fat, but its a damned good ride. the bikes not bad either.

[Raffles]

Changed the ringtone on my alarm to the hokey cokey.

Took me 20-minutes to get out of bed.
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A good loser will always be a loser.

[to v or not to v]

https://i.imgur.com/5F2VOaC.jpg
____________________
current bike Yamaha Thunderace.
its old and fat, but its a damned good ride. the bikes not bad either.

[RhynoCZ]

The train stops in the middle of nowhere, miles away from the nearest city.

- What we stopped for, a passenger asked.

Well, we hit a cow, the train attendant replied.

- Was it on the line?

No, we went across a field after it.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[Howling Terror]

The next time you dislike your life, remember it's all about perspective. I have a friend who reads 2-3 books a week, works out twice a day, has no financial worries, and has people who want to have sex with him all the time.
And yet he constantly complains about how much he hates prison.
____________________
Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[King29]

The Pope visits Liverpool, standing on a stage and waving to the crowd. Suddenly a young man jumps on the stage and says "POPE! can you help me with my hearing!?".

The Pope approaches they young man, puts his hands over his ears and does a silent prayer. Removing his hands he says "How's your hearing now!"; "Dunno" said the young man "It's not until next Wednesday!"

[Howling Terror]

A bloke rang the RSPCA and said he’d just found a dog and some puppies inside a suitcase.
The RSPCA man said ‘That doesn’t sound good, are they moving?’

The bloke replied ‘I’m not sure but that may explain the suitcase’.
____________________
Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[Howling Terror]

Fella in the pub told me his mate fell off his motorbike, he's got brain damage, 2 broken arms and missing an eye.

Blimey says I, no wonder he fell off.
____________________
Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[A100man]

[bhinso]

[RhynoCZ]

"I told my husband yesterday that I don't want to see him any more."
-"What did he say?!"
"Well, nothing. He just turned the light off."
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[DaddyStu]

May've seen this one elsewhere on the net but....

Whats the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?

You can't hear a vitamin.
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Daddystu
Zontes 125-G1 (part-ex'd). Yamaha Tracer 700.

[Raffles]

Do you know what I love about the MOBO awards?

It's the one night of the year that I know that my car isn't getting broken into.
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A good loser will always be a loser.

[recman]

https://i.postimg.cc/zDg3jMW8/FB-IMG-1708180264858.jpg

[MCN]

[Polarbear]

[RhynoCZ]

Three stuttering lads come into the pub. The barkeep says, lads I'll give you any drink in here for free, if you can order it without stuttering.

The first lad comes closer and says o-o-one b-b-bier... *sigh
The second lad approaches the bar and says I-I-I w-w-woul-d-d-... *sigh
The third lad, as nervous as one might get, takes a deep breath and quickly says GIN! - The barkeep looks at him and asks, would you like it with tonic or plain? The lad, not so amused any more, replies y-y-y-ou b-b-b-ast-tard!
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[bhinso]

If your dog is outside your back door barking, and your missus is outside your front door barking, which do you let in first?

The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

[Raffles]

So today is International Women's Day.
It was supposed to be yesterday but they took too long to get ready.
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A good loser will always be a loser.

[Raffles]

I knew I shouldn't have let the Missus book our holiday. She's shit on a computer.
We've now got a week exploring the Norfolk B Roads.....
____________________
A good loser will always be a loser.

[to v or not to v]

https://i.imgur.com/TpLo9pf.jpg
____________________
current bike Yamaha Thunderace.
its old and fat, but its a damned good ride. the bikes not bad either.

[virus]

whats the difference between a golf ball and the G spot?

Blokes will spend half an hour looking for a golf ball.
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own: 81 xs1100g...
owned: 85 rat CG (sold), 91 GS500e (stolen), 84 gsx400f (scrapped), 81 z250 (siezed, siezed, scrapped), 83 cb250rs (sold), 84 gpz750r ratfighter (killed) 84gpz400 (sold), '80 cb650 ratfighter (wrote off) 95gsx6/12f ratfighter (killed) 91 xj900 (sold)
stinkwheel Well I just had my hands up a pigs fanny. Which makes your concerns pale into insignificance.